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Projects => Other Projects => Irregular => Topic started by: Lemon on January 26, 2013, 09:24:04 pm

Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Lemon on January 26, 2013, 09:24:04 pm
Now it's time for the asexuals to get their say! We sat down with three webcomic artists who have no shame in telling you that they have not had sex in their lives. Might they do so in the future? That was discussed in a great conversation that went from Racists' who want promiscuous children to things to do in Las Vegas when you're asexual to the correct title of a Pixar parody porn title, and all logical points in between.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on February 02, 2013, 05:00:08 pm
So, I liked this episode for showing some reasonable balance with some asexuals who weren't AVENites, and weren't ashamed of what quirks they actually had. However, I did take issue with the short-sightedness of them stating (one outright, the other two agreeing) that the gay marriage issue doesn't involve asexuals at all.

A lot of asexuals still form romantic attachments, and those romantic attachments can still be same-sex and still develop into a desire for marriage (even without sexual involvement).

Plus, there's the general issue of how wanting other people to have rights even if those rights don't affect them is just plain, you know, neighborly.

There's also been some pretty good writing about how asexuality is legitimately on the queer spectrum. It's a bit alarming how many people only want to be inclusive to other people who are just like them, and their fight for equal rights, respect, and visibility and so on ends with their own personal issues - and then those people turn around and try to still differentiate why other people shouldn't get those rights, respect, or visibility.

Meanwhile, the AVEN forums themselves are pretty terrible, but David Jay seems to have his act together pretty well, and he's pretty well-spoken when it comes to relating with the media, at least.  So, here's a two-for-one (http://www.vice.com/read/asexuality-the-peoples-choice-for-people-who-dont-want-anyone) in which David Jay addresses these issues.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Chaz on February 02, 2013, 05:40:50 pm
I did take issue with the short-sightedness of them stating (one outright, the other two agreeing) that the gay marriage issue doesn't involve asexuals at all.fluffy, February 02, 2013, 05:00:08 pm

Hi there, I was one of the three guests on this episode, so I'm here to discuss this. I think I know what part you're referring to (Our response to the question "Is there any consideration to asexual rights?"), and I think you might have gotten confused with the wording we used. I agree that same-sex relationships and marriages of any kind, whether sexual or platonic, are important and should definitely be made legal. What we were talking about in response to that question was this whole notion that asexuals are demanding the right to be asexual and nothing else, and how plain silly that notion was.

If someone is a romantic asexual and wants to enter into a same-sex relationship and get married, then yes, they should have the right to do that. However, that still falls under same-sex marriage rights, rather than asexual rights. If someone is asexual and isn't interested in having a relationship at all, they already have all the rights they need as a human being, they don't need anything more than that.

Keetah's on this forum too, and Icarus might drop by as well, so if I haven't answered your response appropriately (I do sometimes have a hard time finding the right words to respond to these kinds of issues), then hopefully one of them can help clear things up!
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Keetah Spacecat on February 02, 2013, 06:15:05 pm
I'm going to echo Chaz too, since I was also in the podcast, that everyone should have marriage rights regardless of their sexual preference. I apologize for being really short sighted about the romantic spectrum of asexuality (seeing that I'm in it) in regards to same sex romantic relationships. If someone is in a homoromantic relationship by all means they should be allowed to get married! All of us are for marriage rights in general.

Asexuals for the most part enjoy the same rights as a straight person (unless of course they want to be married in a same sex relationship or are trans*), so we were focused mainly on the individuals (mostly idiots on tumblr) crying oppression over everything while GLTBQ members risk being killed for just the simple act of coming out. Of course everyone deserves to be treated with respect, but we we're for the most part calling out the more....stupid and non-nice parts of the asexual community as a whole. Especially when compared to the struggles the GLTBQ community had to go through just to keep from being JAILED for being who they are.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on February 02, 2013, 06:44:34 pm
Okay, that's a lot more reasonable!  I do agree that the idea of asexual-specific rights is more than a bit silly.

