I like to upgrade the old trick of splashing water on your pants whenever you accidentally piss yourself a little bit by using coffee instead of tap water. Now, granted, this doesn't cover up the piss stain, it actually makes it look like I pissed myself all over, but, and this is critical, it does make it look like I'm dying from rhabdomyolysis. Girls love a guy who's only got 2 weeks to live, trust me, it works every time :)