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Topic: Episode 121: A Not At All Brief History Of Dozerfleet  (Read 43650 times)

Lemon

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with Boots Raingear, Acierocolotl, Bunnybread, Frank West, and Lemon.

Content for this episode was compiled by Cheapskate and Matt, based on a tip from Djeser at Something Awful

Edited by Lemon.

The artist leads a difficult life. Struggling to make sense of the world around him, he must create what is in his heart, then endeavor to show the world the truth he believes they must understand. Of course, the artist is a sucker. What he could be doing is putting together a massive wiki talking about himself, performing the same function with a lot more clarity. We're looking at Dozerfleet Productions: One man's quest to get somebody, anybody interested in what he has to say. This week, we're made to feel a little uncomfortable around purple pens.

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I was so excited when I saw this in the doc spreadsheet, because Dozerfleet is the sort of thing that I can't convince other people exist without the help of the F Plus. You provide a valuable service, ridiculists!

EYE OF ZA

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There truly is so, so much content on that wiki that you could make episodes entirely out of different portions of it.  Chronicling his life alone would make for an episode, and you'd get to see the slow, impersonal newspost drama as he creeps out girl after girl and rants about liberals making him watch bad movies in film class.

When he writes, and if there's one thing he does it's writing, it's got this Markov chain quality to it, like they were strung together from a bunch of young adult fiction novels.  I can totally see this guy reading those Left Behind books.

Dug up the SA thread where he came up (through TV Tropes, because someone who loves writing incessantly about their own material makes a great troper) and someone in the thread had actually met him:

I went to college with this dude and interacted with him many times as he was in the same program as friends of mine. He's one of the most threatening and disconcerting people I've ever met in my life and the picture painted by his "work" gives a pretty accurate picture of what he's like IRL. He has profiles on his wiki detailing the lives of random people from his collage program who never said more than a few things to him, and keeps records of girls who touched him +10 years earlier.

Been morbidly obsessed with his output since first meeting him.

Horror Hints: Read everything involved with "Dozerfleet music" for mondo serial killer shudders.

Zsa Zsa

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A story about a pencil that runs really fast has, in fact, been thought up before. It turned out like this:

Cheapskate

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Hey, y'know that Philippine woman who took his attention away from Carly?

The Dozerfleet founder began Facebook dating Filipina model Wilgrace Bation Rodolfo. While the two would eventually go their separate ways, the Dozerfleet founder would remain good friends with her sister Whitney.

KingKalamari

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This dude's biggest problem (Aside from his women issues, religion issues, political views, interpersonal issues and general idiocy) is that he seems to completely lack the ability most people have to look at his own ideas critically. I think any sort of creatively minded person has probably had brainfarts as stupid as Stationery Voyagers (Lord knows I have). But the difference between your average person and this guy is that your average person is able to look at that brainfart and say "Wow, this idea I had was really stupid and no one is going to give a shit". In contrast our pal at Dozerfleet seems to just be under the impression that any idea that has ever popped into his head is solid fucking gold and obviously something everyone in the world needs to know about.

You don't just fart out good things: You have to sort through mountains of neural misfirings to find ideas that are actually something other people care about. And then you have to actually put forth some effort to actually put them into a form that people will actually care about, but as we have learned from the internet that's hard work and posting on a wiki is way easier.

count_actuala

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This dude has dedicated hundreds of thousands of words filled with freshly bleeding pain to a time in life that I've almost entirely obliterated from my memory. Ho lee shit.

Haydon

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This guy is wonderful - I've been stumbling around his wiki and related websites for an hour or so and it's just so consistently amusing

Starting with July 23rd of 2012, no new EA software will be purchased for use with Dozerfleet Comics for the purposes of doing storyboard work for its properties. This is in protest of the company’s efforts to overturn DOMA, calling it bad for business. ... The result of this is that Dozerfleet is currently looking into alternatives to using Sims software for storyboarding and promotional art for The Gerosha Chronicles and Stationery Voyagers. ... No new Sims software will be purchased by Dozerfleet staff until EA reverses its decision and supports the Defense of Marriage Act in its entirety. ... Unfortunately, this also means that the rumored The Sims 3: Seasons, even if EA came out with it, would not be supported here. The Dozerfleet founder was originally very excited about the release of Supernatural.

A satirical terrorist group exists in season 3, dubbed the "Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against all Possible Criticism" (GLAAPC,) which demanded total immunity for everything it did; while resorting to terrorist violence to punish the Bindaf 3000 crew for refusing to get on board and endorse their lifestyle behavior choices.

The Evil Hair Maiden once stated in acting class at Ferris that "straight" is not an appropriate term for "heterosexual." To which the Dozerfleet founder countered: "It is very much appropriate. The other should be called 'Crooked' to make everything consistent."

Emeraldo's name is probably the most recycled. When this green Metallic Gel Pen character was rejected from the canon, his name was recycled in Ciem for use as the last name of Donte McArthur's half-brother Khumar. Eventually, Khumar and Lindsay's last names were changed to Hamilton, recycling the Hamilton surname from Replox: Abstract Foundations. By changing the name to Emeraldon, it replaced "Captain Emerald" as the superhero name of Donte McArthur. For the 2008 initiation of Stationery Voyagers, the Metallic Voyagers are referred to as: Technitel, Rhoxter, Bluxtin, Esmeralda, Pinxta, etc. The liberty of replacing Emeraldo with the feminine Esmeralda came at the cost of merging Emeraldo's part with that of Purellia.

