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Projects => The F Plus => Topic started by: Lemon on July 17, 2016, 02:11:08 pm

Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Lemon on July 17, 2016, 02:11:08 pm: Okay, so here's what happened:

On July 1st Boots, Jack Chick, Nutshell Gulag, STOG and I recorded an episode called "My Masturbation", from a document submitted by Spooks. My Masturbation is a site that provides the user with tips on how men and women can masturbate better, and the result was possibly the grossest thing we've ever done. Just consider that for a moment. We're not saying definitively "That was the grossest", but "This may or may not be grosser than Sissykiss".

Anyway, that happened. I volunteered to edit the episode, but when I got the files I noticed that somehow Nutshell's audio cuts out 25 minutes in. We're not really sure why, but that's where it's at. Her audio is missing a full hour.

So, having no earthly idea on what to do with this audio and knowing that none of us are willing to subject ourselves to the My Masturbation site again, I present to you a .zip file of all 5 raw audio recordings. If you want to try to do something with them, go right ahead.

My Masturbation Raw Files, Zip, 319 megs (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5OT20mhinGpVUFnVTFEczJvSXc/view?usp=sharing)

Edit: Here is the document (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yaJyxxJJoHYlUqo7blg0UTVF47rXILTEGoPFFF3M2EU/edit?usp=sharing) (provided by Spooks)
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: A Meat on July 17, 2016, 02:41:21 pm: A tragedy has befallen all mankind
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Gyro on July 17, 2016, 02:56:46 pm: You're so genuinely freaked out by how gross this episode is, coming right off of the armpits episode. I'm a little scared.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Zekka on July 17, 2016, 05:39:28 pm: Whoa, this is a cool release. I haven't listened through it but unfiltered raw horrifying audio is awesome, and having a clean multitrack only makes the situation better. Thank you, pal!
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Agent (gobble, gobble) Coop on July 17, 2016, 05:40:30 pm: I'll run these on a giant tape deck for days to make the F Plus Disintegration Loops
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Cleretic on July 17, 2016, 06:41:45 pm: Someone should edit these into only the horrified and disgusted reactions to what's being read. None of the actual content, JUST the recoiling.

EDIT: In fact, fuck it, I'm gonna start doing that tonight. That sounds way too fun not to do.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Zekka on July 17, 2016, 10:32:20 pm: I originally wanted to do the whole episode but this five minutes took five hours, so at that rate it would take me literal weeks (https://clyp.it/mvml5lju?token=b37191fa43bf2eb555af5fd2b37c518e).
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Cyberventurer on July 17, 2016, 11:18:40 pm: Well now you have no choice but to find something even grosser to record as penance.

Could you share a link to the document? The hopper doesn't let you view them unless they were moved to the dump.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: xX_sp00ks_Xx on July 18, 2016, 06:58:01 am: Oh nooo. IIRC Nutshell's cut out once before, on "Because That's Stupid", I hope the curse doesn't befall any more episodes. :(

I've got the doc link right here (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yaJyxxJJoHYlUqo7blg0UTVF47rXILTEGoPFFF3M2EU/edit?usp=sharing).
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Ambious on July 18, 2016, 09:00:05 am: I originally wanted to do the whole episode but this five minutes took five hours, so at that rate it would take me literal weeks (https://clyp.it/mvml5lju?token=b37191fa43bf2eb555af5fd2b37c518e).
Zekka, July 17, 2016, 10:32:20 pm

Based on this alone we seem to have lost an epic treasure.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Lemon on July 18, 2016, 09:02:06 am: Djeser emailed me a file last night, and it's 1 hour 8 minutes long.

I have no idea how he managed that, but I'm listening now.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: xX_sp00ks_Xx on July 18, 2016, 09:30:07 am: For the record I'll probably try to edit the files into something listenable today as well. Pun not intended. My Audacity is chugging like hell with the filesizes so I might be slower.
e: Lemon, what channel balance did you use for the different ridiculists? I remember you posted it on an episode thread but I can't remember which one.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Boots Raingear on July 18, 2016, 09:46:52 am: e: Lemon, what channel balance did you use for the different ridiculists? I remember you posted it on an episode thread but I can't remember which one.
Spooks, July 18, 2016, 09:30:07 am

I usually put half of the readers at 30% left, the other half at 30% right.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: STOG on July 18, 2016, 10:37:29 am: I think I want to try and restore this episode using a bunch of understudies for Nutshell's missing audio. Would anyone be interested in filling in?
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Zekka on July 18, 2016, 11:06:48 am: I think I want to try and restore this episode using a bunch of understudies for Nutshell's missing audio. Would anyone be interested in filling in?
STOG, July 18, 2016, 10:37:29 am

Do you mean like a Greek chorus of 12 people in unison?

