Now you listen here Jack, I don't want any damn 'gluten free'! I'll tell you why, it's cause the gluten free femenizes you and turns yer sperm gay. And when yer sperm turn gay they get busy screwin' each other inside yer cajones and then they get pregnant and start havin' little baby sperms, then before you know it yer nuts're swolen up the size of basket balls and you can't drive yer damn truck. Then yer chicken tenders get so big they explode and you gotta set to work growin' a new pair and let me tell you, I had these ones my whole life so I don't plan on startin' over.
So get me some jelly beans without no gluten free in them, or I'm sendin' you the bill fer my nuts from the hospital.