Episode 134: Build A Better Buttplug And The World Will Beat Off

[Lemon]

with Boots Raingear, Acierocolotl, Isfahan, Portaxx, Jack Chick, and Lemon.

Content for this episode was compiled by Cheapskate.

Edited by Acierocolotl.

For projects in need of crowdfunding, Kickstarter has raised a billion dollars for projects, many of which were poorly considered, but none of them were overtly sexual in nature. What's the world to do when they want to fund the next generation of innovative porno and/or pneumatic dildos? They head over to offbeatr.com. This week, The F Plus signed you up for surprise phone sex.

[A Meat]

I was going to say that the main reason why it's mostly cartoons and comics being funded is that you don't actually have an embarrassing physical copy of your sex thing sitting on your shelf for people to see and question you about, but Bad Dragon exists, so I don't know what to think.

Still not quite an ironing board that you can fuck, but you could probably use that aluminum BDSM operating table as an ironing board, and you could probably modify it do be fuckable you that's your heart's desire.

[STOG]

Still not quite an ironing board that you can fuck, but you could probably use that aluminum BDSM operating table as an ironing board, and you could probably modify it do be fuckable you that's your heart's desire.

Please offbeatr my project to make an ironing board that moans very inappropriately when you use it.

[A Meat]

Still not quite an ironing board that you can fuck, but you could probably use that aluminum BDSM operating table as an ironing board, and you could probably modify it do be fuckable you that's your heart's desire.

Please offbeatr my project to make an ironing board that moans very inappropriately when you use it.

Now you just need an iron with a fleshlight in it so it can be just like the real thing!

[Ansemaru]

First: The phrase "kinky luge" will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Second: I think we found the homepage of the dwarves from Oglaf. FUCKIN' PORTABLE FUCKSTOOL! PUT WHEELS ON IT! TWICE AS PORTABLE! TWICE AS SEXY!

[Mister Smalls]

This site - and basically all of the sex-toy-related sites gone over in The F Plus - confuses the fuck out of me.  Why would anybody fork over 900 thousand dollars for a multi-speed triple-action fleshlight with kung-fu grip when they can just masturbate or buy a normal sex toy at CVS for five bucks?  Why is there apparently such a market for gigantic and exorbitantly expensive things made explicitly to be shoved into bodily orifices?  You could buy a goddamn yacht with the money certain single individuals person have spent on dragon cocks and motorized fleshlights.

[Adam Bozarth]

I like how 'aww shucks' Isfahan got when he said "There's a woman trying to, you know, masturbate..."

[One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes]

I like how 'aww shucks' Isfahan got when he said "There's a woman trying to, you know, masturbate..."

Oh good, so that wasn't just my imagination

[nigeline]

This site - and basically all of the sex-toy-related sites gone over in The F Plus - confuses the fuck out of me.  Why would anybody fork over 900 thousand dollars for a multi-speed triple-action fleshlight with kung-fu grip when they can just masturbate or buy a normal sex toy at CVS for five bucks?  Why is there apparently such a market for gigantic and exorbitantly expensive things made explicitly to be shoved into bodily orifices?  You could buy a goddamn yacht with the money certain single individuals person have spent on dragon cocks and motorized fleshlights.

But who needs a boat when you could have ORGASMS

[crow]

This site - and basically all of the sex-toy-related sites gone over in The F Plus - confuses the fuck out of me.  Why would anybody fork over 900 thousand dollars for a multi-speed triple-action fleshlight with kung-fu grip when they can just masturbate or buy a normal sex toy at CVS for five bucks?  Why is there apparently such a market for gigantic and exorbitantly expensive things made explicitly to be shoved into bodily orifices?  You could buy a goddamn yacht with the money certain single individuals person have spent on dragon cocks and motorized fleshlights.

But who needs a boat when you could have ORGASMS

better solution: have sex on a boat

[Ambious]

Still not quite an ironing board that you can fuck, but you could probably use that aluminum BDSM operating table as an ironing board, and you could probably modify it do be fuckable you that's your heart's desire.

Please offbeatr my project to make an ironing board that moans very inappropriately when you use it.

That would be my ex-girlfriend.

[Mister Smalls]

Still not quite an ironing board that you can fuck, but you could probably use that aluminum BDSM operating table as an ironing board, and you could probably modify it do be fuckable you that's your heart's desire.

Please offbeatr my project to make an ironing board that moans very inappropriately when you use it.

That would be my ex-girlfriend.

[Cheapskate]

New hypothesis: the Triads use furry porn commissions to launder money.

[Ambious]

New hypothesis: the Triads use furry porn commissions to launder money.

Given the price of some of those commissions that's totally possible.
I know because of.... research.
Yeah.

[McMillan and Waifu]

New hypothesis: the Triads use furry porn commissions to launder money.

Boy I hope that's a plot point in Sleeping Dogs 2.