Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Sherman Tank on February 12, 2016, 11:03:07 pm
So Caroline, why do the British like garbage-tier baked beans so much?
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Bobalay on February 13, 2016, 01:18:27 am
oh my god he's trying to give diet advice and doesn't even know that the 'Calories' listed on food packaging refers to kilocalories
edit: wait, he's from the UK. Do they use 'kcal' on food labels over there?
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: xX_sp00ks_Xx on February 13, 2016, 03:15:23 am
(http://i.imgur.com/uYC32oR.jpg)
I had to run Portaxx's claim by a third party - reputable online website morphthing.com. I think it confirms her claim, he is the missing link. e: You have my permission to print this and hang it up in your room, too. See how it treats you.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: A Meat on February 13, 2016, 05:56:48 am
Heinz baked beans are basically candy
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Caroline on February 13, 2016, 07:08:42 am
Baked beans are fucking delicious and I will fight anybody who says otherwise. I'm still vaguely pissed off that I had to find them in the 'foreign foods' aisle at Wegman's.
HEINZ 4 EVA!!!
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Caroline on February 13, 2016, 07:27:14 am
I also wanted to say that I found all the jokes about the British Space Administration to be in rather poor taste. The story behind the collapse of the BSA is actually quite tragic, as you can see from this documentary:
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Lemon on February 13, 2016, 08:30:00 am
I *think* I solved the problem from happening in the future. I had a typo in the /random code where it wasn't ignoring hidden pages. That should be resolved, although 203 and 204 are still bonded.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: A Meat on February 13, 2016, 09:04:09 am
It's kind of unbelievable that there's a real person who's basically a pervy Sam & Max character. Andy Moleman would totally help you forget something by punching you in the face three times
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Yavuz on February 13, 2016, 12:08:45 pm
Andy Kadir-Buxton is going to stop the Pyumaman by fingering him in the ass. Somehow.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Blandest on February 13, 2016, 12:10:17 pm
As someone from Australia I can confirm that Heinz baked beans are amazing and any bad words spoken about them are spoken from a place of ignorance
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: STOG on February 13, 2016, 01:27:57 pm
Oh good, I can finally use one of the mean things I did to my little sister as work credit towards a Psychology degree. Thanks, Andy Kadir-Buxton!
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Ambious on February 13, 2016, 01:40:45 pm
Ooh, crazy individual episode! YAAAAAY!!!!
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Glitterbomber on February 13, 2016, 01:44:54 pm
Oh good, I can finally use one of the mean things I did to my little sister as work credit towards a Psychology degree. Thanks, Andy Kadir-Buxton! STOG, February 13, 2016, 01:27:57 pm
Yea turns out that thing my buddies and I did to call each other pussies when we wouldn't do whatever stupid dare we came up with was ACTUALLY medicine. Thanks internet.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Dawnswalker on February 13, 2016, 03:05:45 pm
With all of these super old school references flying around, I'm glad to see that you remembered Amy Lee just before the end.
I feel like this guy is in the unhappy area where he's still sane enough to be relatively coherent, but he just needs one more good push (or a whiskynana-induced diabetic coma) to send him over the edge for good.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Muffinator on February 13, 2016, 06:42:37 pm
Kanye West's alter-egos are getting weird.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: sincerelyest on February 13, 2016, 07:12:09 pm
Isfahan reminding me why I love this podcast so much (around 28:20).
Boots: "It does not." Isfahan: "It says right here that it does, Boots. I don't see you with a website."
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Puppy Time on February 13, 2016, 08:00:53 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/sRoJDVd.png)
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: JonRG on February 13, 2016, 09:18:37 pm
I loved the list of petition signers. 'The Psychiatrist Who Cannot Be Found' is my favorite. (Also, I wish I knew the different emoji so I could have a smiley freaking the fuck out.)
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Neal on February 13, 2016, 11:23:41 pm
I loved the list of petition signers. 'The Psychiatrist Who Cannot Be Found' is my favorite. (Also, I wish I knew the different emoji so I could have a smiley freaking the fuck out.) Nyarai, February 13, 2016, 09:18:37 pm
That would be "freakout" in brackets instead of quotation marks. [freakout]
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Yavuz on February 14, 2016, 12:01:21 am
I loved the list of petition signers. 'The Psychiatrist Who Cannot Be Found' is my favorite. (Also, I wish I knew the different emoji so I could have a smiley freaking the fuck out.) Nyarai, February 13, 2016, 09:18:37 pm
If you want to make a smiley golem like Frank West, you can find the smiley cheatsheet here (http://ballp.it/index.php?topic=1822.0).
