Snakes In The Ball Pit => Yay, I get to talk about me! => This Is A Thing I Made => Topic started by: STOG on July 01, 2016, 11:15:11 pm
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: STOG on July 01, 2016, 11:15:11 pm
Hi, y'all! I just recently moved from El Paso, Texas to Minneapolis, Minnesota, and I am currently looking for work. And while I'm on that job hunt, I'm taking a bunch of measures to generate extra beer money to offset the crippling anxiety and depression that comes with it! And also doing things to keep me busy and awash in beer money.
This is one of those things:
For $5, I will record a speech of whatever you want in my Patented Drunk Voice (max 30 seconds) on Fiverr. (https://www.fiverr.com/sodaaccident/speak-words-you-write-in-a-drunk-voice) I have tiers for if you want to go beyond 30 seconds though!
Here is a link to my demo reel. (https://twitter.com/sodaaccident/status/749052703716802560)
HOWEVER: If you are a ballp.it member with a working account that can post in this forum, then as a way of saying Thank You for supporting The F Plus podcast, I will give you one for free. You won't even have to sign up for a Fiverr account - just post a message that is 30 seconds, and I'll have your audio for you to download sometime soon!
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: chai tea latte on July 02, 2016, 02:03:36 am
Get out of bed! You need to get to work! I am STOG and I'm from the future!
(laser gun noises)
STOG EDIT: For you! (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-LaeLQkg4xnNlpiUDJzRTZDaFE/view?usp=sharing)
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Agent (gobble, gobble) Coop on July 02, 2016, 07:57:52 am
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf so just let me introduce myself My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty. Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.
STOG EDIT: Here's your file! (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-LaeLQkg4xnLUFGS1pwWm9fbVU/view?usp=sharing)
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Ambious on July 02, 2016, 11:58:46 am
"Yes, hello!" except in Hebrew ("Ken, Shalom!").
STOG EDIT: I might have fucked up the pronounciation, but I gave it my best shot! (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-LaeLQkg4xnMlNDdEd4UzlndTQ/view?usp=sharing)
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Chaymie on July 02, 2016, 03:34:53 pm
Stog how much for 1200 words?
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: STOG on July 02, 2016, 03:45:17 pm
If you're serious, shoot me a message in private and I will get back to you.
If you're not, probably a million dollars.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Agent (gobble, gobble) Coop on July 02, 2016, 04:32:29 pm
Bless you stog. Bless you
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Ambious on July 02, 2016, 04:42:04 pm
"Yes, hello!" except in Hebrew ("Ken, Shalom!").
STOG EDIT: I might have fucked up the pronounciation, but I gave it my best shot! (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-LaeLQkg4xnMlNDdEd4UzlndTQ/view?usp=sharing) Ambious, July 02, 2016, 11:58:46 am
Nah it's perfect, thanks stogman!
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Chaymie on July 02, 2016, 05:56:15 pm
Message sent. Hopefully we can work out a deal because I think you're probably the perfect orator for it, but if we can't figure something out, maybe a free ballp.it VIP reading of:
"Enough with this Turbo Man! I have had it up to here with this Turbo Man! If there's anybody I don't want advice from right now, it's Turbo Man!"
STOG EDIT: Done with the wrong inflection, but here you go! (https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-LaeLQkg4xnR3VsLVdKX20wYVE)
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: RedMinjo on July 02, 2016, 06:32:51 pm
I'd kind of like the contents of this tweet, unless you can find a different one linked from @e_hentai_txt you want to read more. The tweet's mostly fine but the twitter is less than 100% safe for work, by the way.
STOG EDIT: This one is great. Here you go! (https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-LaeLQkg4xnSG8tS2NuY0d1bm8)
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Positronic on July 02, 2016, 07:25:49 pm
So I wrote some Hamtaro fanfiction when I was in fifth grade:
"She tied me to a machine, with the hamster on the other side. She put the hamsters genes in me, so I could turn into a hamster whenever I want."
