1742 A.M., 17th of Grumpy Cat.
The upvote harvest has been scarce this year. I appreciate that our subreddit will never be as popular as /r/funny or /r/kotakuinaction, but we've harvested less content this cycle than any previous cycle recorded in the archives. My mods have begun staggering content to provide the illusion of life, hoping that the image of a lively community will be seen as an invitation to participate. The posters do not wish to post in the subreddit proper anymore, largely relegating themselves to the discord server. That damnable server has tormented me ever since its creation. I had hoped to create a forum in which the philosophy of our content could flourish and our community would enrich itself. Instead it has siphoned content that would normally be posted publicly in an ouroboros of shite-posting. If this problem cannot be solved, the subreddit will fall by its own hand.
Our relationship with our sister subreddit has been strained as of late. They have always been more prosperous than us, and do not seem to be suffering as we are. When we initially partnered with them, we assumed that we would be gaining users from them, and that this relationship would result in our growth. Instead it seems to have resulted in an opposite effect; people have come to browse our content, but ultimately end up straying onto our sister's page, enticed by the promise of its title. Few of them come back. Even a few of my most trusted advisers have been lost in this manner. I suppose I should have seen this as a potential result of partnering with /r/neopetsr34. Time will tell if there is a way to amend this mistake, or whether this relationship can ever work in our favour.
My wife is threatening to leave me again. She has never understood the burden of the responsibilities I bear. I cannot blame her for being dissatisfied with me. Her family offered me a hefty dowry of steam games, and she herself had both commendable photoshop skills, as well as being able and willing to verify she was a woman on skype. What could I offer her in return? An ailing subreddit focused on a children's browser game. I did not take her as my bride out of love, but out of greed and lust. She does deserve better. The thought of her leaving hurts me, however, when I am forced to consider the fate of our child...my son. Little Paarthurnax Ash-Ketchum McDonald. He is a good boy, nearly fifteen Youtube-rewinds of age by now. So nearly a man. I have tried to be the best father I could to him, but I have always known that the limited scope of my domain would suppress his soul as it has suppressed my ambition. This land is more burden than gift. Still, it is our home and we must make the most of it. My wife has told me she will leave for /r/neopets if we cannot increase our karma gain threefold by the 20th of Boaty McBoatface, three cycles hence. I almost welcome my family's flight from this place. Perhaps if my son can succeed in the veritable metropolis (at least in comparison to this squalid hamlet) of /r/neopets, then, in a way, I have done good in this world.
Musk Keep Us All.
Thane Funny_Shoryu89, /r/neopetsmemes