The F Plus conquers ancient China!

[Cheapskate]

There’s already a general in the game called A Gui, and because the Chinese put family names first, I figured A Meat and A Gui would be relatives.



Two more days to join up!

[Dr. Buttplug]

1. Male
2. Strength 50, Leadership 75, Intellect 75, Politics 75, and Charisma 75,
3. reproducing like rabbits
4. sheer numbers
5. Punctual, kind, and generous
6. lasciviousness
7. Sauce, Chai and A Meat are cool, whichever makes sense for your campaign

[Cheapskate]

The lascivious Dr. Buttplug says “how YOU doin’?”



One more day to enter!

[Cheapskate]

Our time portal dumps us into China in October, 191 AD. We’ve set up shop in the city of Wu, near modern Shanghai.



Wu is moderately large and controls the entrance to the Yangtze river, so we’re in pretty good shape.

Here’s the situation in China.



Dong Zhuo (gray) holds the emperor hostage and recently defeated a coalition to overthrow him, but he’s very unpopular. His current chief rivals are two members of the Yuan clan: Yuan Shao (yellow) and Yuan Shu (pink).

Elsewhere, three talented warlords are gathering their armies: the heroic Liu Bei (green), the villainous Cao Cao (blue), and the brave Sun Jian (red). Note that there are three of them and the game is called Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

To our north is Zhang Chao (purple), who has slightly more men than we do but fewer officers. A little further to the west is Liu Biao (teal), who controls a hilly stretch of land near the Three Gorges. To our southwest are the Shanyue, a collection of hill tribes who like to raid nearby cities. We can’t send them a diplomat yet, but might gain that ability later.

The white shields on the map represent cities that aren’t controlled by any generals yet.

Our campaign starts in earnest on Sunday afternoon. What should we do next?

[GirlKisser420]

I think we should aggressively target the unaligned cities. A lot of attention will be going on towards the northwest corner, so we should prioritize consolidating our position where we are.



I'd go for the territories inside the red-line first. The further cities marked in the blue should go next as they're very likely to be targets of other kingdoms and we don't want to get forced into defending or attacking when overextended pretty far outwards.

[Shell Game]

Establish some variety of goodwill between us and Yuan Shao. Lend only economic and cultural promises, don't extend military help. Cozy up to him while propping him up to be the biggest threat to Dong Zhuo. Keep them at each other's throats while securing more land closer to our new friends.

i have no idea how this game is played and have no intention of learning.

[A Meat]

Try and expand our sphere of influence towards the unaffiliated ports on our side of the Yangtze, Jianye seems like a good first target, developing this key economic area might put Zhang in a less favorable political and economic position, letting us negotiate better treaties with them

[Cheapskate]

Conquest is under way!

My first action is to appoint you all in various advisory roles.



Frank West, as warlord, is improving the durability of our city walls. K. Thor is helping us develop fortifications, and Sauce makes our construction projects go faster. GirlKisser420’s trickery skill makes diplomacy cheaper. Dr. Buttplug recruits troops faster than usual, and Jim and the Mammograms improves the speed of our city development. Diana is training a navy, and Shell Game helps us learn faster.

Next up: appointing city governors. They can be set to improve agriculture, commerce, or barracks in their cities. Administrators with high Charisma win over the countryside faster than others do. That’s why I’ve put Lemon in charge of the strategically important Port Lou: it controls the entrance to the Yangtse, so anyone crossing the river from the north is likely to find their supply lines cut when Lemon wins over the river denizens (fishermen? mermaids?) to his side.



We also need people to be in charge of training and recruiting troops. For our capital city of Wu, that’ll be K. Thor Jensen and Diana.



As instructed, our three fastest generals, Chai Tea Latte, A Meat, and Dr. Buttplug are going to race to capture Jianye. (Dr. Buttplug is very quotable.)



We’ll also need to recruit some more officers if we intend to hold territory. I like how this image implies that Lemon is bribing potential officers with jelly donuts.

[Cheapskate]

A month and a half later, our forces roll into Jianye unopposed. Shell Game and one of our new recruits, Quan Rou, ride out to subdue the villages of the countryside.




Running an army of this size is going to be expensive, so officers who aren’t doing anything else are spending their time searching cities. While searching, they can find new officers, gold, or tomes that teach new tactics to our officers (as Chai Tea Latte is learning here). They can also get rare items that boost stats, like K. Thor’s new sword.




In the world of diplomacy, we’re trying to make friends with Yuan Shao as Shell Game suggested. We’re also receiving gifts from two of our neighbors, Zhang Chao (who’s just north of the river from us) and Sun Ce. Either one would be inclined to ally with us if we so chose.





