ballp.it
Snakes In The Ball Pit => Yay, I get to talk about me! => Topic started by: Bunnybread on February 03, 2013, 02:07:21 pm
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Okay nerds! I like sports and you probably don't but I wanted to involve you in one of the most overblown, mega-violent, ultra-capitalist spectacles that America has ever known.
I made the poll and tried to anticipate the most frequent answers but you can comment and talk about whatever party you're attending and how drunk you are/will be or what food you're eating.... or maybe even GASP talk football!
Fuckin' vote or I'm gonna slap that D&D manual out of your hands in front of that girl you like.
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Oh yeah, I should let everyone know what I'll be doing for the big day.
I'll be chasing down Frank Gore in the backfield and hoping to disrupt the passing attack of the 49ers.
Look for me! I'm the linebacker wearing #51 and staring down Chris Culliver from across the field.
Also, regarding the D&D manual-slapping, it's assumed that the girl you like is Portaxx and she loves that nerd shit. I'm not a bully. I'm actually playing matchmaker. You can thank me later.
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I like how, for this year, all of the who-do-you-think-will-win-the-Super-Bowl polls out there on the Internet can also double as an indicator of the ratio of site visitors from the east and west coasts.
Also, I live in Maryland, so go Ravens I guess. I won't be watching. Instead I'll find out the results later and shrug. I will either say "oh cool" or "that's a shame."
I've been to Super-Bowl parties before, but it was mostly to eat wings and beer-battered onion rings.
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This week I learned that the coaches of the teams are brothers. And one wears a suit and the other one wears casual clothes, so I think the whole "football game" thing is just a mislead, and they're actually just planning out a highly rated pilot of their new show Two Coaches: It's basically an Odd Couple reboot, but with Friday Night Lights influences.
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Also, I live in Maryland, so go Ravens I guess. I won't be watching. Instead I'll find out the results later and shrug. I will either say "oh cool" or "that's a shame."
Isfahan, February 03, 2013, 02:39:41 pm
How close are you to Baltimore? I'm asking because sports fans are extra drunk and extra dumb on Superbowl Sunday and that tends to make them a little more riotish about championship games. You should maybe consider getting a gun for protection.
And, yeah Jim and John Harbaugh would make for a wonderful sitcom. John is neat and tidy whereas Jim has severe rage issues and kills John in his sleep during the third episode.
Oh yeah! Additional sub-poll! Which superbowl subtitle is more goddamn moronic? The SuperBaugh or the HarBowl?
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How close are you to Baltimore? I'm asking because sports fans are extra drunk and extra dumb on Superbowl Sunday and that tends to make them a little more riotish about championship games. You should maybe consider getting a gun for protection.bunnybread, February 03, 2013, 03:17:26 pm
Oh Bunnybread, you're adorable. I already own more guns than I do trigger fingers, which I think technically means I'm a gun nut. I think? I don't know the delineation.
However, I'm pretty far from Baltimore, so I don't think the riots will spill over into my neck of the woods. Still, it's Baltimore. Riots are how they celebrate a new TCBY opening up.
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Being a not-American, I wasn't sure what this "football" thing was all about. So I googled. This is what came up.
http://i.imgur.com/9Omxz.png
I am now more confused.
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How close are you to Baltimore? I'm asking because sports fans are extra drunk and extra dumb on Superbowl Sunday and that tends to make them a little more riotish about championship games. You should maybe consider getting a gun for protection.bunnybread, February 03, 2013, 03:17:26 pm
Oh Bunnybread, you're adorable. I already own more guns than I do trigger fingers, which I think technically means I'm a gun nut
Isfahan, February 03, 2013, 03:25:02 pm
Yeah, Kevlar-britches, that was the joke. You think I don't know about your gun shrine? Christ, I keep expecting you to pop up behind Wayne LaPierre when I'm watching C-Span.
Oh and HOLY FUCK THEY MADE A FOOTBALL FLOW CHART! I actually wish I had known about this before I started the thread. It really does seem like the ideal way to teach a sport to computer nerds. Montrith, are you some kind of internet fairy that knows what we need before we know it ourselves?
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It's my superior google skills, which actually allow me to see the future and anticipate the forthcoming need for Internet stuff. That's the only thing they thought me during 7 years of Uni.
Seriously, I confess not being able to make heads or tails about that chart. American football to me just pretty much comes down to "Some men stand grouched facing each other, until somebody blows a whistle, which is when everyone starts fighting".
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It's basically like rugby, except whenever the ball hits the ground or somebody gets knocked over, everybody takes a break.
And to celebrate the US's love of lawsuits, there's so many rules and regulations even the referee doesn't necessarily know them all, and one team or the other can be arbitrarily penalized.