However, even if people don't tend to get violent against asexuals SPECIFICALLY, there's still a lot of marginalization and microaggression type stuff that occurs, not to mention all of the heads-I-win-tails-you-lose stuff around it where asexuality gets marginalized, ridiculed, and shamed.  Of course that all falls under the banner of basic human decency and it's not like it's only asexuals who experience that, but the phrasing I heard in the podcast seemed to just sort of go along with that being okay.  But it's also easy to take it out of context.

I do worry that a non-asexual non-supportive asexuals-are-just-repressed-homosexuals type might take that part of the podcast out of context and say, "See? Even asexuals don't think they need to be considered queer!" but people are always going to try to shit on other people no matter what, I guess.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on February 02, 2013, 06:52:50 pm
By the way, what about "gray-a" and "demisexual?" Those particular terms got a lot of ridicule on the original fpl.us podcast, and I seem to recall the irregular one just sort of glossing over it, but I've seen some pretty good defenses of the terms (http://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2012/08/08/many-ways-to-be-between/) - the problem of course is that the soundbitey definition that's so easy to rail against loses a lot of nuance (and the echo-chamber nature of the various asexuality forums doesn't help at all).

It seems like sexuality, attraction, and gender are really more of a continuum, and specific terms only serve to talk about extreme, highly-constrained points along that continuum.  So, while I used to think those terms were silly, I've more recently come to see them as valid, if only that they're shorthands for more complex explanations like "I'm asexual except for under very specific circumstances."
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Notm on February 02, 2013, 08:01:56 pm
The more I listened to this Irregular episode, the more I came to realise my own identification with a lot of what was said by the three guests about being asexual. I'm not saying that I would feel comfortable in not having sex but I can definately see the appeal in passing it up.

I don't remember if this was covered in the asexual episode, but I'm curious as to how many partners or past relationships the guests had been in before either coming to terms with their asexuality or experiencing a relationship as an asexual person (I know one of them had a partner that they couldn't have sex with due to medical reasons). I don't really know if my own personal disinterest with sex arises because I can't get into a relationship or not, could anyone comment on their experience?
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on February 02, 2013, 08:15:03 pm
Is it okay if that's answered by someone who wasn't a podcast guest? I've identified as asexual for many, many years.  I've never had sex, despite having many opportunities to do so.  On the other hand, plenty of asexuals force themselves to have sex but never really like it (same way that a gay person can end up forcing oneself to have sex with a member of the opposite sex to try to conform or whatever, which I suspect is also at the core of many conservative Christians' belief that homosexuality is a "temptation" that one must not give into).

I've been in a few relationships, usually with members of the same biological sex as myself, and usually they were problematic because of the imbalance where they wanted sex and I didn't, and couldn't understand how I would be uninterested (but I loved snuggling with them regardless).

In my case there's also some gender dysphoria going on; I identify as neutrois and would prefer to not have genitalia at all.  That has always been an aspect of myself, and it's not due to any sort of trauma or the like (for some reason the first assumption people make is that I must have been sexually abused as a child or something, so I just need to get that out in the open at the outset).

Like Chaz (I think he's the one who discussed the entrapment fantasy) I do have kinks that I find to be sexy in and of themselves, but that's different than sexual attraction and I think stems from the biological needs from my (lowered, but still existent) sex drive that tries to reach out in other ways.

Sexuality is complicated and different for everyone; it's just that most people have enough common ground that their respective differences are easy to compartmentalize.  Really, it's something that everyone has to figure out for themselves.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Chaz on February 02, 2013, 08:59:03 pm
I don't remember if this was covered in the asexual episode, but I'm curious as to how many partners or past relationships the guests had been in before either coming to terms with their asexuality or experiencing a relationship as an asexual personNotm, February 02, 2013, 08:01:56 pm

For me, that would have been one relationship. I was still exploring at the time, and I met this other guy  who I ended up becoming boyfriends with, but they started to be pretty obsessed about engaging in a sexual relationship, and I really didn't feel interested or comfortable with it at all. He thought I was trying to troll him and pretty much word-for-word said "You can't have a relationship without sex". At that point I figured it wasn't worth trying to keep the relationship anymore.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Keetah Spacecat on February 02, 2013, 10:24:02 pm
I've always held the idea to heart that people shouldn't be huge jerks to each other, that includes asexuals. Hassling someone for their sexuality is just not cool. If they are being a big huge jerk, hassle them for being a big huge jerk, not because they are ____.

