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Projects => The F Plus => Topic started by: Lemon on March 31, 2013, 09:06:59 pm
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For over a hundred years, the character of Sherlock Holmes has been an inescapable touchstone of Western Culture. The subject of sixty stories written by Arthur Conan Doyle has led to more radio, television film and stage adaptations than even Wikipedia would care to document, and you might say that since those original stories were published, these producers have been making fanfiction. However, it wasn't until the 2010 BBC series that the fanfiction became as creepy as it could be. This week, The F Plus finally figures out spooning.
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I am digging this release schedule.
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Portaxx's "asexual bars" crack just... my God. If there's ever a "greatest hits" collection from F+, that needs to be on there.
Alright, I'm writing this while listening, and the "Guycanthrope" pun made me grin.
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Huh, iTunes says this one was released on May 1 2013. So it's an FPlus episode FROM THE FUUUTURE!
I believe the insidious Professor Moriarty may be behind this...
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/4942c6a1f7ab70cb19c3495e6869051d/tumblr_mj6nzqyBdq1rwk79io1_1280.png)
Relevant.
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Huh, iTunes says this one was released on May 1 2013. So it's an FPlus episode FROM THE FUUUTURE!
I believe the insidious Professor Moriarty may be behind this...
KingKalamari, March 31, 2013, 10:02:14 pm
My plan is finally coming to fruition! With the spread of this podcast, Sherlock Holmes shall soon be remembered as nothing more than a confused virgin intent on dog buggery!
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Huh, iTunes says this one was released on May 1 2013. So it's an FPlus episode FROM THE FUUUTURE!
I believe the insidious Professor Moriarty may be behind this...
KingKalamari, March 31, 2013, 10:02:14 pm
My plan is finally coming to fruition! With the spread of this podcast, Sherlock Holmes shall soon be remembered as nothing more than a confused virgin intent on dog buggery!
Moriarty, March 31, 2013, 11:25:50 pm
That scoundrel just admitted to it. Someone get me the absurdity officers.
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My plan is finally coming to fruition! With the spread of this podcast, Sherlock Holmes shall soon be remembered as nothing more than a confused virgin intent on dog buggery!Moriarty, March 31, 2013, 11:25:50 pm
Wow, Professor Moriarty sure can play the long game, can't he?
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Huh, iTunes says this one was released on May 1 2013. So it's an FPlus episode FROM THE FUUUTURE!
I believe the insidious Professor Moriarty may be behind this...
KingKalamari, March 31, 2013, 10:02:14 pm
My plan is finally coming to fruition! With the spread of this podcast, Sherlock Holmes shall soon be remembered as nothing more than a confused virgin intent on dog buggery!
Moriarty, March 31, 2013, 11:25:50 pm
You forgot that this will probably make him even more popular on the Internet. Looks like your plan backfired.
PS: I'm working as hard as I can to catch up with Isfahan's post count, but he just has that hard edge military training provides. Before this episode I didn't even know you had to go through regular asshole inspections.
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Weird, I didn't think I was in this episode.
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PS: I'm working as hard as I can to catch up with Isfahan's post count, but he just has that hard edge military training provides. Before this episode I didn't even know you had to go through regular asshole inspections.montrith, April 01, 2013, 01:10:56 am
Yep, twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays, the ol' bend-and-pretend.
They were pretty monster cock about them.
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jesus christ i'm unable to handle the muppetvoice help
help it's too good
help i hate this fandom but love this show
this episode is perfect help
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The fucking glory hole fanfiction was like some kind of perverse Cinderella story with cocks.
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I am surprised that nobody made a "This is a three cock problem" joke when they were talking about Sherlock relaxing by getting face-fucked.
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I am surprised that nobody made a "This is a three cock problem" joke when they were talking about Sherlock relaxing by getting face-fucked.
Chaz GELF, April 01, 2013, 03:25:22 pm
"Three-prick problem" scans better oh god I've become that kind of nerd
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Thank you guys. My girlfriend is a Sherlock fan fic writer on Tumblr, and it kinda drives me up the wall, so I needed this.
