Episode 136: This Testes My Limits

[Lemon]

with Boots Raingear, Adam Bozarth, Jack Chick, Kumquatxop, Adam Bozarth, and Lemon.

Content for this episode was compiled by cyberventurer.

Edited by Jimmyfranks.

Sometimes it's difficult to write these episode synopses, so let's do this one direct: This is the ball busting episode. Horrible things happens to balls throughout this episode, which is shorter than most. This week, The F Plus won't let you visit your dragon grandmother.

[junior associate faguar]

Holy shit, after how grossed out the last episode made people, I thought I was immune to what the F Plus could throw at me. I was wrong.

[Cyberventurer]

Whoa, I gave up on that doc ages ago.  I didn't think you'd find it usable since it all felt so samey after a while.

[A Meat]

Why was the dragon ball busting poem better than 90% of the poems in the poems episode?

[Emperor Jack Chick]

Why was the dragon ball busting poem better than 90% of the poems in the poems episode?

Years of listening to bands like Amputated Genitals and Cock & Ball Torture left me in a unique position to read that with the proper inflection.

[Ambious]

I found the episode surprisingly easy to listen to. Didn't cringe even once.
Either I've become jaded in my old age or those stories were so completely insane and out-there that it didn't even register as reality.

Why was the dragon ball busting poem better than 90% of the poems in the poems episode?

That was brilliant.

[cube abuser]

the genital torture thing is whatever. what really weirded me out about this episode was the insane contraptions these guys built to beat up their nuts. like... is punching your own nuts not good enough? why would you ever need to engineer a ball destroying machine??

[Lady Frenzy]

the genital torture thing is whatever. what really weirded me out about this episode was the insane contraptions these guys built to beat up their nuts. like... is punching your own nuts not good enough? why would you ever need to engineer a ball destroying machine??

See: the entire sex toy industry.

[Ansemaru]

Something about the idea of putting a potato in a sock to hit yourself in the balls has gone from horrifying back to delightfully absurd. "No, you can't use an apple, you heathen! Do you want to never come? A potato in a sock is the height of eroticism!"

[Yossarian]

[Mister Smalls]

why is this happenih-hih-hiiiiing

[🍆]

 I'm definitely starting to notice a pattern with English people and masochistic, self-loathing fetishes. Is this an extension of that gloomy self-depricating national attitude? You guyyyys. You've done plenty of stuff you can be proud of. You make good movies and hangover food and you invented soccer even if you maybe aren't as good at it as you wish you were. You don't have to lock yourself in garbage bins and smash your balls with potatoes. You're better than that.

[Mister Smalls]

I'm definitely starting to notice a pattern with English people and masochistic, self-loathing fetishes. Is this an extension of that gloomy self-depricating national attitude? You guyyyys. You've done plenty of stuff you can be proud of. You make good movies and hangover food and you invented soccer even if you maybe aren't as good at it as you wish you were. You don't have to lock yourself in garbage bins and smash your balls with potatoes. You're better than that.

To misquote John Oliver from the introductions to BBC America DVDs, when you take a class-based society with no ability to express its emotions and let it simmer for a thousand years, you get the perfect recipe for sexual interests in degradation and physical harm.

[STOG]

"I'm going to kill everyone inside!" screamed the bank robber, firing his assault rifle out the window for effect.

"No! Don't do it. It won't help you."

"Help!?" screamed the bank robber. "What would help me now!?"

"Listen. I know you're a good person. The people inside with you are good people too. Nobody wants to lose here. Just name anything you want. Do you want to call your family? Do you want pizza? I can call right now and we can deliver some pizza."

The bank robber paused, holding his megaphone away from his mouth for just one second.

"Just say the word," said the sniper over the secure channel to the negotiator. "Just say the word, and I'll have him gone."

The bank robber rose the megaphone to his lips.

"I know who you are, BustyBalls236."

The crowd of cops gasped. The negotiator's face turned gray from terror.

"I know all about your ball-busting fanfiction. I saw your five-chapter My Little Pony/Transformers crossover, where a femboy Twilight Sparkle has his balls crushed under Optimus Prime's foot. Femboy!Twilight even asks the robot to make a robotic whirring noise while he does it. And I liked it. I even left a review on it on Fanfiction.net."

The negotiator almost fainted. But somehow, he found the courage to go on.

"That would make you MyBallsAreAPinata then."

"I think you know what I want. I know I am going to jail, BustyBalls236. I have fired an automatic weapon on federal premises, and I know I am going to be put into a high security prison for that. So here's what you're going to do. You're going to write some One Piece ball-busting fanfiction. I will not release the hostages until you do. And send some pizza over. I get hungry when I get horny."

The bank robber closed the window, activated the metal shutters on the windows.

"Shoot him," said the negotiator to the sniper.

"Fuck that," said the sniper. "You write fanfiction about ponies getting their balls squashed? I wanna see."

"Please," said the negotiator.

[chai tea latte]

thanks STOG