I want 7 hours of Kumquat screaming "YES HELLO?!?"
FattyBoBatty, June 14, 2015, 06:31:40 am
INT. OFFICE - DAY.
KUMQUATXOP is sitting at a desk. His hair is sticking straight up. There is an empty pot of coffee on his desk that is leaning against the world's biggest 'EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH' coffee cup. Smashed packages of Smarties surround his desk. He never blinks. His mouth is frozen in a rictus grin. There is a telltale pink dust around his nostrils. He involuntarily sniffs.
The PHONE rings. Like lightning, KUMQUATXOP puts the PHONE to his ear.
KUMQUATXOP: YES HELLO YES HI HOW CAN I HELP YOU?????
PHONE: Uh, yes... hello, we're with Mastercard, and I -
KUMQUATXOP: HI YES!! HELLO MASTERCARD HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?
PHONE: Yes, hello, good day --
KUMQUATXOP: YES, HELLO? HELLO! HELLO! HOW CAN I HELP YOU, HELLO!
PHONE: I just wanted to ask if your boss was -
KUMQUATXOP: HELLO, YES!
PHONE: We would like to discuss -
KUMQUATXOP: HELLO FOR THE FIRST HELLO! I DID NOT REMEMBER IF YOU SAID HELLO THE FIRST TIME I SAID HELLO, SO HELLO! WOULD THIS BE THE THIRD OR FOURTH HELLO???
PHONE: I'm... I'm sorry, are -
KUMQUATXOP: THERE IS NEVER A BAD TIME TO SAY HELLO! YES, HELLO?
PHONE: Uh... hello, I...
KUMQUATXOP: HELLO, HELLO! YES! HELLO! I AM HELLOING YOU!
PHONE: ...uh, I'm going to transfer you to my supervis - wait, okay. No. My supervisor is telling me to - I mean, he's on his lunch break.
KUMQUATXOP: HAVE A HELLO-FILLED DAY! HELLO! I MEAN GOODBYE!
KUMQUATXOP hangs up the PHONE.
A few minutes later, his BOSS leaves a Shiba Inu puppy on top of his desk.
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« Last Edit: June 14, 2015, 08:00:05 am by STOG »