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Projects => The F Plus => Topic started by: Lemon on February 28, 2015, 05:15:59 pm

Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Lemon on February 28, 2015, 05:15:59 pm
with Boots Raingear Bunnybread Jack Chick Kumquatxop and Lemon
content for this episode was compiled by Montrith
edited by Lemon.

You've probably come up with your own beliefs on sex, politics, race, religion, and capitalism, but you're about to realize that all of those beliefs are wrong. And maybe that reads like a strong declaration, but I bet it would be even stronger if was in 24pt Times New Roman orange bold italics. We're reading the personal website of John Kitchin, a homelesss Ph.D with a lot of ideas and just as much anger. This week, The F Plus is sick of binary code.

MUSIC USED:
ponDeter - Call Me A Hole(Nine Inch Nails vs. Carly Rae Jespen)
Sneaker Pimps - Think Harder
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Geremy Tibbles on February 28, 2015, 06:14:56 pm
Oh man.

I fucking love me some good old fashioned crazy.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Mister Smalls on February 28, 2015, 06:34:18 pm
I think the story of how Dr. John Kitchin became homeless was adapted into Better Call Saul.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: crow on February 28, 2015, 07:00:16 pm
The part about Jesus being the bastard son of a centurion is an old Pagan claim against Jesus being the son of a virgin.  Justin Martyr offers a refutation of this in his Apology.

Just thought you would want to know
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Neal on February 28, 2015, 08:09:39 pm
BEST STINGER EVER
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: STOG on February 28, 2015, 09:02:29 pm
IS IT TRUE THE INTERNET WILL DIE FROM SELFISHNESS?
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Puppy Time on February 28, 2015, 10:44:09 pm
This is the second best birthday present ever!
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Macho Masc Sangy Savage on February 28, 2015, 10:45:39 pm
Thanks for the new ringtone - the post podcast clip on loop will be perfect for scaring off everyone within a 5 ft radius
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Odd on February 28, 2015, 11:17:29 pm
Thanks for the new ringtone - the post podcast clip on loop will be perfect for scaring off everyone within a 5 ft radius
Sanguinary Novel, February 28, 2015, 10:45:39 pm
That is a fantastic idea.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: TheCrawlingChaos on February 28, 2015, 11:51:16 pm
Oh my glob this was wonderful. By the end bumper I was literally crying with laughter--the IQ test alone nearly made me choke on my food. Thank you so much for a truly enjoyable evening following a grueling Saturday in the food service industry.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Navigator on March 01, 2015, 01:03:51 pm
Hyper Kumquatxop might be my favorite ridiculist voice ever.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: montrith on March 01, 2015, 03:18:34 pm
Oh my glob this was wonderful. By the end bumper I was literally crying with laughter--the IQ test alone nearly made me choke on my food. Thank you so much for a truly enjoyable evening following a grueling Saturday in the food service industry.
TheCrawlingChaos, February 28, 2015, 11:51:16 pm

Since you work with food, can you tell us exactly how much blood and semen is used daily by your average restaurant?
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on March 01, 2015, 03:46:14 pm
Oh my goodness I'm in fucking tears, this episode is INSANE!!!
This might be my favorite thing ever since Time Cube.
I love how he goes out of his way:
(http://i.imgur.com/VxYOaIm.jpg)

ph: NONE

Dare we venture to his Twitter?

Edit: I did,  this is he:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/3659783665/b3bcddac9b905836df9b6b6a1302468e.jpeg)

Also, he's allegedly an ex-police detective!
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Neal on March 01, 2015, 04:55:32 pm
Also, he's allegedly an ex-police detective!
Ambious, March 01, 2015, 03:46:14 pm

Now I want him to be Rob the Advice Parrot's former partner.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Cat Planet on March 01, 2015, 05:13:17 pm
Wow, this is one of my new favorite episodes! Usually I'm not a fan of the crazy people stuff since they tend to be incoherent and focus on usual schizo subjects (Government/Jews/Illuminati) but this one was something magical. He is pretty coherent for a crazy person. Someone on SA quoted the unread bits, one of which is

I once went in for psychiatric monster cockysis (mentioned above) and the physician tried to make the case that I was schizophrenic. I could barely keep from laughing, and he didn't know that I'm a psychologist. He wanted to give me an anti-psychotic drug, which would have certainly brought me under control, as a vegetable. I told him I suffered from ADD and he said that there is no such disease. (Common belief among religious quack psychiatrists, such as the kind our military uses.) Ok, I said, Adult Autism. Here, he cannot say that Autism does not exist as a disease. I went on to suggest that without any delusions nor hallucinations, his diagnosis of schizophrenia was, in itself, a schizophrenic thought on his part. That shut him up, because it made perfect clinical sense all the way around.