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PS: I'm working as hard as I can to catch up with Isfahan's post count, but he just has that hard edge military training provides. Before this episode I didn't even know you had to go through regular asshole inspections.montrith, April 01, 2013, 01:10:56 am
Yep, twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays, the ol' bend-and-pretend.
They were pretty monster cock about them.
Isfahan, April 01, 2013, 10:14:34 am
~Beware the Green Weenie~
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Thank you guys. My girlfriend is a Sherlock fan fic writer on Tumblr, and it kinda drives me up the wall, so I needed this.
Neal, April 01, 2013, 04:29:24 pm
Oh god, tumblr is even worse than livejournal....
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Thank you guys. My girlfriend is a Sherlock fan fic writer on Tumblr, and it kinda drives me up the wall, so I needed this.Neal, April 01, 2013, 04:29:24 pm
Dish.
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I would just like to say that "Fluffy Aftercare" is my new porn name.
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No F Plus episode has made me queasy like the asexual cuddleporn portion of this one. Good freaking lord, how is that possible?
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This is only tangentally related to the episode but am I the only one who finds the Sherlock theme eerily similar to Ecstacy of Gold? Honest to dog I thought that was the intro song for a good three seconds.
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No F Plus episode has made me queasy like the asexual cuddleporn portion of this one. Good freaking lord, how is that possible?
Juice Unlimited, April 02, 2013, 09:56:11 pm
I have no fucking clue. I actually had to stop listening to the episode because it made me that intensely uncomfortable. I made it through the adult babies and bug-fucking episodes, I don't know how I couldn't make it through this one.
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Are there people who get payed writing asexual cuddling? Holy shit I would write this crap all day if I could get payed min wage for it.
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No F Plus episode has made me queasy like the asexual cuddleporn portion of this one. Good freaking lord, how is that possible?
Juice Unlimited, April 02, 2013, 09:56:11 pm
I have no fucking clue. I actually had to stop listening to the episode because it made me that intensely uncomfortable. I made it through the adult babies and bug-fucking episodes, I don't know how I couldn't make it through this one.
Clockderp, April 03, 2013, 08:52:16 am
My guess is it's because Outlawroad is very clearly fetishizing asexuality. It's like when furries and other weirdos draw page after page of safe-for-work porn and play innocent the whole time. "No, I just think balloons are super cute!" "Nah man I'm merely INTRIGUED by 50-foot-tall women!" "I just draw fat sheep as a joke!" They know they're beating off, YOU know they're beating off, yet they put everyone in this situation where we have to pretend like a person has a gallery full of boytaurs for fun or some shit. It just gives everything a creepy undercurrent.
So yes, calling it right now: I predict it will some day be revealed that Outlawroad is not truly asexual, but is so insanely repressed that she has come to fetishize asexuality and regularly masturbates to the idea. And then some day she will have a very sexual relationship built around how hot and sexy and asexual it all is, and the resulting paradox will tear reality asunder.
... the F+ Book of Revelations is really weird.
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i wonder if she'll shout BOOP BEEP during sex
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i wonder if she'll shout BOOP BEEP during sex
icarus, April 03, 2013, 09:23:45 am
Nah, it'd be more like "NO HETERO! ITS NOT LIKE IM... ATTRACTED TO YOU OR ANYTHING, BAKA!"
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My guess is it's because Outlawroad is very clearly fetishizing asexuality. It's like when furries and other weirdos draw page after page of safe-for-work porn and play innocent the whole time. "No, I just think balloons are super cute!" "Nah man I'm merely INTRIGUED by 50-foot-tall women!" "I just draw fat sheep as a joke!" They know they're beating off, YOU know they're beating off, yet they put everyone in this situation where we have to pretend like a person has a gallery full of boytaurs for fun or some shit. It just gives everything a creepy undercurrent.