STOG EDIT: You should release this, reading this was especially fun. Here you go! (https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-LaeLQkg4xnUnVUYmVWcHZUa1U)
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: STOG on July 03, 2016, 11:29:37 pm
Check your Christmas stockings.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Chaymie on July 04, 2016, 01:20:40 am
Drink up, stog!
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Positronic on July 04, 2016, 06:44:15 am
If I could bulb it, I would. That was incredible!
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Zekka on July 04, 2016, 02:40:29 pm
Welcome to your breakout hiphop role. (http://clyp.it/p1h01yq5?token=b49b7a64ca5d04a6ecaa8cc214c124f8)
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Chaymie on July 05, 2016, 01:13:30 am
Stog, you absolutely nailed it. Your delivery on both jokes was amazing, but oh my god, you completely pulled the Donald Trump joke off.
You even picked up on the part where the word "peanuts" shows up in a rigid and repetitive structure, and give a little robotic reading of the word.
It was absurdist dry humor brought to life. Thank you so much.
Honestly, I felt pretty bad about all the fiverr issues I was having, but you pulled that joke off so well, I feel like I owe you.
I guess next time there's a "stog reads for beer," I'll have to come up with another submission.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: STOG on July 05, 2016, 10:57:15 am
Stog, you absolutely nailed it. Your delivery on both jokes was amazing, but oh my god, you completely pulled the Donald Trump joke off.
You even picked up on the part where the word "peanuts" shows up in a rigid and repetitive structure, and give a little robotic reading of the word.
It was absurdist dry humor brought to life. Thank you so much.
Honestly, I felt pretty bad about all the fiverr issues I was having, but you pulled that joke off so well, I feel like I owe you.
I guess next time there's a "stog reads for beer," I'll have to come up with another submission. Chaymie, July 05, 2016, 01:13:30 am
Aw, thank you! I'm glad I could make all of your dreams come true.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: STOG on July 05, 2016, 12:33:57 pm
So I thought about my sales pitch and I realized that maybe it's kind of a bad move to charge $5 for 15 seconds of audio. I originally set this price because my best work is through short audio works, but asking for that amount of scratch is kind of a robbery.
So my new terms are: 30 seconds, as many words as you can fit in for $5. (70 words is a good guideline). Tiers are also updated to reflect the new pricing scheme.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Chaymie on July 05, 2016, 09:30:49 pm
Stog is it okay if I post a link to my Drive copies here?
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: STOG on July 05, 2016, 09:42:22 pm
Not even the joke's author can differentiate between Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman. (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BznK70lNgGQVbGhGaHNNT1g3THc/view?usp=drivesdk)
Give stog beer money. The man has earned it.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: eldritchhat on July 06, 2016, 01:33:10 pm
If you're still doing free readings, can you sing (or at least read) this in your best french accent:
C'est la lutte finale Groupons-nous, et demain L'Internationale Sera le genre humain
I will make this into my ringtone
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: STOG on July 06, 2016, 05:52:18 pm
If you're still doing free readings, can you sing (or at least read) this in your best french accent:
C'est la lutte finale Groupons-nous, et demain L'Internationale Sera le genre humain
I am going to tell you ahead of time that it will not be a good French accent. STOG, July 06, 2016, 05:52:18 pm
That's the point STOG, if you had a good one, then I would not want it eldritchhat, July 06, 2016, 06:47:07 pm
I probably just said a swear in French, for all I know (https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-LaeLQkg4xnRjFqMllJUDlrSWc)
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Bodark on July 06, 2016, 09:08:04 pm
That's the point STOG, if you had a good one, then I would not want it eldritchhat, July 06, 2016, 06:47:07 pm
I probably just said a swear in French, for all I know (https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-LaeLQkg4xnRjFqMllJUDlrSWc) STOG, July 06, 2016, 07:48:26 pm
Knowing eldritchhat, it's more likely that you just read the first line of the French Communist Party manifesto
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: eldritchhat on July 06, 2016, 09:18:06 pm
That's the point STOG, if you had a good one, then I would not want it eldritchhat, July 06, 2016, 06:47:07 pm
I probably just said a swear in French, for all I know (https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-LaeLQkg4xnRjFqMllJUDlrSWc) STOG, July 06, 2016, 07:48:26 pm
Knowing eldritchhat, it's more likely that you just read the first line of the French Communist Party manifesto Bodark, July 06, 2016, 09:08:04 pm
Close, it's the refrain from a famous song out of the french commune, and it is about the rallying of workers around the world. (https://www.marxists.org/history/ussr/sounds/lyrics/international.htm)
Okay, now my phone's all decked out: STOG singing Party! as my ringtone, STOG singing L'International as my texttone.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: STOG on July 14, 2016, 08:52:10 pm
SO: Fiverr does a thing that allows customers to put previous orders on my portfolio page for everyone to listen to, which means you can swing by and listen to what I've done recently.