Because that would be cool.

E: If anybody does an alt reading to substitute for Nutshell, post here. The great thing about having a multitrack is that you can add a ridiculist laugh track to anything, even if the timing doesn't match or the post is horrible.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: LINDA on July 18, 2016, 11:09:17 am: I think I want to try and restore this episode using a bunch of understudies for Nutshell's missing audio. Would anyone be interested in filling in?
STOG, July 18, 2016, 10:37:29 am

I can do an excellent Girl Voice
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: STOG on July 18, 2016, 11:47:37 am: I think I want to try and restore this episode using a bunch of understudies for Nutshell's missing audio. Would anyone be interested in filling in?
STOG, July 18, 2016, 10:37:29 am

I can do an excellent Girl Voice
LINDA, July 18, 2016, 11:09:17 am

Cool! Depending on how many segments there are past the 23 minute mark, I might have to break this into chunks and assign them to readers.

I do have to point out that you don't necessarily need to be a woman or have a girl voice in order to have a segment - this is a general casting call for interested readers.

I'm going to put together whatever I can of the episode (especially since Windows rebooted and took my open Audacity project with it) and use that as a call to action very soon when I get some time to work on it.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Zekka on July 18, 2016, 12:09:52 pm: It sounds like Djeser has already segmented the episode or something like that, so he probably knows how many things were cut, although not exactly what they were.

If you can put together hints on what was missing, I may be able to read for you.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: lazzer grardaion? on July 18, 2016, 12:33:58 pm: Why did it have to be this episode? But I would be delighted to have my "eugh, AUGH, AWAUGH"s added to the F-Plus canon.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: xX_sp00ks_Xx on July 18, 2016, 01:11:36 pm: My wife actually suggested I sub in for Nutshell but I wasn't keen on it. If STOG wants an ensemble fan-cast though, sure.

I was sectioning off edit points and such but I won't be able to get around cutting the tracks until tomorrow - STOG or Djeser might have something better on the table by then, so I'll wait and see.

What I do have for you, though, is an intro. (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B99zv5BwkRp7X1BoaDNWSjhpY00/view?usp=sharing)
(Lemon and JC are at 30% left, Boots and STOG are at 30% right, Nutshell is at center. Lemon's +4db. Still have the project so can change on the go.)
e: version 2 with snappier timings. (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B99zv5BwkRp7V2Mza0JIcVVOVnM/view?usp=sharing)
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: NutshellGulag on July 18, 2016, 02:30:44 pm: If you guys can fix my fuck-up, that'd be good. I've been feeling pretty bad since this would have been a great episode.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Amelia Blank on July 18, 2016, 02:43:37 pm: I think I want to try and restore this episode using a bunch of understudies for Nutshell's missing audio. Would anyone be interested in filling in?
STOG, July 18, 2016, 10:37:29 am

I am SO down for reading stupid gross stuff!!
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Ambious on July 18, 2016, 02:59:02 pm: I think I want to try and restore this episode using a bunch of understudies for Nutshell's missing audio. Would anyone be interested in filling in?
STOG, July 18, 2016, 10:37:29 am

I am SO down for reading stupid gross stuff!!
Ms.Blank, July 18, 2016, 02:43:37 pm

If you don't mind a bit of accent fluctuations I'm game too
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Bobsterfest on July 18, 2016, 03:21:08 pm: I think I want to try and restore this episode using a bunch of understudies for Nutshell's missing audio. Would anyone be interested in filling in?
STOG, July 18, 2016, 10:37:29 am

This sounds fun! I think we're only six people away from becoming a Radiolab production now.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Ashto on July 18, 2016, 04:30:36 pm: Make that five guys (I'll toss my hat in the ring). We'd also need some sort of ASMR inducing intro for it to be a proper Radiolab episode.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Positronic on July 18, 2016, 04:34:11 pm: I'd be up for it!
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Lemon on July 18, 2016, 04:37:18 pm: What I do have for you, though, is an intro. (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B99zv5BwkRp7X1BoaDNWSjhpY00/view?usp=sharing)
(Lemon and JC are at 30% left, Boots and STOG are at 30% right, Nutshell is at center. Lemon's +4db. Still have the project so can change on the go.)
e: version 2 with snappier timings. (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B99zv5BwkRp7V2Mza0JIcVVOVnM/view?usp=sharing)
Spooks, July 18, 2016, 01:11:36 pm

This is wonderful. What song is this?

