[SPOILERS] Okay, Sherlock's back...

[Lemon]

...and 90 minutes later, I wish he stayed dead.

[🍆]

I've only seen the first episode of the show so I have no idea what's happening, but it seems to have pissed off enough Tumblr fangirls to get the ever popular "wank for TS" tag poppin'.

[montrith]

I have absolutely nothing against Sherlock himself, but Sherlock+Tumblr is always a recipe for stupid.

Queerbaiting hurts because it’s just authors fucking mocking you for daring to hope that queer subtext might lead to explicit canon queer characters but “nope no representation for you you silly queers it might make cishet people uncomfortable and we value them more”

Apparently somebody posted spoilers in the wrong tags and now there's a witch hunt.

[Isfahan]

Someone please spoil for me whatever has pissed off the Tumblr fangirls, then, because I don't watch the show but I really like the idea of angry fangirls.

[Goose Goose Honk At Me Now]

SPOILERS
one of the "how he faked it" scenarios that various characters were coming up with was that Sherlock and Moriarty were in on it together and were secret boyfriends.
I laughed like the huge cunt I am.

[Moriarty]

There's also the bit where John explicitly says Sherlock was never his boyfriend. I'm sure that's pissed off plenty of people, especially given the earlier freak out over Martin Freeman's comment about the pairing never happening in the show.

On top of slash-mocking stuff, they also dedicated a fair portion of the episode to making fun of the theories people came up with about how he survived that fall.

As much as I understand the desire to make fun of Sherlock fans, it really isn't something that should have been included in the (already struggling) episode. The end result was like what you'd get if you took someone's crappy fanfic, combined it with a bunch of tumblr posts, and then had it acted out by the actual actors. It was that bad.

[Goose Goose Honk At Me Now]

I'm not going to defend it, but I did have a lot of fun watching it. Not sure what Moffat"s thing is with Derren Brown (there was also a joke reference to him in the Doctor Who 50th) but based on context I'm assuming he's the British Criss Angel.

[Odd]

Someone please spoil for me whatever has pissed off the Tumblr fangirls, then, because I don't watch the show but I really like the idea of angry fangirls.

This, please. I didn't care to watch Sherlock beyond the introduction of Moriarty and for some reason fans of British shows are like the spoilers gestapo.

[Lemon]

I'm actually really surprised that the fangirls responded so poorly, because that episode really was a love letter to the internet. Just about the entire 90 minutes was a direct response to the Tumblr People (#SherlockIsAlive), and Holmes actually has a girlfriend who actively encourages the two to be together.

After informing Watson that he's not dead, he then just randomly tells everybody else, because this whole suicide contrivance was a narrative dead end, so they just plowed through someone's house. The show spends at least half the run time mentioning and then dismissing possible ways Sherlock would have faked his death, to absolutely no end. You wanna skip explanation entirely? Fine. But there was never a 20 minute scene where Vincent and Jules talk about the various things which are not in the briefcase.

Hearing and dismissing rumors that Sherlock is alive, DI Lestrade (yes! THAT Lestrade!) is smoking in a parking ramp when a voice from the darkness says "Careful! Those things will kill you!"

Thinking he could probably do worse, Sherlock later says "Killing me? That was so two years ago!"

Later Sherlock learns about this strange thing the Hu-Mans call love, and there's a hilarious punchline about an off-switch.

This was pretty much a CBS police procedural with English accents.

[Moriarty]

After informing Watson that he's not dead, he then just randomly tells everybody else, because this whole suicide contrivance was a narrative dead end, so they just plowed through someone's house.

I don't understand why they didn't just stick with the basic explanation from the actual story and just have the one final remnant of Moriarty's network still out to kill him, with the plot of the episode dedicated to resolving that problem. There was plenty of room to shake up the specifics of the story to make it distinct from the original.

And frankly, way too many damn people knew he wasn't dead already. Mycroft? Sure. His parents? Maybe... but surely they should have at least pretended to go to the funeral? And that's not even getting into the 20+ random homeless people who were in on the secret and never let it slip to anyone during the two years that passed.

Later Sherlock learns about this strange thing the Hu-Mans call love, and there's a hilarious punchline about an off-switch.

The crap about Sherlock not understanding human nature drove me nuts. A Sherlock Holmes who doesn't understand human nature is like a Poirot who doesn't understand psychology or a Nero Wolfe who doesn't understand orchids. He's often a dick, sure, but it doesn't come from a lack of understanding of people, and he's shown executing plans that require an intimate understanding of people and how they work all the damn time. He's done it in this version, even!

This was pretty much a CBS police procedural with English accents.

Bah, even the dumber episodes of Elementary are infinitely better than this.

[Odd]

Ah. Thanks for the mansplanation. Indeed, trying to please the internet with your show is a move that usually results in a fuckup (House MD).

The crap about Sherlock not understanding human nature drove me nuts. A Sherlock Holmes who doesn't understand human nature is like a Poirot who doesn't understand psychology or a Nero Wolfe who doesn't understand orchids. He's often a dick, sure, but it doesn't come from a lack of understanding of people, and he's shown executing plans that require an intimate understanding of people and how they work all the damn time. He's done it in this version, even!

But if all his romantic issues come from not understanding love then a fangirl can write a fanfic in which she helps him get to know the wonders of love with either her self-insert or with Watson or both. Who cares about the job of Sherlock as a detective? How many fanfics do you think ever actually involve any fucking kind of mystery for him to investigate? No, it is all about looking into those dreamy eyes and whispering "I want your knot."

[Lemon]

A Sherlock Holmes who doesn't understand human nature is like a Poirot who doesn't understand psychology or a Nero Wolfe who doesn't understand orchids.

The weird thing is, after watching that episode, I went online looking for someone to blame. Community went to shit because they fired Dan Harmon, surely someone was airdropped into the writer's room to cause something this awful to be tacked onto a show that was otherwise doing a pretty good job of hitting the mark, but that totally doesn't seem to be the case. It's the same writers, the same directors, the same cast, the same ratings even. There's really no clear indicator of what the fuck happened here.

What I'm saying is, I'm probably going to watch the second episode really soon now, and I'm kind of dreading it.

[Lemon]

Ohhhhhhhhhhh fuck that.

I made it three minutes in. That was enough to know I need to stop.

[Moriarty]

Ohhhhhhhhhhh fuck that.

I made it three minutes in. That was enough to know I need to stop.

No, damn you, I will not be the only one who suffered through this thing. You didn't even get to the part where Sherlock *spoiler* spends 90% of the episode giving a horrible speech. *end spoiler*

People are declaring it the best episode of the series.

[Lemon]

I will not be the only one who suffered through this thing.

You really have only yourself to blame for his. The cold open has Lestrade (yes! THAT Lestrade!) running to answer a text message from a distressed Sherlock conveying an expression of urgency. When Lestrade gets to Baker Street, it turns out that the matter Sherlock felt was urgent wasn't actually urgent at all! Classic mislead, smash cut.

You watched that garbage, and you thought to yourself "You know? I'm gonna see where it goes from here" So you deserve everything that happened to you afterwards.