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: A Meat on February 14, 2016, 12:33:58 am
[freakout] [butt] [fuckyou]
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Dawnswalker on February 14, 2016, 12:35:03 am
Hooray, A Meat is sane now! [freakout]
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: JonRG on February 14, 2016, 07:15:27 am
Thanks! [freakout]
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Aljonso on February 14, 2016, 07:27:03 am
Gotta say, my favorite part of this episode is this guy opening up to the internet at the end, and the internet shutting him the fuck down.
...that or penis camouflage.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: NutshellGulag on February 14, 2016, 10:27:50 pm
So, uh, I guess I should buy some bananas? And whiskey?
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Lemon on February 14, 2016, 10:30:01 pm
Yes please.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Neal on February 14, 2016, 10:46:28 pm
I can attest from personal experience that bananas soaked in bourbon are nice, particularly if you slice and caramelize them in a pan afterward and hit 'em with a dollop of whipped cream.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: NutshellGulag on February 14, 2016, 11:57:37 pm
I can attest from personal experience that bananas soaked in bourbon are nice, particularly if you slice and caramelize them in a pan afterward and hit 'em with a dollop of whipped cream. Neal, February 14, 2016, 10:46:28 pm
My thoughts exactly. "What this recipe needs is FIRE!"
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: chai tea latte on February 15, 2016, 12:52:05 am
I went to Pirate Prentice, personally
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Sherman Tank on February 15, 2016, 12:39:41 pm
Baked beans are fucking delicious and I will fight anybody who says otherwise. I'm still vaguely pissed off that I had to find them in the 'foreign foods' aisle at Wegman's.
If you ever come to America, I promise I will teach you what real baked beans taste like.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: A Meat on February 15, 2016, 12:48:21 pm
This Heinz baked beans conversation is what happened on the processed food episode thread again, you're allowed to like an industrially processed food product!
Basically what I'm saying is that liking Heinz baked beans is like liking Heinz ketchup or Heinz mustard or Heinz whateverthefuck
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: EYE OF ZA on February 15, 2016, 02:02:38 pm
While I agree that you're allowed to like whatever the fuck food, it's much more normal to just make your own baked beans than it is to make your own ketchup.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Caroline on February 15, 2016, 03:05:32 pm
Baked beans are fucking delicious and I will fight anybody who says otherwise. I'm still vaguely pissed off that I had to find them in the 'foreign foods' aisle at Wegman's.
If you ever come to America, I promise I will teach you what real baked beans taste like. Sherman Tank, February 15, 2016, 12:39:41 pm
I lived in America for four years, and each day of those four years I was saddened by the Heinz baked bean-less wilderness around me. I'm still not sure what I missed more, tinned baked beans or proper bacon.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: moooo566 (taylor's version) on February 15, 2016, 03:34:27 pm
Please keep your homemade baked beans on the other side of the atlantic thank you.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Isfahan on February 15, 2016, 03:40:46 pm
Holy shit, I don't think any of us realized just how much Heinz™ brand canned baked beans were treasured in the UK! It's like Vegemite in Australia.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Baldr on February 15, 2016, 05:58:37 pm
Maybe we're discussing different products without realizing it? I remember talking to Australians about beer once, and they considered Fosters to be the lowest of the shit beers. They said Fosters tasted like garbage in Australia, but in the United States it tasted like kind-of-okay beer. Coke also has different formulas depending on the country.
Every time I've tried canned baked beans they've tasted like sugary cardboard encased within a mucoid matrix. Caroline has to be eating a different product with the same name.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: moooo566 (taylor's version) on February 15, 2016, 06:08:40 pm
Beans on toast is the #1 nostalgia food your mum made you for tea on rainy nights, and it'll be brought up on every buzzfeed list and radio call-in and blog post even tangentially related to comfort food or childhood memories. It has to be Heinz too. Maybe if you were desperate you'd buy supermarket own brand and then stuff it in the back of the cupboard and hope none of you friends ever see it. If this episode hadn't happened, I'm not sure the idea of making your own would ever have even occurred to me. I'd never really thought of them as treasured, but now you've brought it up I'm feeling defensive and I don't even actually particularly enjoy eating them.
On a less contentious topic, people having fun with XCOM 2 has inspired me to play a bit of the much more affordable EU/EW, and I've named all my dudes after the people who signed the petition. Dr Milkspasm died pretty quickly, but Hardon Spazjacket is already working his way up the ranks. As an added bonus, every time I see the list of soldiers I get to snicker a little.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Sherman Tank on February 15, 2016, 07:20:54 pm
Holy shit, I don't think any of us realized just how much Heinz™ brand canned baked beans were treasured in the UK! It's like Vegemite in Australia. Isfahan, February 15, 2016, 03:40:46 pm
I lived in England for years as a grad student and I always just assumed it was because they'd never had anything better than the Heinz ones (referred to, alarmingly, as Beanz [sic]).
