New forum game: F Plus Association Football Congress!

[Cheapskate]

That’s right, another chance to become a character in a game I’m playing and let me entertain you with results! In this case, the game is Football Manager 22, and I’ve got two different ideas for how you could get involved:

1. We take over a real-life team, with forum members serving on the board of directors and as coaches, scouts, medics, and backroom staff.

2. I create a fictional league in which every forum member owns their own team.

In either event, I’d be able to stream some matches on Discord.

Which, if any, would you prefer?

[A Meat]

It has to be option number 1, with the members of ballpit serving as football congress (and staff)

[Dr. Buttplug]

Can you make a player after me? I was a pretty decent midfielder who was easily winded.

[moooo566 (taylor's version)]

I've never played a football manager but I'd guess that having one's own team is pretty intensive? Especially for people who don't know much about football I'm guessing it would be a lot.

I'd say option 1. I'll put myself forward as the backroom staff guy responsible for choosing shirt colours, and secondly I'd like to make chelsea red please.

[Cheapskate]

Looks like we’re all getting together to run a team! The current world of soccer-team ownership includes gamblers, match fixers, Russian oligarchs, Iranian front-men for Russian oligarchs, self-dealing sports agents, heroin traffickers, ex-Soviet warlords, the UAE, the Saudis, the Qataris, and Red Sox fans, so we’re hardly scandalous by comparison.

I know a guy who owes me a favor who knows a guy at a consulting firm who owes him a favor, and they identified seven teams of approximately equal stature (at least according to the FM22 database) that could use new ownership. They are:

F.C. Andorra (Spain)
MKS Cracovia (Poland)
Inverness Caledonian Thistle F.C. (Scotland)
Oxford United F.C. (England)
Palermo F.C. (Italy)
A.E. Rodos (Greece)
RoPS (Finland)

Our consultant prepared a slide deck with a summary of the teams and the challenges involved. Whichever team we pick will get a cash injection of 5,000 Euros per new director.

What I need from you:

1. The name by which you want to be known (if it’s really long, make it shorter);
2. Male or female pronouns;
3. The year of your birth;
4. Your nationality—you get a second nationality if your parent or grandparent was born in that country or if you lived there for at least five years as an adult (note that most dependent territories count as nations);
5. If you speak any languages other than those in your home country;
6. Any real-life teams or players you particularly like or dislike;
7. Three things about you that will make you a good part of this team;
8. One not-so-good thing about you that might make you a less good part of this team;
9. Whether you’d like to work in the coaching office, the scouting office, the medical team, or the front office;
10. Which of the seven teams listed above you think we should take charge of.

I’m happy to answer any questions.

Can you make a player after me? I was a pretty decent midfielder who was easily winded.

Player/Coach/Director didn’t seem to crash the game when I tested it! (Note that if you want to be a player, you don’t have the option of female pronouns—they’re saving that for a future version of the game which includes women’s teams.)

I'll put myself forward as the backroom staff guy responsible for choosing shirt colours

Just you wait…

[Salubrious Rex]

1. The name by which you want to be known (if it’s really long, make it shorter);
2. Male or female pronouns;
3. The year of your birth;
4. Your nationality—you get a second nationality if your parent or grandparent was born in that country or if you lived there for at least five years as an adult (note that most dependent territories count as nations);
5. If you speak any languages other than those in your home country;
6. Any real-life teams or players you particularly like or dislike;
7. Three things about you that will make you a good part of this team;
8. One not-so-good thing about you that might make you a less good part of this team;
9. Whether you’d like to work in the coaching office, the scouting office, the medical team, or the front office;
10. Which of the seven teams listed above you think we should take charge of.

Hey I've heard of sports, let's go!

1. Salubrious Rex
2. Male (he/him)
3. 1995
4. Australian
5. English only, I'm a monolingual schlub
6. The only team I know a damn thing about is The New Saints, because they changed their name to Total Network Solutions in a sponsorship deal that one time, so let's say I like them.
7. I have spirit, I'm happy to be here, and by being blind to football/sports stuff I am free of the influence of the politicking and seedy underbelly of the industry
8. I am blind to football/sports stuff and have never touched a ball in my life
9. Put me in the front office, maybe as some kind of greeter so my cheer and lack of awareness can charm and disarm people
10. Inverness Caledonian Thistle F.C. so we can secede from the UK by kicking England's arse at football

Most of all I just hope all the players have fun and nobody gets hurt or overdoses on illegal party drugs.