I actually liked watching this. Not because I have any enjoyment of the sport, but the local pub had this electronic trivia game where you'd try to predict what the quarterback was going to do, and you'd score points based on the accuracy of your prediction. Despite having no ducks in any of the teams, I typically scored better than the majority of the college boys who could actually identify teams.
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It's basically like rugby, except whenever the ball hits the ground or somebody gets knocked over, everybody takes a break. Acierocolotl the Canada, February 03, 2013, 05:38:36 pm
In Australia, we also have the AFL which is basically: how much can you kick the ball and how far can it go
NRL: How much are you willing to pay money for the best players to nearly be knocked over before you have to pass the ball
and of course rugby (ARU).
ARU: How many Australians does it take to win a rugby game? 5 sponsers and some airplanes.
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American football to me just pretty much comes down to "Some men stand grouched facing each other, until somebody blows a whistle, which is when everyone starts fighting".
montrith, February 03, 2013, 04:36:11 pm
Naw, baby, that's hockey. We like to induce concussions within the normal gameplay.
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Meh, this Aussie doesn't mind NFL.
The Superbowl is crazy though, with the cheerleaders and colour guards and crossing to the troops at Camp Freedom, Afpakistan and the African-American lady octave-juggling the Star Spangled Banner and what was that guy doing with the archery poses?
Also weirded out by all the people on the sidelines. Are they all referees and stewards? Do you need that many people? Kinda distracting for the players no?
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The only sports I care for are football and formula one, and by football I mean what-ho cup of tea top of the mornin' to ya football. I've never understood handegg either, all I know is that they like to shout seemingly random numbers and run into each other as much as possible. What even IS the Superbowl? Do they get to eat their cheerios the next day in some kind of gold encrusted food holding device?
...Oh and I like professional wrestling too but LOLthat'snotasportit'sallfakeetcetc.
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Ok, got back to a computer for a few seconds. Let's see how well I can type when drunk and rushed. Uhhh.... NotM-I used to like the Aussie Football when I was in Perth a while back. The shorts were a bit too revealing (I like to stay in denial about my homosexuality) but the hitting and speed of the game was pretty good.
Acier, you and I will take in a CFL game some day and we will get so trashed you will not remember the game, just like a normal football experience.
Horza, we need all those sideline people because all the other jobs have been outsourced by big business in America. Also, do you guys still call it 'Grid Iron' football?
Tophat, the superbowl is a normal bowl by day but it puts on a mask and a cape at night and keeps America safe from crime.
NOW, additional Sub-poll time.
Halftime Show Thoughts:
1)Wow, Destiny's Child is back again forever!!!
2)That sparking guitar was the dumbest thing I've seen in a sporting contest that celebrates concussions.
3)Man, the background music for Beyonce's crotch ballet recital was awesome.
4)This football shit is interrupting a remarkable concert.
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ADDITIONAL ADDITIONAL SUB-POLL TIME.
Thoughts on the power outage:
1)Oh shit, is Bane in the building? (Nerds, I know my audience and I hope you appreciate the effort)
2)Is the blackout in honor of black history month? I don't understand American holidays.
3)Wow, still feeling the effects of Katrina, huh?
4)Fuckit, let's just get to 'Elementary' and canonize Ray Lewis, already.
5)I don't think the Superdome was ready for that jelly.
6)Betcha there's not a blackout at the Puppybowl.
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Fuckin' vote or I'm gonna slap that D&D manual out of your hands in front of that girl you like.
bunnybread, February 03, 2013, 02:07:21 pm
Funny you should say that. My D&D game was today. My halfling rogue went up a level, and killed a manticore!
I didn't pay attention to Superbowl because the Packers weren't in it this year.
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Funny you should say that. My D&D game was today. My halfling rogue went up a level, and killed a manticore!
I didn't pay attention to Superbowl because the Packers weren't in it this year.
NutshellGulag, February 03, 2013, 08:09:25 pm
First, you should be a Seahawks fan, woman!
Second, the Packers are actually a good organization and I will openly say that as a Bears fan!
Third, who thinks that they smuggled in the real 49ers team during the power outage?
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My halfling rogue went up a level, and killed a manticore!NutshellGulag, February 03, 2013, 08:09:25 pm
Is that difficult for a halfling rogue to do?
(this thread is now about D&D btw)
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This is the thing with the dogs, right? I was too busy being a Bird Bard to watch. Also too busy not liking televised sports, because sports are only fun if you are in the pep band.
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I always called it grid iron to differentiate it with football which over here translates to soccer.
What's funny though is that reading tweets about the superbowl doesn't actually tell me who is winning, just shows what's going on in the halftime show.
Anyone remember the Black Eyed Peas? No? Ok.
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I always called it grid iron to differentiate it with football which over here translates to soccer.
What's funny though is that reading tweets about the superbowl doesn't actually tell me who is winning, just shows what's going on in the halftime show.