Now I just wonder if there's something subtly wrong with them, like a Fabacean version of The Innsmouth Look. Supporting evidence for this is the fact that they also don't have reuben sandwiches.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Emperor Jack Chick on February 15, 2016, 07:55:46 pm
I've made baked beans a bunch of times. Super easy and super good.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Knitting Machine on February 15, 2016, 10:00:44 pm
I will have you know that beanie weenies (baked beans and hot dogs served with crackers) was a childhood staple of mine. Also that my family was really, really poor.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Cleretic on February 15, 2016, 10:39:59 pm
I will have you know that beanie weenies (baked beans and hot dogs served with crackers) was a childhood staple of mine. Also that my family was really, really poor. Knitting Machine, February 15, 2016, 10:00:44 pm
I always have a soft spot for 'poor kid food', because it's usually cheap, improvised, and probably delicious. It's not overthinking it, it's just putting shit together that seems like it might come out edible. And usually it does, because it's rarely that complex. It's probably the same thing that led to the Dorito Sandwich For Kids.
My own foray into the field when I was little was not a good one, though. Nutella and peanut butter together makes a weird solid semi-concrete that proves difficult to chew.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Laocius on February 15, 2016, 11:21:44 pm
Yeah, sometimes when you grow up eating cheap food you start to prefer it even after you've had much better versions of the same thing. To this day, my favorite kind of macaroni and cheese is the shitty Kraft kind. I cannot be swayed from this.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on February 15, 2016, 11:24:10 pm
I will have you know that beanie weenies (baked beans and hot dogs served with crackers) was a childhood staple of mine. Also that my family was really, really poor. Knitting Machine, February 15, 2016, 10:00:44 pm
Hey now, beanie weenies is the shit. I can't imagine using canned baked beans for them, though.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: montrith on February 16, 2016, 12:26:42 am
Come for the monster cock fisting, stay for the three pages long argument about baked beans.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Emperor Jack Chick on February 16, 2016, 12:35:22 am
Come for the monster cock fisting, stay for the three pages long argument about baked beans. montrith, February 16, 2016, 12:26:42 am
that's how we roll in the mealitary
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Caroline on February 16, 2016, 02:15:40 am
Actually I think that's more or less exactly how the Kadir-Buxton Method would play out in real life. Followed by a visit from the police and immediate straitjacketing, of course.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Tipps on February 16, 2016, 09:52:50 am
My favorite was how his 'only read the first line' approach to burning calories was also used in his recipe for Bananas Foster Whiskey Bananas. It's like he read that the recipe needs bananas and booze and just winged it from there.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: speedbath on February 16, 2016, 09:07:48 pm
Baked beans are fucking delicious and I will fight anybody who says otherwise. I'm still vaguely pissed off that I had to find them in the 'foreign foods' aisle at Wegman's.
If you ever come to America, I promise I will teach you what real baked beans taste like. Sherman Tank, February 15, 2016, 12:39:41 pm
I lived in America for four years, and each day of those four years I was saddened by the Heinz baked bean-less wilderness around me. I'm still not sure what I missed more, tinned baked beans or proper bacon. Caroline, February 15, 2016, 03:05:32 pm
Your bacon is bad and you should feel bad.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: AlbieQuirky on February 23, 2016, 06:24:42 pm
I just now heard this and it was so fucking glorious. Thank you, Caroline, for discovering this brilliantly loony loon. All the ridiculists were in rare form as well. You all made my day.
jack chick, did you actually make the whiskey banana? Was it gross?
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Emperor Jack Chick on February 23, 2016, 07:41:12 pm
I just now heard this and it was so fucking glorious. Thank you, Caroline, for discovering this brilliantly loony loon. All the ridiculists were in rare form as well. You all made my day.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: A Meat on February 24, 2016, 09:00:55 am
Thinking about it, an orgasm might burn 0.4Kcal if you take his input of '400 calories' as literal, and not as what he probably meant.
You'd probably need to have orgasms in the range of ehealthforum girlfriends for it to affect your weight though.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: moooo566 (taylor's version) on February 24, 2016, 09:48:46 am
I don't know much about biology but I'd assume that you'd use far more calories in the fucking stage than the orgasm stage, rendering his method extra stupid.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Knitting Machine on March 14, 2016, 03:23:12 pm
Since this is baked bean chat I wanted to mention that I saw adds promoting baked beans as a way to get your children to eat vegetables. I thought of you guys.
