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Projects => The F Plus => Topic started by: Lemon on June 28, 2014, 01:19:25 pm

Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Lemon on June 28, 2014, 01:19:25 pm
with Boots Raingear, Frank West, Acierocolotl, Adam Bozarth, and Lemon.
Content for this episode was compiled by Runic.
Edited by Lemon.
With sex still being something of a taboo subject, feelings of sexual inadequacy can be complicated. Are you emotionally strong enough to provide a sexual experience that's mutually enjoyed as adventure, discovery, love and combat? Probably not, so how about you just yank on your wang for about 12 hours and see if that makes things any better. This is the topic of penis enlargement. Does it work? You might be surprised to find out how inconsequential the answer to that question is. This week, The F Plus LOVES THE BEACH!
   
MUSIC USED
The Hyltonaires - Big Bamboo
Fred Schneider & Shake Street - Monster
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Runic on June 28, 2014, 01:37:25 pm
To use the search functions on the forums and access some of the subforums I had to get a user account. Tragically, the entry field was not long enough for me to use Undercover Penis Lover as my username. I consider this to be the most damning indictment of Thunder's Places I can imagine.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: nigeline on June 28, 2014, 01:53:10 pm
Adam and Frank - Hooray!
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Runic on June 28, 2014, 02:38:17 pm
Just to clarify a few points, Jelqing is kind of like jerking it except more painful and tedious. This is a very very NSFW gif of a man using an automatic Jelqing device (http://strongerdick.tumblr.com/post/27994112465/animated-gif-showing-how-to-use-a-jelq-device-for) that demonstrates sort of the basic thing that they're doing. There are lots (many many) threads on that forum about Jelqing causing brusing and discoloration. One of the threads in my doc that wasn't read is titled "Shedding the Snake: Peeling to Remove Discoloration." When you are crushing aspirins to use as as chemical exfoliates on your dick I think you might have a problem.

Also I really should have included a picture of an All Day Stretcher. The ones I've found literally look like tiny stretchers, the kind that you'd carry an injured person on, but attached to your dick. The idea is that you just wear this thing on your dick for hours at a time. It's kind of like when I was a kid and I thought that I could grow taller by hanging on the monkey bars, except for the dick. That is the level of logic that they are working with.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Acierocolotl on June 28, 2014, 02:52:09 pm
So to make things light, this was a user's profile picture:

(http://ao.kalimonster.net/pix/misc/penis_3709.gif)

And the rest of this was surprisingly dark.  I was really expecting this document to be a bunch of weird stuff like subliminal messages to make your bamboo all bigger, and what we actually found was so much horror.  It was trivially easy to find things like "This penis stretcher broke my dick, here's ten thousand pictures of my fractured boner, I've been ejaculating blood."
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: STOG on June 28, 2014, 03:42:28 pm
"What is my point? I wasn’t able to think my cock bigger."

When civilization finally collapses and all of our toys are left alone to the elements, I want to make sure this is etched into the biggest, blackest monolith I can find.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: A Meat on June 28, 2014, 04:38:50 pm
I'm honestly glad that there wasn't more "Help! I might have irreversibly messed my penis up!" threads, because from my experience making a completely different doc, they're all exactly the same, they all go along the lines of the original posters going "I did something I really shouldn't have done and now I'm bleeding/in pain!" and everyone answering a variation on "It's fine, keep doing it, nothing wrong will happen.", regrettably with an occasional "post a pic of your mangled dick so we can diagnose it please"
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: TheCrawlingChaos on June 28, 2014, 05:33:18 pm
My sole regret about this one is that Victor wasn't here to be horrified from a more in-depth technical perspective. Apart from that, you guys were awesome, as was Runic for compiling this horror.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: cyclopeantrash on June 28, 2014, 08:06:44 pm
An entire episode about dicks and Bunnybread wasn't on the ridiculist roster. What sort of sick joke is this?

Also I suggest the tag "good for towel hangin" for this episode.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: KingKalamari on June 28, 2014, 08:32:32 pm
An entire episode about dicks and Bunnybread wasn't on the ridiculist roster. What sort of sick joke is this?