[Dr. Buttplug]

1. Doctor Buttplug
2. He/him
3. 1988 (too old to play?)
4. U.S.A.
5. English/Southern English
6. The U.S. woman's team is still pretty good right? and I don't want anything to do with the various U.K. teams with especially racist fanbases
7. I am one of the few Americans who understands the game. I was pretty good at slide tackling. Good at following rules, not a fan of corruption.
8. Easily winded. I do not really keep up with the sport. Not very good with numbers.
9. I'd like to play, but coaching would be good too. I'd like to think I'd be pretty good at doing one of those rousing half time speeches.
10. Iverness Caledonian would be my first choice, but the pink Jerseys of Polermo would be pretty cool

[advancedclass]

1. Ingrid Advancedclass
2. She/her
3. 1984
4. Canadian
5. English & French
6. I am pro FC Honka solely because I looked at a list of football clubs and Honka delights me
7. I have played a football (in elementary school), I have powerful calves, I believe in the power of fictional sports
8. I am easily convinced by a confidently spoken lie about something I'm not very familiar with (ie football, management)
9. Scouting office, let me make important decisions I am in no way qualified to make based on things that amuse me
10. RoPS! Or the pink guys

[moooo566 (taylor's version)]

1. moooo fivesixsix
2. he/him
3. 1969
4. british
5. english
6. i am an arsenal fan and i am a liverpool hater (because my father is a liverpool fan)
7. i know more about football than i do about many sports, i am very good at pretending to be injured, and i have an excellent grasp of what colours look good together on a shirt/shorts combo
8. i think the players should kick the ball at the goal a lot more than they do, and i can't be swayed from that opinion no matter how much the so-called-experts think
9. front office for sure
10. oxford

[Cheapskate]

4. british

I can technically put you down as “British,” but in the soccer world, people are generally either English, Scottish, Welsh, or Northern Irish. (Or from one of the dependencies.)

Also, depending on which league we play in, I may need to give Dr. Buttplug a second nationality, as some leagues have restrictive rules about having foreign players.

Let’s see some more participants! What do you have to lose except soccer games?

[Dr. Buttplug]

4. british

I can technically put you down as “British,” but in the soccer world, people are generally either English, Scottish, Welsh, or Northern Irish. (Or from one of the dependencies.)

Also, depending on which league we play in, I may need to give Dr. Buttplug a second nationality, as some leagues have restrictive rules about having foreign players.

Let’s see some more participants! What do you have to lose except soccer games?

My ancestry is mostly Czech (Bohemian)?

[moooo566 (taylor's version)]

4. british

I can technically put you down as “British,” but in the soccer world, people are generally either English, Scottish, Welsh, or Northern Irish. (Or from one of the dependencies.)

Also, depending on which league we play in, I may need to give Dr. Buttplug a second nationality, as some leagues have restrictive rules about having foreign players.

Let’s see some more participants! What do you have to lose except soccer games?

oh sorry, i'm english. i briefly forgot i was actually doing a football thing.

english football is cursed so sorry in advance everyone!

[Cheapskate]

I’d like to start work on this on Sunday, so if you’ve been sitting on the fence, now’s the time to de-fence yourself. We still need some people for the medical team.

P.S. You’re welcome to lie about any of the information I’ve asked you to provide about yourself.

[thelizzerd]

1. The name by which you want to be known: Lizzerd
2. Male or female pronouns; He/Him
3. The year of your birth; 1999
4. Your nationality: American
5. If you speak any languages other than those in your home country; English and French (the US has no official language)
6. Any real-life teams or players you particularly like or dislike; I like DC united
7. Three things about you that will make you a good part of this team; I was so bad at backyard soccer as a child that if there were an uneven number of people I would talk to my friend's mom about her garden, she had a very nice garden, I wonder if she's single
8. One not-so-good thing about you that might make you a less good part of this team; I would fuck my friend's mom.
9. Whether you’d like to work in the coaching office, the scouting office, the medical team, or the front office; Any
10. Which of the seven teams listed above you think we should take charge of. Any I just like participation!

[Shell Game]

1. Anti-Jules
2. Yes
3. 1960
4. Welsh
5. English
6. None
7. I'm pro-peace, I'm probably incorporeal, I'm a strong leader
8. My son is evil. Alternately i dress as a stage magician
9. the management front office
10. Palermo FC