Episode 128: Pioneers of Squat Cracking

[Lemon]

with Boots Raingear, Jimmyfranks, Squiddy McEnnui, Adam Bozarth, and Lemon.

Content for this episode was compiled by Dacey Mormont

Edited by Lemon.

Do you ever feel imprisoned by your own life choices? Bills, jobs, responsibilities... it's like we're not even alive anymore! Wouldn't it just be nice to be out there, alone, on the road, making your own way in the world, contracting cholera and giving blowjobs to truck drivers? The people of Squat the Planet think so! This week, The F Plus makes sure there aren't any homos in the bathroom.

[crow]

But seriously guys, donate to your local homeless shelter

[TheCrawlingChaos]

Lice and Hair Soup is the name of my new alt-rock band.

[A Meat]

Man, with that story with the guy diving into a dumpster with all the dirty diapers, I automatically thought he was going to dig them out of the trash microwave them and wear them, but then I remembered this isn't the right episode for Pamperchu to be on.

[Geremy Tibbles]

You guys turned into ECW there for a second.

That poem was fucking hilarious.

[KingKalamari]

I'm pretty sure that guy who suggested mayo as a lice cure is actually just planning to eat these drifters and wants to add some condiments beforehand.

I am also not at all surprised that so many of these guys have dreadlocks.

[chai tea latte]

But seriously guys, donate to your local homeless shelter

Shelters are awesome but these people don't use them. You'll be warm, but you get lice and somebody you don't want to fuck with steals all your shit. These guys are squatters, straight up.

Also, you do actually get used to discarded rigs eventually.

[crow]

Also, you do actually get used to discarded rigs eventually.

The discarded hypodermic needles give it that homey feeling.

[KingKalamari]

But seriously guys, donate to your local homeless shelter

Shelters are awesome but these people don't use them. You'll be warm, but you get lice and somebody you don't want to fuck with steals all your shit. These guys are squatters, straight up.

Also, you do actually get used to discarded rigs eventually.

Yeah, I got the impression a lot of the people on this episode were less homeless and more privileged west-coasters who've decided to drop out of society. That and the target demographic of Phish

[Alpha Starsquatch]

I can't believe Lemon didn't take the opportunity to advertise Ballp.it as a forum that's not full of homeless people. It's quite the selling point!

All in all, I think this has been one of my favorite episodes just for the sheer insanity and unexpectedness of the topic.

[Odd]

I had a family member close to me in age (but distant in everything else) that joined a group of Squatters into Anti-Fascist Activism in Spain a few years back. Following a skank. I was sent to talk to him and see if I would convince him to go back home.
I'll spare you their political insights but these people were some of the most stupid and myopic motherfuckers I have ever encountered. Rather than drift on different directions this group remained together under the guise of activism. Take your standard norm-defying hippie commune philosophy but remove any drive to create a living space for themselves so by either vandalism or carelessness every place they squatted at was wrecked. The ones I met all seemed to come from middle class families which they contacted whenever they needed something so they lacked nothing essential in terms of material needs. What they lacked most psychologically was any regard for anything beyond the immediate and the pinhole of their dumb socio-political ideas.

They did have a parrot. Which isn't strange because in many cities of Spain feral parrots are as prosperous as pigeons. I am positive that the cockroaches it feasted on were probably cleaner than the spoons they had in the full sink, which all had mysterious burn marks.
Squatters who actually manage to grow their own drugs seem to display entrepreneurial spirit not seen in other squatters.

[🍆]

I'm so glad you guys read tadpole water. It's not the most hilarious part of the forum but the phrase "tadpole water" is up there with "Trash by Herb" in making me giggle everytime I think about it.

[Tiny Prancer]

I never in my life would have thought I would be so incredibly happy to hear someone reply "FUCKING GAY" to an internet post until that poem.

Also I swear to god when that being read I started wondering if somehow I'd accidentally started listening to the sinking fetish episode and not realized it until then.

[Bobalay]

This is a little late, but I've heard that mayonnaise actually does kill lice. It hasn't been subject to a scientific study or anything, but I've heard several parents (with homes) say they used it to treat their kids and it worked well. Something about the oil and vinegar content.

[Haydon]

So I just listened to this episode for the first time and I'm amazed nobody's mentioned the Aqualung bit yet, I thought that was phenomenal

And a great episode generally, as always