Apparently this is a thing? I don't understand it. I'm a jealous bastard as it is, I don't need any competition. Another thing is the country mentality in me. If my younger sister told me that her boyfriend asked for an open relationship/polyamory, me and my dad would pack up and beat the shit out of this dude. Some people, however, love it and think it's the only way to treat your partner like an adult. What do you think? Is it good, bad or in between? Why would someone agree to it?
Smoking Crow, May 11, 2014, 09:22:35 pm
That's great for you? Maybe not so great for your sister, if she, you know, has a different perspective on how relationships might work then you, though. I mean, you saying that you'd beat up someone who suggested an alternative relationship structure makes me feel really uncomfortable, and I'm not even in a poly relationship (my partner and I both have too many relationship issues and no motivation to try it out.)
In my experience people who put in the work to make a poly thing work out are people who don't necessarily think the two-person structure is the only right way to have a relationship, enjoy being sexual and romantic with multiple people, and care enough about their partners to have multiple verbal, intense discussions to make sure that everyone in the relationship is getting out of it what they want to get out of it. Obviously, it doesn't always work and I've seen a ton of poly relationships crash and burn for different reasons-- but honestly it's about the same spread of issues I see in monogamous relationships.
If you're a jealous person, you don't have to be in a polyamourous relationship, but don't project your own personal hangups about relationships on everyone. And ffs, don'ts threaten violence over non-normative relationships, especially ones you're not in. I don't know your sister, and I'm sure she's not interested in a poly relationship, but acting super-macho and patriarchal as though she can't make up her own mind about a relationship that she wants to have definitely pings me in the not-good-situations-friends-have-been-in place.