ballp.it
Snakes In The Ball Pit => Yay, I get to talk about me! => Topic started by: Lemon on June 27, 2018, 02:48:15 pm
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Bleary eyed, you prop yourself up on your elbows and look around the room, specifically the totality of the bed you're currently in. There lying next to you, still sound asleep, is a man who looks rather post-coital and whom, you immediately remark to yourself, "that sure does like Kid Rock". You stare for a moment longer and think "like a lot. This guy looks a lot like Kid Rock."
Now is not the time for you to think about how you got into this situation, that's something you'll have to deal with later, and you'll have plenty of time for that. But in this moment, two possibilities loom in your mind:
- You just had sex with Kid Rock
- You just had sex with a guy who looks identical to Kid Rock, and who might be a Kid Rock impersonator
In this last quiet moment you have to yourself before waking him, which do you hope it will be?
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Well, whatever downward spiral has led me to hunt down Kid Rock clones in what would probably be some sort of horse barn converted into a country dance bar on a Saturday night, I'd take my chances with the impersonator. Because although I don't know his personality or politics (outlook is poor, he impersonates Kid Rock), I know for damn sure the actual Kid Rock is a piece of shit. Also the actual Kid Rock is used to overeager groupies, so he probably wouldn't be that equitable in bed.
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Option 2; that way lies hope.
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i'm going to jail, that lying bastard told me they were Adult Rock
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i'm going to jail, that lying bastard told me they were Adult Rock
GirlKisser420, June 27, 2018, 05:01:29 pm
Jail Bait Rock
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Option one is the only one that allows me create a world where Kid Rock doesn't exist and will go down in history as having died from autoerotic asphyxiation jacking it to Brickleberry rule 34.
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this scenario is completely unbelievable and thus i refuse to partake.
uncle kracker on the other hand...
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to be honest, I would probably fail to recognize either of them, since I only have the vaguest idea of what Kid Rock looks like nowadays, I'm gonna assume he looks like he did 15 years ago, but more like a zombie
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I mean it's not Chuck from the Circle K's fault that he looks exactly like Kid Rock. He could do a better job of shaving if it really bothered him though.
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I hope it's Kid Rock because what's done is done and having sex with Kid Rock is a lot funnier than having sex with a guy that looks like Kid Rock
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Option 2 where he wakes up and reveals that the real Kid Rock died years ago and that the government is covering it up for reasons of national security. Also they’re using clones?
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I look into the mirror and, uh oh, what's this, I ALSO look like Kid Rock! Oh no!
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I look into the mirror and, uh oh, what's this, I ALSO look like Kid Rock! Oh no!
Frank West, June 28, 2018, 12:03:11 pm
Then the other kid rock explodes and you wait for someone else to enter the inescapable death chamber
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The impersonator, because I can chalk that one up to beer goggles. If it's the actual Kid Rock that means beer goggles AND a brain tumor.
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Either way they're getting smothered by a pillow