I'm also going to say that even though I identify as Asexual, it could be a side effect of both trauma and medical issues. Or it could just be my natural sexuality. But I've always been attracted to people's personalities and wanting to just be with them instead of it being a sexual thing. I don't know if it's something I'll ever be able to know unless they have a magic cure all pill and can fix my crooked pelvis and back so I didn't have to worry about getting hurt having sex :x

And for me I dated in highschool, and I went to a tight christian private school. If you were caught having sex you were expelled, and they'd usually expel the female students more than the male ones. My then boyfriend pressured me for sex all the time, and I told him no because I valued my scholarship that I'd get when I graduate more than a quickie. So he cheated on me and then dumped me over email :B Hah!

I've been with my current boyfriend/fiance now for 6 years. He's never once pressured me for sex and he is a wonderful man. I'm willing to try sex though to make him happy, but every time we even THINK about trying something his mother or my roommates come into our doorless room and ask to be driven to Walmart or to clean up cat puke.

It's funny cause his mother wants us to just do it so bad but won't leave us alone enough to try anything hahaha!
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Isfahan on February 02, 2013, 11:32:27 pm
What about a motel room? If you're not crazy about the idea of sex, that's one thing, but if you really want to try it then "doorless room" is one of the easier hurdles to jump.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Keetah Spacecat on February 02, 2013, 11:37:33 pm
I'm actually saving up for a nice weekend at a local bed and breakfast. I'd rather just save up and drop money on a really nice room with some good food than the local motels (that have very bad reps) It's super awesome cause there's hottub like bathtubs in the rooms, and for an extra fee they can 'romanceify' the rooms. It's going to be very nice and romantic! I'm shooting for a date in March because work probably won't let me take off at all this month. Bleh.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Tophat on February 03, 2013, 11:39:22 am
Good luck to you Miss Spacecat! I hope it all works out for you and your fiance.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Adept on February 05, 2013, 01:32:35 am
It's funny how small the internet can be. I already knew Chaz's name from a mutual artist contact, and was rather surprised to hear him in the episode!

I actually have a sister who identifies as a 'panromantic grey-area asexual' and who has made a big kerfuffle about depictions of asexuals in the mass media and so forth in her university's LGBT center. She also says that her coming out to people as such on the first date leads to people dropping her like a hat and her love live consequently wasting away. Both the Aces & Cakes as well as the Irregular episode have been interesting for that reason.

I hope the interviewees don't mind me asking, but how common is behavior like this in the asexual community? Do you guys and girls feel like it's necessary to come out early in the dating process? How do you find other people who're sexually and emotionally compatible with you? I'm quite curious. :)

Thank you!

By the way: I love the idea behind Irregular, and would love to see more shows in the future. I imagine they can be difficult to set up, but I'd just like to say right now that the effort is appreciated. The F Plus is funny, but these, I find not only funny, but also insightful. It's nice to know how some of these groups live, and I feel like you give them a fair shake on Irregular. So thanks for putting these together, guys, it means a lot.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: icarus on February 05, 2013, 05:40:43 am

I hope the interviewees don't mind me asking, but how common is behavior like this in the asexual community? Do you guys and girls feel like it's necessary to come out early in the dating process? How do you find other people who're sexually and emotionally compatible with you? I'm quite curious. :)

Adept Omega, February 05, 2013, 01:32:35 am

personally i avoid the asexual "community" as much as possible. having through chance found friends who are also asexual was just sort of a nice surprise. but as far as any niche identity internet community goes, they all seem to be different flavours of the same brand of terrible. so i have no idea how common that behavior is inside the community, since i don't go there.

as to the dating thing, i never actively sought to date anyone. friends worked just fine if i ever needed any emotional support or connection. that doesn't mean people didn't seek me out, though, and when i'd tell them they were barking up the wrong tree and that i identified as asexual? i would almost always get something like this (http://missmab.com/Comics/Vol_1270.php). (excuse the fuzziness, and yes more often than not the last one was meant to be a pick-up line.)

but each experience is different.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on February 05, 2013, 11:45:27 am
My favorite one is "Don't sell yourself short!" like I've made a conscious decision to self-deprecate myself out of a sexual relationship.

