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Topic: Episode 69: The State of the Micronation is Strong  (Read 28486 times)

Boots Raingear

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Submitted for the approval of the midnight society:
Juice Unlimited, August 12, 2013, 05:49:19 pm

jr H   1 day ago
tupac n 50 cent get shot multiple times and still live this guy blows off his own thumb and collapses where his adrenal gland they shouldve kicked in

Yossarian

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Submitted for the approval of the midnight society:
Juice Unlimited, August 12, 2013, 05:49:19 pm

As a cytran dragon fox cat I was gifted with the knowledge of the mysterious 'cylinder gap' from birth and I am not foolish enough to make such an easy mistake. That's not a misfire or a malfunction, that's just a poor human falling apart when he stuck his digit into some flaming gasses and metal bits. not like those would hurt a cytran anyway. cytran 4 lyf

and then he went into shock. heheh

Isfahan

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Yeah, the wound was on his left thumb, so he was using a pistol-style offhand grip for a revolver, had his thumb so far forward that it crossed the cylinder gap and it got blasted.

This is the cylinder gap:



When you shoot a revolver, gases explode laterally out of that tiny gap, making a knife out of fire and pressure.



See where that left thumb is in relation to the blast? On automatic pistols you can put your offhand as far forward as you like, because there's no cylinder gap.



Try this grip with a revolver, however, and you'll get your thumb seriously hurt, as Tim demonstrated.

He was also wrong about putting his thumb in front of "the barrel" since that implies he stuck his hand out in front of the entire gun. He didn't. He was just using the wrong two-handed grip on the revolver because he started shooting one without the proper training.
Sherlockian Cyberventurer Baldr

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I never thought I'd say this about an Isfahan Gun Post, but nice job.  I wish I had a bulb left for you.  I watched the entire first season of Doomsday Preppers, and I never realized he had done that, or that it was possible.  I'd always assumed he had his thumb in between the barrel and the target.

Now you just need to explain how the beard guy kept his children's umbilical cords preserved for so long, and I'll demand a revision of the bulb system.

Killerpanda
« Last Edit: August 14, 2013, 02:29:35 am by Healslime »

EYE OF ZA

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I was just playing video games and listening to The F Plus and something hit me.

I think I know where the Dragon's Mantra comes from.  There's a game, Divinity 2, that I like a lot.  One of the main plot points is that you get trained as a dragon by getting sent into a dungeon with all these trials.  And this:

The Dragon is wise, a sage among the ignorant.
  He knows: not all that glitters is gold.

The Dragon is as agile as he is strong.
  Before the wings comes the feline leap.

The Dragon is perceptive, his eyes alert as his mind.
  Only he discerns a difference in a mirror.

is, verbatim, from that section of the game.  It also makes a lot more sense, because the second one comes before a platforming section where you have to jump a lot and the third comes before you have to find the difference between two mirrored sides of a room.

http://youtu.be/7Nc4CgYvHFE?t=1m59s

http://youtu.be/vXmlgL6l2vk?t=2m43s

http://youtu.be/vXmlgL6l2vk?t=8m13s

It's one of those weird singularity moments where I realize I play the same obscure Belgian RPGs as Malatorans.

montrith

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The Divinity series deserves more credit and less Malatorans. I haven't played Divinity 2 yet, but I'm deeply saddened furries have ruined yet another thing I like.

cyclopeantrash

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I hold confidence that Larian are the type of developer that would go out of their way to make fun of that type of person if they were made aware of it.

Psammetichus

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Thankfully, Malatora is not party to the Berne Convention or any other international copyright treaties and thus free from the grasp of the imperialistic legal arms of Belgian video game developers.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2014, 01:59:37 pm by Psammetichus »

Driya

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One of my favorite things from the SA thread is that the Malatorans planned to get into Sao Tome by convincing the government that the mountains had valuable gems. Then the government would let them waltz in and do all the mining (but then secretly they'd set up their country of cybernetic dragons).
When asked what they'd do to actually provide the gemstones they were sent to mine, the dude in charge said that they'd just create artificial gemstones and that would fool the government.

Another fantastic thing is that the lead dragon dude wrote a novel about how he and his boyfriend would become hermaphrodite dragons (because then it wouldn't be gay. Not even joking.) and live in Malatora and everything would be great. The sex scenes between the two were written as badly as you'd expect.
Lemon Maxine Headroom Yossarian

Isfahan

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The story is entitled "Reborn," and I saved a copy because it seems like the sort of thing someone would try to erase from the Internet forever in embarrassment a couple of years down the line. I've only skimmed it—because, like most selfish collectors, the having of the thing is more important to me than the appreciation—but it's full of passages of wanking over how awesome and superior dragon Cytrans are, with no efforts made to conceal the author's misanthropy or sense of entitlement.

🍆

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Between that, SEX BROOD, and Roosh's Bang series, I feel like you guys could do a pretty strong episode just based around readings from the idiots of previous episodes.

Cyberventurer

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Ugh, that story.  Most of it was just embarrassingly funny to skim through but I remember some point near the end he writes about how his cyberdragon body malfunctions and forces him to rape his boyfriend and it literally destroys the boyfriend's robovagina.  And then his way of trying to make it up to him is by giving himself a vagina as punishment, which he then masturbates with and is in awe at how his boyfriend could ever hate it.  I'm never going to forget that horrible thing.

Real goddamn romantic, that's for sure.

JamEngulfer

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Ugh, that story.  Most of it was just embarrassingly funny to skim through but I remember some point near the end he writes about how his cyberdragon body malfunctions and forces him to rape his boyfriend and it literally destroys the boyfriend's robovagina.  And then his way of trying to make it up to him is by giving himself a vagina as punishment, which he then masturbates with and is in awe at how his boyfriend could ever hate it.  I'm never going to forget that horrible thing.

Real goddamn romantic, that's for sure.
Cyberventurer, June 12, 2014, 10:58:31 am

What the actual fuck? Why would anyone actually get off to that?

Cyberventurer

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I forgot to mention that not only was the main character a self-insert of the site owner (which shouldn't surprise anyone), but he also inserted his internet boyfriend into the role as well.  Taygon lovingly wrote about how his character raped the character portraying his actual boyfriend, while simultaneously trying to frame himself as the real victim because he literally could not control his body.

And yeah, the hermaphrodite thing was his way of trying to reconcile that he was e-dating another man while not wanting to be gay.  As long as A penis interacted with A vagina, it didn't matter who owned what as long as both penises weren't used at the same time.  It's not gay that way, you see.

Lemon

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Between that, SEX BROOD, and Roosh's Bang series, I feel like you guys could do a pretty strong episode just based around readings from the idiots of previous episodes.
Garbage Dacey, June 11, 2014, 01:48:56 am
I'm into the idea as long as I don't have to read fucking Roosh again.