I'm not sure the definitions we're using here, but
Crank: High Voltage is a stunning piece of cinema. Once upon a time, someone made a movie where Jason Statham has to constantly experience adrenaline highs or he'll die. Then someone else said this out loud: "That movie we made about the guy who consantly had to experience adrenaline? I think we should make a sequel but make it more over the top."
The very first scene in the movie and Jason Statham is dead. He's brought back to life and now he needs to keep electrocuting himself or he'll die again, at which point they'll need to imagine something even more preposterous.
Bai Ling plays the role she was destined to play: Crack Whore. Ginger Spice slaps a child. Jason Statham fucks Amy Smart in the middle of a racetrack. There's a... Actually, let me just copy/paste this paragraph.
Chelios is dragged behind a motorboat to an island where El Hurón awaits. It is revealed that El Hurón is, in fact, the brother of Ricky and Alex Verona, both of whom Chelios killed in the first film. He reveals Ricky Verona's head is being kept alive long enough to watch El Hurón kill Chelios. El Hurón is about to kill Chelios when Orlando, Venus and Ria show up, each with their own group of gunfighters. As a gunfight ensues, Verona's head is killed by Chelios. As Chelios starts to slow down, he climbs a nearby telephone pole and grabs a pair of live wires to recharge. He is flung off the pole and set on fire by the massive current. While on fire, he kills El Hurón. Chelios walks towards the camera, giving the middle finger to the audience in the final moment of the film.Quote from
This movie was written by two naked men sharing a desk drawer full of cocaine. They wrote the entire script in a four-day weekend. One would hammer on the Macbook Pro keyboard with hands permanently frozen in claw formation, which sometimes would lead to words being typed, but other times it would add more quarters into the pornographic virtual pachinko game they also had running on the computer the the whole time. The other would stand a few inches behind the writer, furiously stroking both their cocks and shouting words of encouragement like "Yeah man, fuckin' yeah! You fucking
wrote that!" After a few hours, they'd switch places. The laptop died and it took them three hours to notice. Twice, they forced themselves to sleep, but later agreed the decision was detrimental to their process.
After the script was financed, it was time to start filming. The writers of Crank:High Voltage are also the directors (it's a auteur project, as the results will demonstrate), and so those same two men were on set every day. The studio had complained about their public nudity, and so they both stood behind cameras wearing filthy long sleeve Motley Crue tour shirts around their waists as loin cloths. A collaborative team, they would trade off duties of Crew and Talent. Handling the crew meant rummaging through all the electrical equipment to see if anything had an intensity setting that could be turned up (frequently the answer is no, sometimes they would glue shit on). Handling the Talent meant providing the actors with helpful notes like "Act the
shit out of this bitch, Statham!" "Imagine the audience
literally shitting themselves blind, and then make them shit!"
For focus groups, they managed to get a test-screening made up entirely of people who were just about to go bungee jumping. Instead of the THX logo, the movie started with an instructional film that said "If the bathroom doors are locked.
PISS YOUR PANTS!". Many did. After the screening, instead of handing out opinion cards, the directors brought the audience into a room and said "If you didn't like the movie, you can punch me in the face. If you
liked the movie,
feel free to punch me in the fucking face!" The studio received the data of 100% face-punching rate among viewers and released the film. It lost ten million dollars.
A few of those facts are not true, but are facts nonetheless.