Oh and then there's when my mom decided I just needed encouragement in being gay (since obviously I'm not straight) and kept on researching local gay groups for me to join and suggested that I join, specifically, a gay choir.  I'm still trying to figure THAT one out.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Isfahan on February 05, 2013, 11:53:32 am
I can help! She loves you, she's trying to be understanding and supportive, but isn't sure how to go about doing that. Have you talked with her about it, or are you just leaving her to suss things out for herself? A lot of gay people would kill to have a mother like yours.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on February 05, 2013, 11:58:18 am
I'm not trying to figure out why she's trying to help, I'm trying to figure out why she thought a gay choir was the specific suggestion I needed in order to find happiness.

Of course I've talked to her and said that I don't really need these suggestions because I'm doing just fine with my various friendships and Meetup groups and whatnot.

Also, she started on this when I was a bit depressed after my boyfriend of two years (which was a platonic, on-and-off thing) died unexpectedly, and she was concerned about the fact that I wasn't diving head-first into trying to find another relationship right away.

She definitely means well and I completely appreciate her intentions, but she's a bit too aggressive at trying to fix everyone's problems.
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Keetah Spacecat on February 05, 2013, 03:54:19 pm
I hope the interviewees don't mind me asking, but how common is behavior like this in the asexual community? Do you guys and girls feel like it's necessary to come out early in the dating process? How do you find other people who're sexually and emotionally compatible with you? I'm quite curious. :)Adept Omega, February 05, 2013, 01:32:35 am

Like Icarus I don't 'hang out' on any Asexual websites or things so I really don't know how common it is. I myself told my fiance early on because in my mind, if sex was one of the more important things to him and he didn't want to wait, we could break up then and it wouldn't hurt so much as if we were engaged and I told him then. I was very lucky that he wanted to stay with me and waited so patiently until I sorted out some of my problems so we can try it. He's a very good man :,).

And I dunno sometimes you just find people in the most unexpected of places. I met James at work actually. He is big into science, and he told me that I originally attracted him because he saw me  reading "Black Holes and Time Warps: Einstein's Outrageous Legacy" by Kip Thorne. And I saw that he was wearing a Metal Gear Solid shirt one day when he was putting together boxes to ship out clothes. I made a joke that the pile of Boxes was Solid Snake's Heaven and as horribly nerdy as that sounds, he said that day knew we were meant to be together.

He even asked my Grandmother's permission to ask me out. Hahaha!

So I say if you project the things that are important to you, someone will be bound to take notice. It may take some courage for them to talk to you, but If you give them a hand sometimes it turns out very well!

And I'm sorry we're dorks. :<
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Chaz on February 06, 2013, 01:08:06 am
It's funny how small the internet can be. I already knew Chaz's name from a mutual artist contact, and was rather surprised to hear him in the episode!

[snip]

I hope the interviewees don't mind me asking, but how common is behavior like this in the asexual community? Do you guys and girls feel like it's necessary to come out early in the dating process? How do you find other people who're sexually and emotionally compatible with you? I'm quite curious. :)Adept Omega, February 05, 2013, 01:32:35 am

A mutual artist contact? :o Now you have me curious. I kinda recognise your name but I'm not quite sure who you are. I'm glad I could surprise you by showing up in the episode, though! OH! You mean Gab! It took me a while but I recognised your icon in the end, haha! I'm glad I surprised you by showing up, then!

(I still want to get on an episode of The F Plus proper as a guest reader but alas, I have yet to be called over. I was hoping the quicksand episode would be my chance since I submitted a lot of the content, but I was on holiday when they recorded it unfortunately.)