To everyone else, I'd say hold off because I think Djeser's version will end up being the canonical. I'll pass Djeser this as a possible intro tho.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: STOG on July 18, 2016, 06:50:07 pm: Yeah, I listened to Djeser's version and he worked around Nutshell like she wasn't even there. It's really good and it's making my idea look like more work than it's worth. My goal was to get the episode out By Any Means Necessary (tm), but I tend to take the convoluted route and Djeser just cooked this one up real fine in a jiffy.

But thank you to those who volunteered to sign up for readings! I'm still trying to figure out how to involve the community in future episodes, so stay tuned!
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: xX_sp00ks_Xx on July 18, 2016, 07:33:18 pm: This is wonderful. What song is this?

To everyone else, I'd say hold off because I think Djeser's version will end up being the canonical. I'll pass Djeser this as a possible intro tho.
Lemon, July 18, 2016, 04:37:18 pm

It's Jerk It Out by The Ceasers. I've been thinking what would make a good outro, so far all I've got is She Blinded Me With Science.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Cleretic on July 18, 2016, 07:49:47 pm: This is wonderful. What song is this?

To everyone else, I'd say hold off because I think Djeser's version will end up being the canonical. I'll pass Djeser this as a possible intro tho.
Lemon, July 18, 2016, 04:37:18 pm

It's Jerk It Out by The Ceasers. I've been thinking what would make a good outro, so far all I've got is She Blinded Me With Science.
Spooks, July 18, 2016, 07:33:18 pm
Turning Japanese? That's not about masturbation, but fuck it, everyone thinks it is.

I haven't decided yet if my version will have intro/outro music, but I know if they do they're based on what I'm doing with it*. Also, I like The Sounds' Hurt You and Ladytron's Ghosts.

*I don't want to inflate expectations, but F Plus Minus F Plus is possibly the funniest idea I've ever had.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Sherman Tank on July 18, 2016, 07:54:26 pm: Yeah, I listened to Djeser's version and he worked around Nutshell like she wasn't even there. It's really good and it's making my idea look like more work than it's worth. My goal was to get the episode out By Any Means Necessary (tm), but I tend to take the convoluted route and Djeser just cooked this one up real fine in a jiffy.

But thank you to those who volunteered to sign up for readings! I'm still trying to figure out how to involve the community in future episodes, so stay tuned!
STOG, July 18, 2016, 06:50:07 pm

I've had an idea like this floating around in my head. Maybe have an F Plus Amateur Hour type series where fans can read rejected docs or parts of docs that didn't make it into regular episodes.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Emperor Jack Chick on July 18, 2016, 11:18:05 pm: Yeah, I listened to Djeser's version and he worked around Nutshell like she wasn't even there. It's really good and it's making my idea look like more work than it's worth. My goal was to get the episode out By Any Means Necessary (tm), but I tend to take the convoluted route and Djeser just cooked this one up real fine in a jiffy.

But thank you to those who volunteered to sign up for readings! I'm still trying to figure out how to involve the community in future episodes, so stay tuned!
STOG, July 18, 2016, 06:50:07 pm

I've had an idea like this floating around in my head. Maybe have an F Plus Amateur Hour type series where fans can read rejected docs or parts of docs that didn't make it into regular episodes.
Why Sherman Tank Love is Called Fetish?, July 18, 2016, 07:54:26 pm
F+ casting couch
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Cleretic on July 20, 2016, 08:10:10 am: Time to find out if anybody else finds this as funny as I do.

F Plus Minus F Plus (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8EVBRAILBryeG9BeUlUU2I2blU/view?usp=sharing), where I have removed any and all actual readings from the recording (minus a couple total non-sequitirs I kept in because I thought they were funny, and some that probably slipped through because I didn't realize they were in the doc). I probably could've improved the audio quality a bit here and there, but it shouldn't be too bad.

Also, I can now recognize a STOG laugh by its waveform.
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Frank West on July 20, 2016, 10:19:53 am: Also, I can now recognize a STOG laugh by its waveform.
Cleretic, July 20, 2016, 08:10:10 am
Title: FILE DUMP: The My Masturbation Raw Files
Post by: Ashto on September 20, 2016, 01:38:19 pm: Also, I can now recognize a STOG laugh by its waveform.
Frank West, July 20, 2016, 10:19:53 am

He's not wrong. And to illustrate that point, let's introduce Ballpit's newest game show...
FIND STOG'S LAUGH!
[cue applause] [cue applause] [cue applause] [cue applause] [cue applause] [cue applause]

Here's your first challenge, can you find Stog's laugh?
(http://i.imgur.com/MLyLFfp.png)

For those of you playing the home game, here's the answer key:
NSFW content. Click to show.
(http://i.imgur.com/NvRnDb9.png)

And that's our show! Tune in next week as we... what's that Jim? ... ah. It looks like we were cancelled halfway through our broadcast.