F Plus Quotes Thread

[Fatty Bo Batty]

Robin Hood has returned from the assholes! *brrrrRRRRRRR*

[Liatai]

"Oh take me now! Jimmyfranks me with your mighty nunchucks!"

(I saw an advertisement with a guy in a hotdog costume posed next to a lady in a typical "sexy" Halloween costume, and this quote from the F Plus Live Dirty Talk Mad Lib would not leave my head. XD)

[Yavuz]

Lemon: Everybody ask, How important big dick? Experiment please, everybody. Number one. Insert pencil into anus. Number two, insert finger into anus.
Boots: Wait, should I take the pencil out first?
Lemon: Nooope, that would've been an instruction, I would've had at least 1b. Alright, insert finger into anus. Number three, insert small carro into anus. Number four, isert bigg carrot into anus.
Acier: Oh no.
Lemon: Number five, insert cucumber into anus. NOW VOTE PLEASE!
[laughter and crosstalk]
Acier: None of this feels good. By the time I got to the big carrot, I'd just poked the pencil through my intestines. Awww.

(#141)

[positive stress]

Portaxx: Caveman SpongeBob used to plank to the Harlem Shake, then he took an arrow to the knee!

Lemon: FUCK YOU

Portaxx: But that's none of my business.

[Yavuz]

Victor Laszlo: How do you make a whore moan?
Nutshell Gulag: You tell her a joke like that.

[Eider Duck]

"I can't find my prostate! AAAAHRAAAAAAAGH!"

[Yavuz]

JUSTIN BUTTFUCK

[Carbon]

Frank West: ^{He's talking about dickgirlssssss.}

[Yavuz]

Portaxx: Oh, I'm so glad to be Mrs. ownage360.

(#52)

[Shigan]

Kumquat: "Dude! Just be ready for the chick that kicks your ass for cumming on her shoe! Or worse yet, her bf!"
John: She's gonna be pretty mad if you cum on her bf. "Gary!"
Boots: "Just sniffin' Gary. Whooah, the smell of Gary's so good! I never thought I'd do this but I'd put my dick in Gary!"
John: "It was like a fleshlight but with Gary."
Lemon: Aahh. Okay okay okay--
John: "After 12:30 I decided I should put Gary back."

[SirSlarty]

Lemon: Hey FPlus. Uh, Have you ever thought about what our purpose is in this world?
Kumquatxop: Nope.

[Yavuz]

Lemon: He made you in his own image, but all he ever watches is What the Bleep Do We Know!?

[Muffinator]

"Pablo Naruto" from the Sylvia Plath episode still cracks me up. Checking the doc, the person actually does seem to think Neruda is called 'Nerudo'.

[Mique]

Boots: Stop snapping you motherfuckers!
-F Plus Live 5

[positive stress]

Lemon: What are "Hoops" in Canada?

Boots: They're just like little crackers that are circle-shaped.

John: So Americans, then?

Quake 3 announcer: IMPRESSIVE.

Quake 3 announcer: YOU HAVE TAKEN THE LEAD.