As for your question, I spent a brief stint on the AVEN forums (Which is why I was knowledgeable on the whole cake thing, weird as it is), and as far as I can tell it really varies from person to person. Some people prefer to come out early, others stay quiet about it until the subject is brought up.  I can't say whether or not it's very common. But yeah, I met Icarus and Keetah by chance! (Icarus got me into The F Plus after telling me about the creepypasta episode, and I subsequently got Keetah into it too!)
Title: Re: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Adept on February 07, 2013, 01:01:15 am

A mutual artist contact? :o Now you have me curious. I kinda recognise your name but I'm not quite sure who you are. I'm glad I could surprise you by showing up in the episode, though! OH! You mean Gab! It took me a while but I recognised your icon in the end, haha! I'm glad I surprised you by showing up, then!
...Chaz GELF, February 06, 2013, 01:08:06 am

Yep! That would be Gab. :D

I guess it doesn't sound like there's a major consensus. I'm glad things worked out for you, Keetah - he sounds like a keeper. And Chaz, it'd be awesome to hear you as a guest reader on The F Plus.

Thank you for the responses!
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fruit power on February 15, 2013, 10:57:31 am
(http://media.tumblr.com/3be2e1112e9703084298b0127044721a/tumblr_inline_mi8mmpA28W1qhx8hm.png)

Tumblr asexuals.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: icarus on February 15, 2013, 11:21:10 am
because love and sex are totally the same thing
>:(((((((
>:((((((((((((((((( tumblr asexuals
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: JT on February 15, 2013, 02:45:06 pm
(http://media.tumblr.com/3be2e1112e9703084298b0127044721a/tumblr_inline_mi8mmpA28W1qhx8hm.png)

Tumblr asexuals.
fruit power, February 15, 2013, 10:57:31 am
Fuck this plane of existence.

Oops, I mean curse this plane of existence. Y'know. Wouldn't want anyone getting confused.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on February 15, 2013, 06:05:25 pm
Nah, my first thought was "fuck that," too.  Sex and companionships/relationships aren't the same thing.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Isfahan on February 15, 2013, 06:18:43 pm
You know, Tumblr asexuals, some of us filthy sexuals spent Valentine's Day alone and perfectly content, too.

Yes... perfectly content...

OH ST. PAULI GIRL, IF ONLY YOU DELIVERED LOVE AS WELL AS YOU DELIVERED BUZZES
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fruit power on February 15, 2013, 07:58:19 pm
You know, Tumblr asexuals, some of us filthy sexuals spent Valentine's Day alone and perfectly content, too.

Yes... perfectly content...

OH ST. PAULI GIRL, IF ONLY YOU DELIVERED LOVE AS WELL AS YOU DELIVERED BUZZES
Isfahan, February 15, 2013, 06:18:43 pm

Just make her your waifu. I hear it's even better than a real woman.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Keetah Spacecat on February 16, 2013, 11:21:44 am
Hahaha I spent many a Valentines day alone and it never really bothered me. I just don't understand people frothing at the mouth over that day like UGH IT'S SLAPPING ME IN THE FACE AS A SINGLE/ASEXUAL PERSON. And it's like man, it's another day on the calender. It's not even a horrifying holiday like Columbus day or anything else.

I spent my Valentines day watching Nova and playing Magic the Gathering.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Chaz on February 16, 2013, 03:23:58 pm
Oh man, just found some gold on Furaffinity. A friend of mine posted a journal looking for suggestions for a list of "10 types of furry we love", essentially a list of types of people in the furry fandom who are actually decent people (Friendly commenters, commissioners who give generous tips to their artists, artists who put in way more work than they're paid for and don't mind at all, that kind of thing).

Second comment down a brony comes in and says, word-for-word, "How about asexual romantics who are just looking for love worth eventually giving in to? I'm hoping my type can make it onto the list."

I am simultaneously cracking up and wanting to punch this person for completely missing the point of the guy's list.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Geremy Tibbles on February 16, 2013, 08:14:55 pm
OH ST. PAULI GIRL, IF ONLY YOU DELIVERED LOVE AS WELL AS YOU DELIVERED BUZZES
Isfahan, February 15, 2013, 06:18:43 pm

I did a spit take, not gonna lie.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Turtle on February 19, 2013, 03:40:09 pm
Just make her your waifu. I hear it's even better than a real woman.
fruit power, February 15, 2013, 07:58:19 pm
It's true. Real women have hair.