So yes, calling it right now: I predict it will some day be revealed that Outlawroad is not truly asexual, but is so insanely repressed that she has come to fetishize asexuality and regularly masturbates to the idea. And then some day she will have a very sexual relationship built around how hot and sexy and asexual it all is, and the resulting paradox will tear reality asunder.
... the F+ Book of Revelations is really weird.
portaxx, April 03, 2013, 09:20:26 am
That would actually be way, way healthier than what she's claiming to want. According to her, she could potentially see herself having sex with someone, but that person would have to be a stranger or a prostitute (http://outlawroad.tumblr.com/post/6928162845/if-i-ever-decide-to-experiment-with-sex). So she's sort of okay with sex (in theory), it's just the sexual relationship part that bothers her, apparently.
Though, if you mean a relationship where they do nothing but grope each other cuddle for hours, after which she leaves to get off by herself while pretending the two things are completely unrelated, then yeah, that could totally happen.
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My guess is it's because Outlawroad is very clearly fetishizing asexuality. It's like when furries and other weirdos draw page after page of safe-for-work porn and play innocent the whole time. "No, I just think balloons are super cute!" "Nah man I'm merely INTRIGUED by 50-foot-tall women!" "I just draw fat sheep as a joke!" They know they're beating off, YOU know they're beating off, yet they put everyone in this situation where we have to pretend like a person has a gallery full of boytaurs for fun or some shit. It just gives everything a creepy undercurrent.
So yes, calling it right now: I predict it will some day be revealed that Outlawroad is not truly asexual, but is so insanely repressed that she has come to fetishize asexuality and regularly masturbates to the idea. And then some day she will have a very sexual relationship built around how hot and sexy and asexual it all is, and the resulting paradox will tear reality asunder.
... the F+ Book of Revelations is really weird.
portaxx, April 03, 2013, 09:20:26 am
That would actually be way, way healthier than what she's claiming to want. According to her, she could potentially see herself having sex with someone, but that person would have to be a stranger or a prostitute (http://outlawroad.tumblr.com/post/6928162845/if-i-ever-decide-to-experiment-with-sex). So she's sort of okay with sex (in theory), it's just the sexual relationship part that bothers her, apparently.
Though, if you mean a relationship where they do nothing but grope each other cuddle for hours, after which she leaves to get off by herself while pretending the two things are completely unrelated, then yeah, that could totally happen.
Moriarty, April 03, 2013, 10:45:19 am
Yeah the latter. I think what would happen is she and her partner would cuddle and make a big show of how non-sexual and NON-ROMANTIC it all is, then she'd run off to masturbate to it, not daring to let her partner know that she even has any sexual feelings. I'm guessing that in her ideal scenario, her partner essentially is a stranger. It wouldn't be too unusual for sad nerds, really. I've seen tons of nerd relationships wherein the two parties never fucking discuss anything important or personal, and they just each silently sit on their own individual computers every evening. Couples who know more about each other's favorite webcomics than, say, their sexual interests. Couples who say "lol i dunno"... and mean it... when asked anything personal about their partner. So hell, she might actually get what she wants after all. And it'll be an atomic level of unhealthy!
... y-YAY?
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I really wasn't expecting an episode about Sherlock Holmes asexual slash fiction to contain such graphic descriptions of bestiality. That was most unpleasant. :(
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that's the omegaverse. apparently it spans many fandoms, and is always terrible.
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that's the omegaverse. apparently it spans many fandoms, and is always terrible.
icarus, April 03, 2013, 07:30:55 pm
A universal solvent for awfulness.
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the saddest thing
portaxx, April 03, 2013, 07:07:11 pm
So essentially she's what so many tumblr asexuals condemn pretty much all "sexual"/"romantic" people as being: someone who disdains real intimacy in favor of immediate gratification of some shallow need.
It's like rain on your aromantic life prioritization commitment ceremony cosplay party day.