“Wait, Sun Ce? Don’t you mean Sun Jian?” About that: Sun Jian was cut down in battle with Liu Biao (immediately to our west) and his son took over, swearing vengeance.



Elsewhere in China, Yuan Shao’s men took out Liu Bei, which is rather anticlimactic because Liu Bei is the hero of the novel. Liu Bei survived and took a job in Yuan Shao’s administration.



And Dong Zhuo is no longer a factor. A scheming retainer promised his niece Diaochan in marriage to both Dong Zhuo and his mightiest warrior Lu Bu (of “do not pursue” fame). Lu Bu assassinated Dong Zhuo, and now Dong Zhuo’s army is split between Lu Bu and his more loyal (albeit much stupider) servant Li Jue.




One year after we’ve arrived in China, and we’re starting to build momentum. Wu and Jianye are becoming prosperous, and are well-defended. We’ve even recruited a general, Yan Baihu, who will prevent the Shanyue from attacking any city in which he resides. Liu Biao rushed east to take Lujiang and Chaisang—neither city is well-defended, but attacking them would require a river crossing. Huiji, to the south, is still unowned, and if we take it, we’ll be able to set a formal alliance with the Shanyue.



Elsewhere in China, Liu Yan now leads in territory controlled, holding the remote, poor, and mountainous southwest. Lu Bu is facing attack from all sides.



We also have the option of letting an event fire. This one would greatly reinforce Cao Cao, which we may or may not want to do.



Questions? Suggestions? What next?

[chai tea latte]

Liu Biao rushed east to take Lujiang and Chaisang—neither city is well-defended, but attacking them would require a river crossing. Huiji, to the south, is still unowned, and if we take it, we’ll be able to set a formal alliance with the Shanyue.

We take Huiji, to the south. From there, we fortify, ally with Shanyue, and then prepare to take Lujiang and Chaisang in a pincer movement.

[GirlKisser420]

Cao Cao is probably bad news considering liu bei's already cooked it, so its probably best not to reinforce him. I'd not fire off the event.

[Shell Game]

with the greater threat in shambles we should sweep up some allies and sympathetic accomplices

perhaps we can extend some of our learning prowess and enforce a cultural primacy from the bottom up. educate the masses, focus on arts and whatnot.

[Cheapskate]

While you wait for the next update on Sunday, I invite you to visit /r/threekingdoms, which is split between people arguing over who the best warrior is, people arguing over what the best adaptation is, and a guy who’s trying to retell the novel in bad memes.

[chai tea latte]

It's red cliff and cao cao. Duh.

[Cheapskate]

The second year of our campaign begins with a rush on Huiji to the south.


This allows us to conduct diplomacy with the Shanyue. After a few gifts, they’re feeling friendly, and are contributing officers and troops to help our cause. (Sadly, we can’t use their officers as city governors.)



As suggested, we patch up relations with our friendliest-looking neighbors. We now have alliances with Sun Ce to the southwest and Zhang Chao to the north.



I’ve leveled up to become level 2 noble, which allows me to appoint another advisor. We’re doing a domestic focus for a while, so I’ve appointed Chai Tea Latte to help promote economic development in our cities. China will be awash in ben-wa balls and artwork in no time.


As always, we need to bring in more officers to help manage the territory we’re conquering, and I’m resorting to attempting to poach disloyal officers from other warlords.


Some notable recruits include:
Chen Gong, who’s reasonably well-rounded;
Dong Xi, a fierce warrior who drowned IRL and whom Koei Tecmo gave the trait “Helmsman” to rub it in, I guess;
Fan Neng, who died when Sun Ce yelled at him and he fell off his horse;
He Qi, who’s skilled in water warfare and really flashy;
Pan Lin, a Shanyue officer whose outfit looks He-Man inspired;
Xu Huang, considered one of the Five Elite Generals.

By the beginning of October (and yes, I’m introducing the Gregorian calendar as soon as I remember whatever weird thing it does with leap days), we’re firmly in control of eastern China south of the Yangtze.


Elsewhere, there’s a mad scramble for the north central region, with Yuan Shao, Cao Cao, Yuan Shu, and Lu Bu all warring with each other.


Thanks to avoiding open conflict and allying with the Shanyue, we now have the largest army in China, although we lag behind Yuan Shao in money, supplies, and officers.


The city of Jianan sits undefended to our south. It’s in a mountainous region and would take some time to capture, potentially bringing us into conflict with Shi Xie (unless we spent some time and money buttering him up).

We outnumber Liu Biao (to our west) three to one and have more officers than he does, plus he’s using a lot of men to chase down bandits in his territory, so if we’re willing to chance a river crossing, we could strike against Chaisang (south of the river) or Lujiang (north of it).

Or we could focus on economic development and build fortifications.

What do you say?