Gross.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on April 06, 2013, 10:54:02 pm
So for the most part I don't follow the asexual "community" (AVEN or any of its offshoots) but there are a couple of blogs I subscribe to and mostly ignore.  One of those just posted an article on how being asexual affects their life in graduate school (http://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2013/04/06/graduate-school-asexily/).

BIG SURPRISING SPOILER: Not much.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: chai tea latte on April 06, 2013, 11:49:13 pm
So for the most part I don't follow the asexual "community" (AVEN or any of its offshoots) but there are a couple of blogs I subscribe to and mostly ignore.  One of those just posted an article on how being asexual affects their life in graduate school (http://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2013/04/06/graduate-school-asexily/).

BIG SURPRISING SPOILER: Not much.
fluffy, April 06, 2013, 10:54:02 pm
...That didn't touch on being asexual in the slightest, though? I mean there was one sentence where she was worried that everybody would really really care that she wasn't interested in sucking face at parties, but goddamn, for someone in grad school you'd think she'd write a better argument.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: icarus on April 07, 2013, 07:38:55 am
asexuals crying about being oppressed remind me of the south park episode where cartman tried to win the special olympics
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on April 07, 2013, 08:42:54 pm
So if it's important to know how asexuality impacts grad school, what other entirely mundane things that have nothing to do with sexuality are apparently important enough to talk about?  The best mundane thing I could come up with was cooking (http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/47348-single-cooking/) but I'm sure there's other things I never realized I was doing differently than the rest of the world because I'm not engaging in sexual intercourse all the time.

Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: chai tea latte on April 07, 2013, 08:49:07 pm
So if it's important to know how asexuality impacts grad school, what other entirely mundane things that have nothing to do with sexuality are apparently important enough to talk about?  The best mundane thing I could come up with was cooking (http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/47348-single-cooking/) but I'm sure there's other things I never realized I was doing differently than the rest of the world because I'm not engaging in sexual intercourse all the time.
fluffy, April 07, 2013, 08:42:54 pm
Wow - economies of scale exist, this is clearly a sexysexual conspiracy. Also I don't think I've read a more petulant opener to a thread in a fair while, that was nice.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on June 03, 2013, 08:45:14 pm
help, i can't tell what's parody or sincere anymore (http://unseendaydream.tumblr.com/post/43838931596/i-made-a-thing)
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Ike on June 10, 2013, 07:43:05 am
irony is literally destroying humanity
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on September 27, 2013, 01:20:11 pm
(http://31.media.tumblr.com/c92a96e5e9353cfa63a3db24762546f8/tumblr_mtkfhqAPjo1qbq97mo1_r2_1280.png)
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: count_actuala on September 27, 2013, 03:35:31 pm
Because we can't just assume that sexual attraction MAY occur in any case, that would be too scary for my brain raised on Starcraft and anime.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Isfahan on September 27, 2013, 03:51:01 pm
If one requires a gigantic footnote at a terminus then it's a shitty flowchart and probably isn't the best format by which to make one's point.

In other words, this person made the flowchart thinking it would be all concise and punchy and then fucking ruins the chances of that by just slapping the normal Tumblr-demisexual boilerplate right at the end.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Psammetichus on September 27, 2013, 04:01:23 pm
Has anyone else thought about how sex is so important to some people?

Like, don't get me wrong, sex is really neat and a very powerful drive; I'm not taking the pseudo-asexual stance of "sex?" why do people even do that???" 

It just boggles my mind that some people, including MRAs and PUAs or tumblrite xsexuals (wherein x = a or demi or whatever) devote so much time to being with a pretty lady or a handsome guy. It just seems so extreme (or, perhaps, so sextreme?) a desire for achievements that will pass away immediately after your death.

I can understand people's extreme devotion to, say, work or art or writing or helping people, but the fruits of those tasks will survive their bodily death, while the experience of putting your penis into people won't matter five seconds after your death (barring procreation and all that, which MRAs/PUAs in particular view with derision).

Does this astound anyone else, or am I just being naïve?
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Acierocolotl on September 27, 2013, 05:06:20 pm
I'm not going to call you naive, but I am going to explain a thing which seems patently obvious to me.  My goal isn't to be patronizing, but it probably will feel that way.