Also I suggest the tag "good for towel hangin" for this episode.
MISANDRY CANNON, June 28, 2014, 08:06:44 pm

I would like to recommend the tag "Literal dick measuring contest".
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on June 28, 2014, 09:38:00 pm
That term "jelqing" is uncomfortably close to a fake swear word that a former friend/douchebag self-published author made up for his gross nonsensical fantasy saga.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: AlbieQuirky on June 29, 2014, 12:48:06 am
That term "jelqing" is uncomfortably close to a fake swear word that a former friend/douchebag self-published author made up for his gross nonsensical fantasy saga.
CuddlePLEASE MAKE IT STOP RAINING, June 28, 2014, 09:38:00 pm

You really need to bring enough to share with the class!
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: montrith on June 29, 2014, 03:04:01 am
Do we have a "I hate my genitals" tag? Cause we need one.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Down10 on June 29, 2014, 04:05:05 am
A tag for "self-loathing" should suffice.

I couldn't help but click on the link to the GIF that Runic posted. One of the rebloggers on that page was worstthingsontheinternet.tumblr.com (NSFW!!!), and they really could not be more aptly named. Go there if you have an iron stomach and get perverse thrills from looking at the weirdest fucking shit in the world.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Down10 on June 29, 2014, 04:17:03 am
BTW, I want to give thanks for all the deadpan innuendo that the Ridiculists made during this episode regarding lengths and polls and such. It made it easier for me to chuckle along to it like Beavis and Butthead.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on June 29, 2014, 08:23:09 am
That term "jelqing" is uncomfortably close to a fake swear word that a former friend/douchebag self-published author made up for his gross nonsensical fantasy saga.
CuddlePLEASE MAKE IT STOP RAINING, June 28, 2014, 09:38:00 pm

You really need to bring enough to share with the class!
AlbieQuirky, June 29, 2014, 12:48:06 am
Well, okay! (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dtRLhqU3Ml0C2rkf_hRVL7xH7C-p_GNQ1pnvWaFiny0/edit?usp=sharing)

Edited to clarify: "Jelt" is his made-up swear word. It apparently comes from the letters that magic users sign with their fingers which conjures up a spell to wipe their butts after they poop.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Yossarian on June 29, 2014, 12:26:14 pm
So the irony of all this jelqing shit is that aside from the clearly damaged gear with all the blood and boomerang shaped dicks you also get a lot of guys who end up with TMS and lose functionality. What do you mean mashing my penis might break it?
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: JT on June 29, 2014, 05:14:30 pm
worstthingsontheinternet.tumblr.com (NSFW!!!)
Down10, June 29, 2014, 04:05:05 am
At first I was like, "Oh this isn't bad actually." Then I got to the one with the girl tonguing the prolapsed anus.

Also, I looked up the person who drew the Asexual Pride image and man his deviantART does not disappoint. (http://crystals1986.deviantart.com/gallery/)
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: crow on June 29, 2014, 05:45:21 pm
worstthingsontheinternet.tumblr.com (NSFW!!!)
Down10, June 29, 2014, 04:05:05 am
At first I was like, "Oh this isn't bad actually." Then I got to the one with the girl tonguing the prolapsed anus.

Also, I looked up the person who drew the Asexual Pride image and man his deviantART does not disappoint. (http://crystals1986.deviantart.com/gallery/)
JT, June 29, 2014, 05:14:30 pm

Ok, so crystals1986 is an odd case because he only started with his "long finger crystal treatments" when he met someone with Marfan Syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marfan_syndrome), a disease that makes your limbs unusually long.  At Something Awful, we eventually decided that he was someone with a mental disorder trying to process why his friend was dying.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: JT on June 29, 2014, 06:12:47 pm
Ah... bummer.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: nigeline on June 29, 2014, 06:19:59 pm
worstthingsontheinternet.tumblr.com (NSFW!!!)
Down10, June 29, 2014, 04:05:05 am
At first I was like, "Oh this isn't bad actually." Then I got to the one with the girl tonguing the prolapsed anus.