Really great episode as well - material was excellent and the riffing was spot-on (anything about condoms in particular). Keep up the good work!

count_actuala

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Also memorable are the peanut bags that were handed out to students participating in the Christmas Eve service.
This man's life is a featureless goddamn wasteland.

ETA:
An earlier speech was given about night terrors that she had from the age of 12 to the age of 15. Most of these episodes involved a creature that liked to attack her legs. She dubbed it the "Tinkle Tinkle" after the sound it made when grabbing at her legs.

She described her final encounter with it being in the hallway of her house in Holt. It was "mostly gray and black, with the body of a snake and an elephant-like trunk for a mouth, with long, devilish ears and a muscular body of a man
oh no.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2013, 02:34:47 pm by THE TRUE JUICE »

Odd

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My apologies if there were any earlier hints that I missed, but the very second the "Stationery Voyagers" name was mentioned I was fucking 100% certain it was going to have a religious message.

There's no fucking way somebody would obsess over an idea like that unless Veggie Tales influenced them and they had a dearth of other stimuli growing up.
All other things being the same he could have grown as obsessed/inspired by any other shit they were exposed as a kid, like StarTrek or Transformers, but you can only become obsessed with ideas like this one if Veggie Tales was a big influence in your life and you weren't allowed to play with anything more controversial than HotWheels cars. Only like that would you think that cartoons about boring inanimate objects are a good idea, and then the religious message is perforce. Like Portaxx ranted elsewhere, some people are obsessed with the idea that cartoons need to have a lesson in them.

Runic

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Veggie Tales wasn't bad, at least compared to the other Official Jesus Brand Entertainment Products (tm) available to Evangelical kids. At least they put some effort into it. Compare with, say, Bibleman. Fucking Bibleman. Who was kind of like Batman minus everything that makes Batman interesting and fun.

Man, fuck Bibleman so much. You guys don't even know. The only circumstances under which a child might consider Bibleman entertaining are if they were systemically deprived from any non-Jesus Brand (tm) media ever. There is an entire industry out there of Jesus Brand (tm) knockoffs of pop culture for people who fear that any exposure to normal people culture will send you to hell or something, and Veggie Tales is pretty much the top of that industry, quality wise. Or at least it was before the original owners had to sell it, it's a long story. Fuck, I should wrangle up John and start a support group. You just don't even know.

cyclopeantrash

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I do know Runic, I do know. I was forced to watch two episodes of Bibleman every sunday from 1997 to 2004. It was miserable and it made me really dislike sundays when I was a kid. Children forced exposure to Jesus Brand (tm) media really do need a support group.

cube abuser

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oh man. i was browsing the wiki and found this...

Dolphinformia was a bi-weekly newsletter that was sent by the Dozerfleet founder to Emily Brynne Kincare, a former romantic interest of his, between the years of 2001 and 2002. It was created in a similar spirit to Yo-Splaz!, but with a simpler format and less-exhaustive content.

Cancellation
Dolphinformia soon came to an end in the summer of 2002, when Emily's mother advised the founder that Emily was dealing with some issues that were very serious. The mother didn't want the Dozerfleet founder ending up in harm's way, and encouraged him to break up with Emily for his own safety. Compliance was reluctant, but it happened. Only about one or two more issues of the newsletter were issued, before it was finally discontinued entirely.

Death of recipient
The Dozerfleet founder and Emily were in talks and considering meeting up in 2013 to talk about their lives, and what had happened since the breakup. They were good friends on Facebook in the mean time.

On Tuesday, April 2nd of 2013, Emily announced that she had recently been hired at a new job. However, she never got the chance to share details. She was found dead the following morning on Wednesday, April 3rd of 2013.


( ' ._.)

Odd

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I too experienced a bit of Religious BibletertainmentTM and I know shit can suck more. The vegetables in Veggie Tales at least seem to have adventures that involve Pirates, travel and other activities not exclusively about praising the lord. But there are a fucking million better alternatives for characters in a cartoon than just giving legs to the stuff you find in the countertop of your kitchen or desk and any kid who enjoyed something more than Veggie Tales would know that.

Now if you excuse me I have to continue my "Adventures in Odyssey" R-18 fanfic about divorce and second marriages. Because Eugene should have married Connie not that whore Katrina.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2013, 09:20:38 pm by Odd »

chai tea latte

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Man, think about how terrible it must be to be part of this dude's life. Every job interview for the rest of your life, on dates, you have to explain 'okay look if you google my name I need to explain some stuff about this terrifying creepy dude I accidentally made eye contact with once'. Beyond the cartoonishly anti-gay/woman/liberal stuff that's one of the standouts for me here.

I grew up largely secular, so I can't echo the Bibleman et al sentiments, but from what I've seen in the few bible study groups I've done it's not just an American phenomenon.