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that's the omegaverse. apparently it spans many fandoms, and is always terrible.icarus, April 03, 2013, 07:30:55 pm
Thanks, Internet, for dutifully explaining (http://fanlore.org/wiki/Alpha/Beta/Omega) this kink sub-genre that is a subset of another kink sub-genre that is a subset of awful fan fiction.
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Dish.
Isfahan, April 02, 2013, 04:53:11 am
I'm afraid that I don't have anything that would be particularly interesting given the ground y'all covered in the episode. The gang she rolls with is relatively benign compared to the dog cock stuff.
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Was the one about "John has a gf, but Sherlock emotionally berates him into staying at their place because EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS" (roughly paraphrased) written by Outlawroad? Because that sounds exactly like her post about the durn stupid sexual guy who refused to have a committed no-romance romance with her. Except it ends with that creepy ending of John accepting his fate instead of the guy going "fuck this, you crazy" and peacing out forever.
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Was the one about "John has a gf, but Sherlock emotionally berates him into staying at their place because EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS" (roughly paraphrased) written by Outlawroad? Because that sounds exactly like her post about the durn stupid sexual guy who refused to have a committed no-romance romance with her. Except it ends with that creepy ending of John accepting his fate instead of the guy going "fuck this, you crazy" and peacing out forever.
Dacey Mormont, April 08, 2013, 01:53:14 am
I'd like to point out that, as far as I know, the person Outlawroad tried to trap in a sexless nerd pseudo-marriage was a woman. She has no issues with her sexuality, none at all.
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Was the one about "John has a gf, but Sherlock emotionally berates him into staying at their place because EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS" (roughly paraphrased) written by Outlawroad? Because that sounds exactly like her post about the durn stupid sexual guy who refused to have a committed no-romance romance with her. Except it ends with that creepy ending of John accepting his fate instead of the guy going "fuck this, you crazy" and peacing out forever.
Dacey Mormont, April 08, 2013, 01:53:14 am
I'd like to point out that, as far as I know, the person Outlawroad tried to trap in a sexless nerd pseudo-marriage was a woman. She has no issues with her sexuality, none at all.
Juice Unlimited, April 08, 2013, 09:00:30 am
Yeah, the original rant used "they," presumably for the sake of privacy. But I guess Outlawroad's rage got so out of hand that she figured "fuck it" and started saying "she" in later posts.
As for whether or not that particular fanfic was hers, I'm not sure since I didn't put together the doc, but god it could be. She has a ton of Sherlock fanfiction on Archive Of Our Own so it wouldn't really surprise me. All of it is pretty goddamned awful.
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Yeah, the original rant used "they," presumably for the sake of privacy. But I guess Outlawroad's rage got so out of hand that she figured "fuck it" and started saying "she" in later posts.
portaxx, April 08, 2013, 10:45:30 am
"Attracted to girls? Haha. Ha. No! I'm not attracted to anyone at all! I just wanna be friends! Friends forever! Forever and ever! Just you and me, cuddling on the couch for the rest of our lives! What? Hey! What are you doing with that man? SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
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I just now noticed this, but the date for this episode is a month off. It says it was released in may.
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I guess I assumed outlawroad's object of non-affection was male, because she's so into that weird "I want to have a male/male relationship but without the gay stuff" thing.
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I guess I assumed outlawroad's object of non-affection was male, because she's so into that weird "I want to have a male/male relationship but without the gay stuff" thing.
Dacey Mormont, April 09, 2013, 05:40:01 pm
Cock rubbin'?
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I guess I assumed outlawroad's object of non-affection was male, because she's so into that weird "I want to have a male/male relationship but without the gay stuff" thing.
Dacey Mormont, April 09, 2013, 05:40:01 pm
Cock rubbin'?
Juice Unlimited, April 09, 2013, 06:43:43 pm
Cock rubbing— it's totally heterosexual!
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"I just draw fat sheep as a joke!"portaxx, April 03, 2013, 09:20:26 am
Anyone drawing fat sheep as a joke is covering for something. Anyone drawing fat sheep because it is ridiculously easy and ridiculously cute gets a pass.