Also, I looked up the person who drew the Asexual Pride image and man his deviantART does not disappoint. (http://crystals1986.deviantart.com/gallery/)
JT, June 29, 2014, 05:14:30 pm
I love how there's a random picture of his KFC box amongst the lovely drawings. Somehow heightens the whole collection.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Bobalay on June 29, 2014, 07:34:54 pm
since Runic put this together, I can't help wondering what the Neo-Marxist interpretation of jelqing is.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Runic on June 29, 2014, 09:09:44 pm
since Runic put this together, I can't help wondering what the Neo-Marxist interpretation of jelqing is.
Bobalay, June 29, 2014, 07:34:54 pm
There isn't one, these guys are just fucking crazy.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: crow on June 29, 2014, 09:57:24 pm
since Runic put this together, I can't help wondering what the Neo-Marxist interpretation of jelqing is.
Bobalay, June 29, 2014, 07:34:54 pm

In the communist future, there is no competition for penises
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Isfahan on June 29, 2014, 10:22:33 pm
From each according to his fragility, to each according to his seed.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Cat Planet on June 30, 2014, 03:06:42 am
God damn it, just as I started to assemble a document on foreskin restoration...
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Zsa Zsa on June 30, 2014, 03:56:53 am
SIN EP, SIN EP,
TEG REGGIB REGGIB!
EMOC NO, SIN EP,
WORG PU, FFUP PU, TOOHS PU!
GNIRPS PU, WOLB PU, LLEWS PU!
EGROG! ELZZUG! FFUTS! PLUG!
TUP NO TAF, SIN EP, TUP NO TAF!
TEG NO, TEG NO! ELBBOG DOOF!

Pensises are very backward creatures.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: AlbieQuirky on June 30, 2014, 08:03:16 am
That term "jelqing" is uncomfortably close to a fake swear word that a former friend/douchebag self-published author made up for his gross nonsensical fantasy saga.
CuddlePLEASE MAKE IT STOP RAINING, June 28, 2014, 09:38:00 pm

You really need to bring enough to share with the class!
AlbieQuirky, June 29, 2014, 12:48:06 am
Well, okay! (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dtRLhqU3Ml0C2rkf_hRVL7xH7C-p_GNQ1pnvWaFiny0/edit?usp=sharing)

Edited to clarify: "Jelt" is his made-up swear word. It apparently comes from the letters that magic users sign with their fingers which conjures up a spell to wipe their butts after they poop.
Cuddleclobbermonger, June 29, 2014, 08:23:09 am

Does not disappoint. I was aware of this guy's horrendous cosplay; I never knew he had equally distinguished writing abilities. What a Renaissance man.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Mister Smalls on June 30, 2014, 12:32:04 pm
In addition to Black Street and House of Leaves references, we need to have a counter for Jim Rose Circus name-drops.
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Cat Planet on July 01, 2014, 02:15:01 am
Come to think of it, these people are probably doing more permanent damage to their genitals than the ballbusting crew...
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Bobalay on July 01, 2014, 12:20:38 pm
Come to think of it, these people are probably doing more permanent damage to their genitals than the ballbusting crew...
Aevi, July 01, 2014, 02:15:01 am

"I got this great new PE technique! Okay, you need a PVC pipe and a car battery..."
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: 🍆 on July 02, 2014, 01:40:58 am
I started making a jelqing doc ages ago, but couldn't get more than a few pages into a  LPSG thread before I gave up. Congrats to Runic for going far further than I dared. Guess that means I can delete it off my iPod notes (not that anyone who looked at it would know what the fuck it was, since they picked a name that sounds like either a comic book villain or an '80s throwback aerobic craze)
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Runic on July 02, 2014, 11:29:36 am
As great as this has all been I can't help but feel I've forgotten something. Oh! I remember!


There we go!
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Cat Planet on February 12, 2015, 05:35:36 pm
I realise I'm necro posting but I reaaaally wonder what most people in the PE community will have to say about this (http://www.medicaldaily.com/size-matters-teen-undergoes-worlds-first-penis-reduction-surgery-have-sex-321952).
Title: Episode 141: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Scrote
Post by: Yavuz on March 29, 2019, 09:56:37 am
jelqing throughout history https://twitter.com/athenogenes/status/1111641973750931456