SUCH AS:
- A reading of Doom: Repercussions of Evil - 30 seconds of freestyle Juggalo rap - One Jaden Smith tweet reading - A ringtone
AGAIN, thank you all so much for your orders, they're really fun and easy to do and I'm a stronger audio wizard because of them.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: mapofthecat on July 14, 2016, 10:52:02 pm
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Zekka on July 14, 2016, 11:58:25 pm
STOG has rapidly become my default source for background vocals:
While I still have time, think I can get you to say "I'll speak French between your legs... HONHONHON SACREBLEU BAGUETTE!"? Quark-Antiquark, August 10, 2016, 10:12:19 am
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR
BECAUSE YOU
JUST
MIGHT
GET IT (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-LaeLQkg4xnVXloUlB2RkhBYzg/view?usp=sharing)
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Quark-Antiquark on August 10, 2016, 11:59:50 pm
So, bad news: I GOT A JOB AND I START THIS FRIDAY.
And I've also decided that Fiverr sucks for freelancing and it can basically eat my ass.
SO THAT MEANS: I'm closing my Fiverr store and fulfilling all orders before midnight on Thursday Central Time.
While I still have time, think I can get you to say "I'll speak French between your legs... HONHONHON SACREBLEU BAGUETTE!"? Quark-Antiquark, August 10, 2016, 10:12:19 am
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR
BECAUSE YOU
JUST
MIGHT
GET IT (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-LaeLQkg4xnVXloUlB2RkhBYzg/view?usp=sharing) STOG, August 10, 2016, 11:48:48 pm
This is even better than I thought it would be!
I will admit that now I can't stop wondering what it would take for Bunnybread to say it, though.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: STOG on August 13, 2016, 12:19:55 am
THREAD'S OVER.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Ashto on August 13, 2016, 07:52:30 am
Aww, damn. Guess I'll just squat this thread and wait for the ARG to start up in about six month's time. Ashto, August 13, 2016, 07:52:30 am
Naw man, this thread was the ARG the whole time. There's information hidden in STOG's voice files after the audio stops playing. If we all collect the bits of data together, it'll reveal a grainy photograph of a safety deposit box, a locker combination, and a set of GPS coordinates, leading us on a fantastic chase through the underbelly of modern society and the highest seats of power in the world.
The endpoint?
STOG Fractions 2.
Title: For $5, I will say whatever you want in a drunk voice.
Post by: Zekka on August 22, 2016, 12:03:24 pm
Aww, damn. Guess I'll just squat this thread and wait for the ARG to start up in about six month's time. Ashto, August 13, 2016, 07:52:30 am
Naw man, this thread was the ARG the whole time. There's information hidden in STOG's voice files after the audio stops playing. If we all collect the bits of data together, it'll reveal a grainy photograph of a safety deposit box, a locker combination, and a set of GPS coordinates, leading us on a fantastic chase through the underbelly of modern society and the highest seats of power in the world.
Aww, damn. Guess I'll just squat this thread and wait for the ARG to start up in about six month's time. Ashto, August 13, 2016, 07:52:30 am
Naw man, this thread was the ARG the whole time. There's information hidden in STOG's voice files after the audio stops playing. If we all collect the bits of data together, it'll reveal a grainy photograph of a safety deposit box, a locker combination, and a set of GPS coordinates, leading us on a fantastic chase through the underbelly of modern society and the highest seats of power in the world.