Because I keep looking at Isfahan's pictures of gun porn but then have to follow up on stories about the real world.
NRA Unveils School ShieldHere's the story so far: After a mass shooting of small children at a Conneticut elementary school was pretty much agreed upon to be The Worst Fucking Thing We Can Possibly Imagine, NRA CEO and Man With Unpleasant Face Wayne LaPierre immediately held some well attended press conferences insisting that people not lose perspective and try to take steps this same exact thing doesn't happen again tomorrow.
That doesn't go well, so LaPierre proposes his own solution: More guns! If the inside of elementary school looked like a Call of Duty game, then the end result is a World of Safety. LaPierre later goes on to propose that every school should have paid staff to patrol school grounds carrying automatic rifles. We're already treating schools like prisons, so hey - they might as well look the part. The NRA promises to create a rational plan that will please everyone.
This morning: The plan is released. What is the plan? Well, it's the exact same thing as mentioned above, except removing the word "paid", because that was troubling to the deficit hawks. So here's the new idea: Each and every school gets to start it's own militia! You recruit volunteers to come to your school at agreed upon times, bring your own arsenal with you, and you know, just hang out and make sure everything is safe. This means recruiting from a pool of people who have their own stockpiles of firearms
and have nothing else to do during the weekdays but sit around and hope that violence occurs near them, and I have run out of my capacity for heavy-handed sarcasm. Just... fuck you, Wayne LaPierre.