To be fair I don't think they said it was a healthy way to eat vegetables.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Yavuz on November 06, 2016, 04:35:14 pm
As mentioned on the Discord channel, Andy managed to update his website! It now has the navigation links *at the top of the page*. It also has a mobile site (I'm not sure if it had that before, but it definitely does now. This has happened in the last month, given that the most recent snapshot, from October 11, shows the old version.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: xX_sp00ks_Xx on May 30, 2018, 03:34:00 pm
THE KADIR-BUXTON METHOD ALREADY EXISTS IN POPULAR CULTURE. I HAVE REALIZED THIS.
NSFW content. Click to show. IT'S REAL AND IT WORKED, so think TWICE BEFORE KNOCKING IT
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Sauce on July 09, 2018, 05:23:41 pm
Since I'm a paid-up member here now I'm going to vent about something that's always bothered me about this episode.
It doesn't include a reading of this page: http://www.kadir-buxton.com/preventing-unwanted-bodily-contact-in-ethnic-minorities (http://www.kadir-buxton.com/preventing-unwanted-bodily-contact-in-ethnic-minorities)
I can only conclude that the page didn't exist at the time of recording/doc compiling, because in my view it is a most succinct masterpiece of insanity.
I will give Red Rose Andy credit though, yellow and orange are ideal suggestions.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: GirlKisser420 on July 09, 2018, 05:56:09 pm
That one's copyright 2018, so I guess it came in late
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Sauce on July 09, 2018, 06:06:57 pm
From what I can see that Copyright notice is the same throughout the site, even on pages that were mentioned/read in the episode. I definitely read it back in late 2016 anyway.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Shell Game on July 15, 2018, 10:14:59 pm
Since I'm a paid-up member here now I'm going to vent about something that's always bothered me about this episode.
It doesn't include a reading of this page: http://www.kadir-buxton.com/preventing-unwanted-bodily-contact-in-ethnic-minorities (http://www.kadir-buxton.com/preventing-unwanted-bodily-contact-in-ethnic-minorities)
I can only conclude that the page didn't exist at the time of recording/doc compiling, because in my view it is a most succinct masterpiece of insanity.
I will give Red Rose Andy credit though, yellow and orange are ideal suggestions. BrainedBySaucepans, July 09, 2018, 05:23:41 pm
I know this isn't exactly what you wanted but... https://ballp.it/index.php?topic=2829.msg118189#msg118189
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: EYE OF ZA on September 11, 2019, 03:23:33 pm
You're not going to mention it has the AK-B Seal of Approval? (http://puu.sh/EEFE3/5d580b8df5.png)
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Adam Bozarth on November 15, 2019, 01:35:22 am
I found it via ADK's page on his cure!
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Sauce on November 15, 2019, 05:06:05 pm
Ok I just actually watched the video rather than listening to it minimized and I KNOW THAT BIT OF COAST THAT'S WHERE I LIVE.
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Eider Duck on November 21, 2019, 09:07:52 am
Since this episode thread came up again, I've been rereading the document, and this bit about unblocking fallopian tubes made my blood run cold and be confused at the same time
I had been interested in finding a cure for infertility problems since a work colleague had been having problems conceiving due to blocked fallopian tubes. I was with a girl friend, and we thought it would be worthwhile to see if it was feasible to unblock fallopian tubes. When we entered the womb via the cervix, which had to be done very slowly we found that the womb needs lubricating to avoid immense pain. However, this problem was overcome by orgasm.
No comment.
I was then able to feel the fallopian tube all the way to the ovary and manipulate it as a practice for unblocking fallopian tubes.
Unless he had medical equipment then he probably couldn't manipulate it. I'd rather trust a doctor, not this prick
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Neal on March 27, 2020, 01:52:06 pm
Our man Andy is on the pandemic!
(https://i.imgur.com/wlUDiHp.png)
Title: 204: Slap 'Em Sane
Post by: Sauce on November 20, 2020, 04:26:28 pm
I just discovered this independently myself, although sadly it seems the beautiful yellow background has since been replaced with a boring white.
For public health reasons, I'll share AK-B's summary of his recommendations here:
To summarise:
1) Breath deeply all day to prevent aching muscles which could lead to death. 2) Roll on your side to cough up a lung at a time of mucus, to prevent drowning. 3) Go to bed an hour earlier to increase your energy that you will need to fight with tomorrow. 4) Imagine doing exercises to increase muscle mass because your body will be using your muscles as energy. 5) Stay warm.