Snakes In The Ball Pit > Yay, I get to talk about me!
Strategic deployment of innovative jargon concepts
Emperor Jack Chick:
Hey Victor,
Thanks for your kind reply. My team has circled the wagons on your questions and formulated a project plan that should simplify things from your perspective. To address:
1) You are correct, and I'm fully qualified to do the job.
2) Doubly correct. The HR person who wrote this is used to writing engineering blurbs, and so it reads like one but hastily adjusted for the business side of the house.
3) You have to be a motivated self-starter who thrives in a team-environment, a hunter who is always looking for the close, something something entrepreneurial spirit, something else fast paced environment.
4) YAY
Emperor Jack Chick:
Another wonderful installment!
Develop and execute win/win negotiation strategies for large account contract renewals that maximize contract value while protecting and enhancing the customer relationship.
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Upsell needless crap when contract expires.
Maximize account growth opportunities by playing an active role to identify upsell/cross-sell opportunities upon contract renewal.
--- End quote ---
Be redundant.
Excellent written, oral and interpersonal communication skills.
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Notable because it's in the "responsibilities" section.
New posting - first up we have the first posting in desired skills & experience:
A four year degree with MS or MBA optional.
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The single most important thing they list is optional. Perfect!
Ability to evaluate and develop the existing teams and reshape it as necessary while mentoring and inspiring the team.
--- End quote ---
Ability to work independently and in a strong team environment, and to deliver on detail as well as strategy.
--- End quote ---
Great job everyone. Hit the showers.
Serve as liaison between client and business while managing expectations on processes, creative development, and project milestones
--- End quote ---
Deliver data-driven monster cockysis and recommendations that align with campaign goals and quantify high-impact opportunities with clear recommendations
--- End quote ---
Casual and fun work environment
--- End quote ---
...
Emperor Jack Chick:
From my cover letter to this company I don't really care about:
With marketing becoming such a cluttered field bereft of new excitement, I feel COMPANY's combination of quality product, smart engineering, and visionary leadership will help bring the field into the new paradigm of brand awareness.
--- End quote ---
Emperor Jack Chick:
Krux was founded with the conviction that real-time consumer data, responsibly collected and managed, will soon oxygenate not just advertising, but also content, commerce, selling and marketing across the web
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck yoooooooooooooooooooooou
EYE OF ZA:
We need to oxygenate our advertising because our marketing is getting hypertrophic and if we don't reboot our phosphates, our content and commerce tools are going to have an algal bloom.
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