Episode 214: Jerks Off Of Jerking Off

[Agent (gobble, gobble) Coop]

P.M.O. Style is the best Method Man song

E: and a song for the guy in this episode who was afflicted with Porn Gremlins

[moooo566 (taylor's version)]

I was really into reddit four or five years ago, I think around when no-fap started to take off. As I understood it, it was a support group for actual porn/masturbation addicts, the ones who were losing relationships because it was fucking up their sex drive and losing their jobs because they kept jerking off in the stockroom. Because the internet in general and reddit in particular really like small optimistic soundbites, I guess the message warped into "not masturbating makes you a better man!"

There's a reasonable idea somewhere at the core, but of course once you start talking to them and joining in with their shit, it gets extra culty and delusional. That's what I really don't get. I can see someone reading about how someone's life improved when they started watching less porn, and maybe decides not to jerk it for a week or two, but how do they not start reading these posts and realise that's not what it's really about?

edit: Also, in regard to the slightly different scores, reddit fuzzes displayed votes a little. I don't really get how it works, but apparently hiding the exact score is useful to prevent spammers and vote manipulators, because their fake internet score system is sacred.

[Cleretic]

I was really into reddit four or five years ago, I think around when no-fap started to take off. As I understood it, it was a support group for actual porn/masturbation addicts, the ones who were losing relationships because it was fucking up their sex drive and losing their jobs because they kept jerking off in the stockroom. Because the internet in general and reddit in particular really like small optimistic soundbites, I guess the message warped into "not masturbating makes you a better man!"

That's what kind of struck me through all this. There's a couple people in there that really need this, but not because it turns them into an almighty superman like they seem to think. But at some point I think it went through a weird mutation of the Tumblr thing, where the actual support structures of people with actual problems got taken over by idiots with no actual problems, but instead of the Tumblr case of pretending to be more broken than they are it's Reddit's style of deciding that this will make them even better.

Which is... better, arguably? It speaks to better self-confidence, at least. Although I'd argue the Tumblr brand of it comes largely from younger people desperately trying to parse not fitting into what society tells them is normal, while Reddit is generally directed by a misplaced sense of grandeur. Normal trying to see themselves as lesser, rather than normal trying to see themselves as greater.

[Fanzay]

I was really into reddit four or five years ago, I think around when no-fap started to take off. As I understood it, it was a support group for actual porn/masturbation addicts, the ones who were losing relationships because it was fucking up their sex drive and losing their jobs because they kept jerking off in the stockroom. Because the internet in general and reddit in particular really like small optimistic soundbites, I guess the message warped into "not masturbating makes you a better man!"

There's a reasonable idea somewhere at the core, but of course once you start talking to them and joining in with their shit, it gets extra culty and delusional. That's what I really don't get. I can see someone reading about how someone's life improved when they started watching less porn, and maybe decides not to jerk it for a week or two, but how do they not start reading these posts and realise that's not what it's really about?

edit: Also, in regard to the slightly different scores, reddit fuzzes displayed votes a little. I don't really get how it works, but apparently hiding the exact score is useful to prevent spammers and vote manipulators, because their fake internet score system is sacred.

Yeah, it was (super emphasis on was) an idea where some people wanted to try to shift away from masturbating too much (however much too much is, is left up to your imagination, but it was perceived by early nofap-doods as a problem) in order to try to feel better about themselves. But this is the internet, so they became crazy idiots who believe their sacred essence should stay inside their bodies, and that ejaculating actually burns away your testosterone and other insane things.

[KingKalamari]

Ejaculation Sensation has a twelve minute guitar solo undercut by Ike Willis talking like King-Fish.

[EYE OF ZA]

I was impressed but not surprised how much crossover this had with shit like ballbusting or the big penis support forums but I suppose it's kind of inevitable, It's just another iteration of the internet phenomena of guys obsessing over their dicks.

[GirlKisser420]

There actually is a thing where they don't fuck. They call it hard mode.

[Chaymie]

No one tell them the episode has a ~life girl~

[Sherman Tank]

Christ All-fucking-mighty.

Oh, and as far as Unwanted Tag Suggestions go, how about adding "no homo"?

[Cleretic]

There actually is a thing where they don't fuck. They call it hard mode.

What's the point, then? You're... preserving your testosterone, to make yourself more sexually capable and desirable, by not having sex?

That's like Reddit deliberately fuzzing their ratings system to preserve the sanctity of their ratings system.

[Chaymie]

The point is you can't struggle with premature ejaculation and awkwardness if you don't ejaculate or leave the house.

[Fanzay]

THAT'S NOT HOW TESTOSTERONE WORKS ARGH NHGA GAGAHSGJH FHAHGASFAKSJDALKSdjasdkfjlkajlkdflkasdfk

[Nickel_Nips]

Fine, I'll make the obvious joke:

[Fanzay]

Also uhh, even if you did "lose out" on a meaningful amount of testosterone through ejaculate, you'd lose it anyway, given the nightly emissions you have when you don't masturbate so you're fucked anyway

[EYE OF ZA]

It doesn't need any basis in reality it's just enlightenment through asceticism, except for these dudes it's sex power through boner issues