(http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0060/6692/products/buttonset7_1024x1024.png?345)
sheep are so fucking adorable and they make such cute sounds I want to hug them forever help
More on-topic, I asked my sister about the Sherlock fandom, since she's loved Sherlock since back when it was a book or something, and she says the dogcock extension actually makes sense. I mean, not in a sane way, but in a "here's a specific method in which this fandom is fucked up" way. Apparently Sherlock fans have super-rigid views on gender roles, especially stereotypical seme/uke relationships, so she says that the Omegaverse and its insane alpha/beta shit is like home to them. How much more fucked is it that the dog-cock-MPreg stuff is secondary to the unhealthy relationships?
As an aside, I wasn't really interested in the show until this ep, but now I want to start watching it. It sounds really interesting, and if I let a horrible fanbase ruin my fandoms, I wouldn't have any fandoms. I would almost say Earthbound/Mother, but it's been proven that not even THAT is safe.
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I vouch for BBC Sherlock. It's funny and entertaining, especially if you're like me and you try to figure out the plot before the characters do. As long as you stay away from the fandom I think you'll be fine. The supposed subtext between Sherlock and Watson is really more lampshading the fact that people are getting ideas about them. Otherwise, they function as an amusingly dysfunctional buddy cop duo.
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I watched the first episode and I like it a lot! There's certainly a lot there for the slashers to work with, which I honestly think beats the alternative in a fandom--better to have some reason to what people are gonna do anyway than have them invent their own. Moffat knows who he's pitching to.
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Semi-related but related to the relative batshit-ness of Sherlocks:
I follow the guy on tumblr who made this text post which ended up accumulating over 9000 notes:
why do people complain about a woman playing watson on elementary when a terrifying alien plays sherlock in sherlock
and the responses from angry fans, holy shit. Calling him a piece of shit, saying how much things like that could hurt Cumberbatch's poor feelings (I'm pretty sure he can dry his tears with wads of bills if he felt the need), but this
this was the absolute best response
I might be reading in a bit much, but the Sherlock in the BBC series is probably the most obviously autistic Sherlock in modern remakes, at least. By describing him as an alien, you are only serving to dehumanized autistics and stigmatize behaviors that are typically related.
So, um, shove it up your butt.
jesus christ, tumblr
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Semi-related but related to the relative batshit-ness of Sherlocks:
I follow the guy on tumblr who made this text post which ended up accumulating over 9000 notes:
why do people complain about a woman playing watson on elementary when a terrifying alien plays sherlock in sherlock
and the responses from angry fans, holy shit. Calling him a piece of shit, saying how much things like that could hurt Cumberbatch's poor feelings (I'm pretty sure he can dry his tears with wads of bills if he felt the need), but this
this was the absolute best response
I might be reading in a bit much, but the Sherlock in the BBC series is probably the most obviously autistic Sherlock in modern remakes, at least. By describing him as an alien, you are only serving to dehumanized autistics and stigmatize behaviors that are typically related.
So, um, shove it up your butt.
jesus christ, tumblr
transatlanticalien, April 18, 2013, 03:00:20 am
The funny thing about that response is I'm 99% sure they were referring to his appearance, not his behavior, and the offended commenter completely missed the point. But now I'm really tempted to make some silly comment about Cucumberpatch and watch people lose their shit.
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Yeah yeah it was a joke about his appearance which got more than enough crazy responses from people who actually got it
but then this bizarre accusation of YOU HATE AUTISTIC PEOPLE just came completely out of left field
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Nothing say 'positive representation of an autistic' like the Queen Alien shooting up a wall in an apartment building because he's bored.
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Excuse me, he's not an alien. That is clearly someone fucking up the character generation for a High Elf in Oblivion.
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If tumblr was a Pokémon, its defining attack move would be "Accuse of Ableism".
