October is a busy month for us. Luckily, the leadership of Dr. Buttplug has our team in high spirits.
We’re unceremoniously dumped from another cup when we’re upset by the semi-professional Edinburgh City side. (Edinburgh City FC was purely a social club with no soccer matches at all from 1955 to 1985.)
But league matches are much better to us: we beat Hamilton Academicals (a team that outlived the academy it’s named after), Greenock Morton, Raith Rovers (who once accepted an offer to get paid £300,000 in exchange for giving someone the manager’s job), and our rematch with Partick Thistle (formerly owned by a lottery winner who tried to leave the team to the fans in his will, only for the executors to say “no way” and keep the team for themselves). After a draw with league-leading Arbroath, we’re at the top of the table.
The match of the month is the insane 6-3 shootout against Raith.
Our under-18 side falls to the Wee Jambos, but they’re still in first place, too.
Stats—except money—are looking good. But we’ll make it up with TV money when we get promoted. Of course, if we don’t get promoted…