Sex--for a male--is a standard by which one's machismo can be measured directly.  The man who gets a lot of women is a manly man-man, desired by women, and successful in society.  Whether you're overtly aware of it or subconsciously, fuckin' is the golden standard that makes a "man" a "man", society demands it, and the hotter his target is, the more manly he is.

Hence the appeal of pickup "artistry" and the mythology PUAs build around themselves--bangin' all these hot women (or at least posting that they have) lets them reclaim some machismo amongst others utterly obsessed with that shit (point to schlong), having not left highschool in terms of maturity.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: count_actuala on September 27, 2013, 05:39:42 pm
achievements that will pass away immediately after your death
Psammetichus, September 27, 2013, 04:01:23 pm
Damn, man, takin' it nihilistic in here.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on September 27, 2013, 06:10:38 pm
a desire for achievements that will pass away immediately after your death
Psammetichus, September 27, 2013, 04:01:23 pm
Speak for yourself, bro. I may be a lone wanderer in the desert, but I have left a legend in my wake.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: chai tea latte on September 27, 2013, 06:16:59 pm
It just boggles my mind that some people, including MRAs and PUAs or tumblrite xsexuals (wherein x = a or demi or whatever) devote so much time to being with a pretty lady or a handsome guy. It just seems so extreme (or, perhaps, so sextreme?) a desire for achievements that will pass away immediately after your death.
Psammetichus, September 27, 2013, 04:01:23 pm

Not everyone does everything out of concern for their legacy. Sometimes it's just fun to do stuff or whatever.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: count_actuala on September 27, 2013, 06:26:36 pm
a desire for achievements that will pass away immediately after your death
Psammetichus, September 27, 2013, 04:01:23 pm
Speak for yourself, bro. I may be a lone wanderer in the desert, but I have left a legend in my wake.
Cuddlegoose, September 27, 2013, 06:10:38 pm
It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: fluffy on November 17, 2013, 02:52:50 pm
So apparently just talking to people about what you want is HARD so let's distill it all into soundbitey scripts because that's what sexual relationships are, right? (http://anagnori.tumblr.com/post/66985397616/non-romantic-relationship-scripts)

(someone did explain why this is a REALLY BAD IDEA (http://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/scripts-are-a-bug-not-a-feature/) at least, although kind of ignored the whole "your entire premise behind this is COMPLETELY FLAWED" part)
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Yossarian on November 17, 2013, 04:01:00 pm
I was watching star trek while trying to read that and I had to pause it because I can only handle one stream of mindless technical babble at a time. So from now on I'm going to read all the asexual posts in the voice of Geordi La Forge.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Sherlockian on November 17, 2013, 11:38:32 pm
So apparently just talking to people about what you want is HARD so let's distill it all into soundbitey scripts because that's what sexual relationships are, right? (http://anagnori.tumblr.com/post/66985397616/non-romantic-relationship-scripts)
fluffy, November 17, 2013, 02:52:50 pm

So why don’t we start coming up with alternative, non-romantic gestures? Like, instead of giving someone a box of chocolates, you give them a fresh batch of cookies. Instead of dressing up fancy for a date, you dress up in ridiculous outfits or cosplay. Instead of taking them out to a candlelit dinner, you take them out to brunch with waffles and quiches. Instead of giving them a sappy love poem, you give them a poem…by Ogden Nash. (Look him up, he’s hilarious.)Quote from

The fuck? This is totally ignoring all the romantic relationships wherein people do that stuff all the damn time-- my parents go to brunch together. I bake cookies for my partner. Those are already neutral things to do with someone you generally care about.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Runic on November 18, 2013, 08:28:27 am
It's worth reiterating that aromantic tumblr types apparently get all their ideas about what constitutes romance from sappy movies and tv commercials. Because they are like fifteen and never go outside, I assume.
Title: Episode 3: Asexuals
Post by: Xenomantid on November 21, 2013, 10:24:06 am
It's worth reiterating that aromantic tumblr types apparently get all their ideas about what constitutes romance from sappy movies and tv commercials. Because they are like fifteen and never go outside, I assume.
Runic, November 18, 2013, 08:28:27 am

Never underestimate the adults who expect life to play out according to a narrative.