Al, April 18, 2013, 09:38:32 am
Be realistic. If Tumblr was a Pokemon, it'd be a pair of Metapods Hardening at each other for all eternity.
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People, people. Isn't it obvious what Pokemon Tumblr is most like?
Magikarp used Rhetoric!
But nothing happened.
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oh nooooo
(http://i.imgur.com/6XP3Rqh.jpg)
oh noooooooo
(http://i.imgur.com/XsznZwj.jpg)
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oh dear
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Welp, color me terrified.
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Man, the last time I rolled over and Benedict Cumberbatch was lying next to me, it turned out to be a nightmare.
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Okay this has been bothering me for a while so I'll take this opportunity to ask WHO THE FUCK MAKES CUSTOM HUGPILLOWS
WHO
IS THERE A FUCKING ZAZZLE OPTION FOR THIS WHO THE FUCK IS PRINTING THESE
ETA: I want one printed with another pillow for maximum comfiness don't judge
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ETA: I want one printed with another pillow for maximum comfiness don't judge
Delcat, April 28, 2013, 10:39:06 pm
But will the pillow printed on the pillow be blushing, skimpily-dressed, looking at you with sultry eyes? That part is very important (apparently).
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No, fully dressed in a pillowcase. Naked pillows are all gross and sweaty.
...am...am I apillowsexual?
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Okay this has been bothering me for a while so I'll take this opportunity to ask WHO THE FUCK MAKES CUSTOM HUGPILLOWS
WHO
IS THERE A FUCKING ZAZZLE OPTION FOR THIS WHO THE FUCK IS PRINTING THESE
ETA: I want one printed with another pillow for maximum comfiness don't judge
Delcat, April 28, 2013, 10:39:06 pm
I know you can order them from some Korean company but I cant remember the name. I remember a while back some furry was making ones with fully explicit pinups of his characters and it was so creepy. In other news body pillows are the best thing ever.
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No, fully dressed in a pillowcase. Naked pillows are all gross and sweaty.
...am...am I apillowsexual?
Delcat, April 29, 2013, 12:04:14 am
No, I think that's when you don't use a pillow at all. Possibly you are demipillowsexual, aka you only sleep with pillows you've known for a long time and have a deep emotional connection with.
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No, fully dressed in a pillowcase. Naked pillows are all gross and sweaty.
...am...am I apillowsexual?
Delcat, April 29, 2013, 12:04:14 am
No, I think that's when you don't use a pillow at all. Possibly you are demipillowsexual, aka you only sleep with pillows you've known for a long time and have a deep emotional connection with.
montrith, April 29, 2013, 11:41:23 am
You beat me to the joke.
As for me I am in a strictly queerplatonic aromantic relationship with my pillow.
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I sleep with two or three pillows
I am pillowpoly
We're very happy with our arrangement
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I am only attracted to a pillow if the character's on the cover is super smart. I don't care about the gender, I am sapillowsexual (http://www.unwords.com/unword/sapiosexuality.html).
i am the lord of lame puns
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toanoradian wins, everyone go home.
I know you can order them from some Korean company but I cant remember the name.
Yossarian, April 29, 2013, 10:29:55 am
For some reason, that makes me feel a little better than the custom-made ones. I dunno why, maybe because they can apparently be mass-produced instead of artists gritting their teeth over hand-making horrifying commissions, maybe because I'm picturing a bunch of employees hanging around the shop and trading stories of how crazy their last print was.
The real question is, how much do those things cost? I saw some official hugpillows in an anime specialty shop once that were half my size and went for about $40 each (that concept was fun to explain to my mom, incidentally). That thing is literally six feet high and at least three across, and it's a one-shot order. We've got to be talking upwards of two hundred dollars, much more if the manufacturer decided to milk supply-and-demand for all it was worth.
My name is Del and I have a morbid hobby of finding out how much people spend on horrible shit online.
fursuits are FANTASTIC for this game
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(http://i.imgur.com/0njfoca.jpg)
For Toast.