Anyone remember the Black Eyed Peas? No? Ok.
Notm, February 03, 2013, 09:45:40 pm
So is AFL just referred to as Aussie Rules, then?
And regarding the tweetery, yeah, I just had a gal ask me "did Beyonce win?" when I said the game had ended.
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Yeah, it's also Aussie Rules.
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Randy Moss didn't get a ring. Thus, I am happy.
BTW, Aussie Rules is fricking amazing. I try to watch it whenever I can. It's the perfect combination of violence, nonsense, and muscular thighs in short shorts.
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Randy Moss didn't get a ring. Thus, I am happy.
Dacey Mormont, February 03, 2013, 10:24:05 pm
Yeah, it was kind of tough to decide on which team to hate more. You got "greatest in his own mind" Randy Moss on one side and Ray "The Lord Is Clearly On My Side" Lewis on the other. I already disliked the furious, spitting Tasmanian devil known as Jim Harbaugh and Chris "gays gotta get up outta here" Culliver was the deciding factor so it was a mild pro-Baltimore stance from me. Good game, though. I'm always happy with a Superbowl that isn't a blow out.
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Randy Moss didn't get a ring. Thus, I am happy.
Dacey Mormont, February 03, 2013, 10:24:05 pm
Yeah, it was kind of tough to decide on which team to hate more. You got "greatest in his own mind" Randy Moss on one side and Ray "The Lord Is Clearly On My Side" Lewis on the other. I already disliked the furious, spitting Tasmanian devil known as Jim Harbaugh and Chris "gays gotta get up outta here" Culliver was the deciding factor so it was a mild pro-Baltimore stance from me. Good game, though. I'm always happy with a Superbowl that isn't a blow out.
bunnybread, February 03, 2013, 11:52:56 pm
I'm a Vikings fan, so my Moss grudge will always win out over my distaste for egotastic, Jesus-baiting, deer horn imbibing, (alleged) murderers. Yes, that's right. Embarrassing my team is worse than (alleged) murder. SPORTS!
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Randy Moss didn't get a ring. Thus, I am happy.
Dacey Mormont, February 03, 2013, 10:24:05 pm
I'm a Vikings fan, so my Moss grudge will always win out over my distaste for egotastic, Jesus-baiting, deer horn imbibing, (alleged) murderers. Yes, that's right. Embarrassing my team is worse than (alleged) murder. SPORTS!
Dacey Mormont, February 04, 2013, 08:55:30 pm
Well, the send off was good for Ray Lewis and I'm happy that he can devote himself to murder full time, now that football isn't there to get in the way.
Actually, odds are that Randy Moss will retire after this, too. He hasn't exactly been one to persevere through tough times. Then again, he still thinks that he's the fucking greatest wideout ever and might just believe in his own immortality.
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Wow. That was an awesome game! My imaginary money was on the 49ers (I heard they were previously undefeated in the Superbowl) but the boys in purple held em off and gave their own Harbaugh a much-deserved win. The defense looked like they were struggling against Kaepernick and his runningback duo but, really, who hasn't struggled against them? On the other hand, Joe Flacco now joins Joe Namath and Joe Montana as the latest "Joe Cool" who led his team to Disney World. Flacco was pretty much pure perfection and justifies my crush on him (although it only started because of his resemblance to Ernie's sexy cool roommate Bert). I really think of football as a turn-based strategy game since they all set up and get in position and then the QB yells 'Hike' and you watch the move play out. The Superbowl was really just Final Fantasy Tactics played with less Wizards and Priests and more Knights.
Which now that I think about it, some team needs to adopt the Chocobo as its mascot.
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What the hell just happened?
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What the hell just happened?
Boots Raingear, February 05, 2013, 02:06:12 pm
I think Portaxx was kidnapped and her captors are trying to cover it up.
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I told her to change her password.
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Why does nobody believe it's me??!?!
LISTEN IF I MENTIONED THE POWER OUTAGE IN REFERENCE TO HOW IT TOTALLY LOOKED LIKE TEAM ROCKET STORMED THE PLACE, WOULD IT MAKE YOU HAPPY?? Seriously I expected the loudspeakers to announce "Prepare for trouble! And make it double!"
Speaking of which, I'm totally getting Pokemon X when it comes out. I'll probably get Fennekin as the starter but it looks like EVERYONE'S going for Fennekin, you know? Oh well, it'll keep up the tradition of going Grass, Water, Fire for the starters for every new generation. Last time I picked Oshawott so yeah, Fire's next!
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Portaxx, you do realize this means a whole new generation of pokegirls, right?
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The porn of Fennekin showed up within an hour of the reveal. Never mind that is basically bestiality on a chihuahua sized dog. Pokegirls are sure to be here within a month.