Episode 180: r/un_away

[Sherlockian]

Also wow the ridiculists know nothing about bras

That's true. It's come up before when somebody will say something like "I have 32F tits" and that just reads as invented to me, although clearly the bra alphabet goes way higher than I ever think it does. Amazon didn't help in this particular case though.

Bra sizes are (band size) (cup size) which basically boils down to chest minus boobs, and then boobs.  In the US, when a bra size is doubled, it just means it's the next size, so a DD is equivalent to an E, an AA is less than an A, et cetera.  Europe just goes up through the letters like normal, and Britian goes up through the letters to D, then goes DD, E, EE, F, FF, and so on.

In lots of porn on the internet people will just not know how bras work at all and decide like, okay, we know about 32B, so there must be a 64DD, and a 96GGG.  Women in shitty internet porn just have massive ribcages, presumably to hold all that hyper precum.

Yeah-- for example, a 32B would mean ribcage that is about 32 inches around, with boobs that stick out about 2 inches from the chest.  It varies by brand and can be stupidly complicated (as are all women's clothing sizes ) but that's the basic concept.

An F bra, which is on the upper end of what's common, is about 6 inches over the ribcage measurement, and a K would be 14 or 15 inches.

Good to know I'm not the only one who listens to F Plus while shopping. Nothing like picking apricots next to an elderly woman while someone's screaming about cocks in my ear.

I listen to it at work, which makes for occasionally entertaining afternoons.

[Spoop]

I fell asleep on the sofa at my parents' house last week and my mother said, "I walked in but you were asleep, even though someone on your computer was screaming about poops. Who was it? Are they okay now?". 

This is not to say that your podcast makes me fall asleep; I was hella jetlagged.

:D loved the ep, thanks!

[Isfahan]

I fell asleep on the sofa at my parents' house last week and my mother said, "I walked in but you were asleep, even though someone on your computer was screaming about poops. Who was it? Are they okay now?".

Aww, that's adorable! Your mother's concern for computer voices warms my heart. <3

Tell her that it was a guy who goes by the name "Kumquat," and yes, he's as okay as he's ever going to be.

[Fatty Bo Batty]

Man, the comments on the episode post turned into a real shit-show.

[Macho Masc Sangy Savage]

For a group of people that bitch about free speech a whole lot, they have incredibly thin skins.

[Emperor Jack Chick]

Okay, I was getting groceries when suddenly I heard "Doop-de-doop, I wanna see you poop".

I can never go back to that shop.

Good to know I'm not the only one who listens to F Plus while shopping. Nothing like picking apricots next to an elderly woman while someone's screaming about cocks in my ear.

I frequently listen to F+ while shopping. Its instrumental in properly selecting eggplant.

[Fatty Bo Batty]

It also stops you from impulse-buying snacks. You don't want potato chips after hearing about "dildo soup."

[Spoop]

I listen when I'm monster cockysing my data. For awhile my labmates wondered why I was laughing, then they just assumed I was cracking.

We all crack eventually.

edit: monster cockysing is much better than what I wrote.

[Sun Smasher]

Okay, I was getting groceries when suddenly I heard "Doop-de-doop, I wanna see you poop".

I can never go back to that shop.

There was one time I listened to an episode on the train. I had earbuds in, but they hadn't fully plugged into my phone so the speaker was still going full blast. I realized it when the woman across from me just kept giving me the weirdest looks. The car was empty apart form me and her. I'd like to think we bonded over crazy people, but I think she tells that story much differently.

[STOG]

Okay. Let's just assume there exists a universe where Run Fuck whatever show is a thing. Why would it be a RADIO show?

It's the 1930's and encrypted pay-to-listen channels for porn radio exist.

STOG, please write a short story about this premise. Thanks in advance.

"Blast!" Reginald Charmings screamed at the radio. "Who in the blazing hell gave this network their frequency, Arthur Scherbius?!" He gave it a good kick in its cherrywood frame.

"Be calm, my good man," said Kenneth Goderic, a blonde quarterback with a winning smile and an addiction to radio porn. "Some things in life are worth remaining absolutely placid for."

"Says you. You nearly went hysterical when we missed the last few beeps for Agatha Loverley's 'Woman In Rope'."

"I was having a bad day, and I also have a bad childhood. Again, be calm."

Reginald grumbled under his breath as he fiddled with the frequency. Just then, their friend and fellow radio porn fiend Edward Douglas burst in fresh off of his job as a textile worker.

"I traded my boss my pay for today's codes!" screamed Edward.

Reginald turned around.

"You bloody did what?" Reginald said.

"I also told my boss I quit after I lost my toe in that factory accident!"

"Well don't get my floor all bloody, then," said Reginald. Edward went straight for and dug around in the icebox, as usual. Reginald imagined that he would have to use the bloody footsteps of his friend in order to provide evidence to use for Edward's weekly beating around the face.

"Did you get them? Do they work?" Kenneth said, standing up in his seat like a trained dog.

"Hold on, hold on," said Reginald as he quickly tuned the radio to the frequency all the way to the left, and...

"...happy you could join us, dear listeners, for the first part in a groundbreaking new series we're premiering on this very network. We think it'll delight and satisfy all of  you listening out across America today. So please, get comfortable in your lover's arms - or if you don't have a lover's arms, then in the arms of the power of your imagination - and prepare to take down the code for Part One of 'Professor Smedley's Dinosaur Digestion Adventure.'"

"Where's the beer?" said Edward as he walked back into the room.

Reginald and Kenneth were both staring at each other, then back to Edward, then back to each other.

The story began, told as a series of long and short boops incomprehensible to the untrained ear. Or at the very least, the ear of the person who did not pay five dollars a month for the decryption codes sent in the mail. Reginald seized the codes from Edward's bloody ice-covered hand and tromped back towards the radio, furiously looking for something to write with and on.

"Pencil, pencil!" screamed Reginald. "Give me some blasted paper!"

"Did you guys get some codes? I had some, but I don't remember where I put them," said Edward. "Maybe if I sit down and think about... where... I put... them," he said. Then he slumped against the wall.

They weren't listening to him. Kenneth was busy staring intently at the speakers while Reginald tried to keep up with the radio, scratching out the code on the wall of his ugly apartment.

[moooo566 (taylor's version)]

On the idea that all these people only ever talk about this stuff, it's very much a thing on reddit to have multiple accounts. It would surprise me if most of these people aren't specifically separating their poop ageplay fantasies from the account where they post shitty memes involving anecdotes about their mother.

[advancedclass]

The powerful prose of the F Plus' writer in residence.

I regret, sir, that I have but one bulb to give.

[Agent (gobble, gobble) Coop]

On the idea that all these people only ever talk about this stuff, it's very much a thing on reddit to have multiple accounts. It would surprise me if most of these people aren't specifically separating their poop ageplay fantasies from the account where they post shitty memes involving anecdotes about their mother.

"I may seem like a meek and mild-mannered libertarian, but when the sun sets, I emerge AS DOOP-DE-DOOP THE MAN WHO WANTS TO SEE YOU POOP"

[positive stress]

I like to imagine that every single account that's ever been read in the reddit episodes is one person trying to keep all these aspects of their life separate. If my friends in the 2% milk hate club ever find out how much I love cum, they'll kick me out of the club!!

[Isfahan]

I like to imagine that every single account that's ever been read in the reddit episodes is one person trying to keep all these aspects of their life separate. If my friends in the 2% milk hate club ever find out how much I love cum, they'll kick me out of the club!!

They just took Rule 7 of the Ten Crack Commandments to heart.