Well, doesn't that explain an awful lot.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: montrith on March 01, 2015, 06:41:51 pm
Yeah, that was me. I'm Klavarskribo on SA cause I like to keep my stupid Internet comments separated.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: LINDA on March 01, 2015, 06:42:13 pm
kumquat's manic verbal flailing was unfuckingbelievable
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: crow on March 01, 2015, 08:55:47 pm
Yeah, that was me. I'm Klavarskribo on SA cause I like to keep my stupid Internet comments separated.
montrith, March 01, 2015, 06:41:51 pm

GAR-
BAGE-
DICK
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: chai tea latte on March 01, 2015, 09:47:07 pm
GRBJ DICK knuckle tats
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Mistress Eva on March 01, 2015, 10:37:01 pm
This is one of the best episodes in a long time (and that is saying something). FUCKING MAGICAL.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on March 02, 2015, 12:57:12 am
Episode's great! But why is everyone raving about it having such an awesome sting--oh. Oh my. Ohhhhh my yes.

8D
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: EYE OF ZA on March 02, 2015, 09:57:00 am
Episode's great! But why is everyone raving about it having such an awesome sting--oh. Oh my. Ohhhhh my yes HELLO YES HI YES HI URAAGH HI

8D
portaxx, March 02, 2015, 12:57:12 am
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: advancedclass on March 02, 2015, 01:59:51 pm
Waiting for someone (Lady Frenzy) to take that end sting and mix it up with Stog's PARTY for the ultimate auditory experience.

Special props to Kumquatxop because in several years of listening to this podcast, for some reason "ARE YOU A DOG?" made me choke and spit tea up into my eye. Good work, man.

I feel like all food related episodes now need to be tagged 'blood and semen'.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on March 02, 2015, 03:15:25 pm
So, did anyone actually count the number of times Lemon said "Scroll down to" or anyone said "Blood and semen"?
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: scratchohey on March 02, 2015, 09:58:53 pm
This was a great time to start listening to the stingers!
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Mighty Dicktron on March 03, 2015, 03:16:04 pm
BLOOD
and
SEMEN
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: crow on March 03, 2015, 04:45:38 pm
BLOOD
and
SEMEN
Mighty Dicktron, March 03, 2015, 03:16:04 pm
iawtp
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Macho Masc Sangy Savage on March 03, 2015, 07:55:19 pm
Just in case anyone else wanted that sweet stinger as a ringtone, here's the clipped version:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/wea7gfy9ge092wy/fplus-answersthephoneforyou.mp3?dl=0
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: McMillan and Waifu on March 03, 2015, 09:20:01 pm
BLOOD
and
SEMEN
Mighty Dicktron, March 03, 2015, 03:16:04 pm

"...it is not by speeches and majority resolutions that the great questions of the time are decided – that was the big mistake of 1848 and 1849 – but by semen and blood."
--Otto von Bismarck, 1862
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on March 03, 2015, 09:55:06 pm
Just in case anyone else wanted that sweet stinger as a ringtone, here's the clipped version:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/wea7gfy9ge092wy/fplus-answersthephoneforyou.mp3?dl=0
Sanguinary Novel, March 03, 2015, 07:55:19 pm


 NOTE: Anyone who uses this as a ringtone is required by law to only answer the phone by shouting "YES, HELLO!" in Kumquat's voice.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Agent (gobble, gobble) Coop on March 03, 2015, 10:03:32 pm
Just in case anyone else wanted that sweet stinger as a ringtone, here's the clipped version:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/wea7gfy9ge092wy/fplus-answersthephoneforyou.mp3?dl=0
Sanguinary Novel, March 03, 2015, 07:55:19 pm


 NOTE: Anyone who uses this as a ringtone is required by law to only answer the phone by shouting "YES, HELLO!" in Kumquat's voice.
portaxx, March 03, 2015, 09:55:06 pm
but who was phone?
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: moooo566 (taylor's version) on March 04, 2015, 02:39:00 am
Careful, or we might run into a problem. Now the f plus has introduced us to this supercut, the party party party song and those horrible jingles, there are now three terrible audio pieces from the f plus. If I have one as my alarm tone, one as my text tone and one as my ringtone, what will I do with the next one?
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: crow on March 04, 2015, 04:09:09 am
Careful, or we might run into a problem. Now the f plus has introduced us to this supercut, the party party party song and those horrible jingles, there are now three terrible audio pieces from the f plus. If I have one as my alarm tone, one as my text tone and one as my ringtone, what will I do with the next one?
moooo566, March 04, 2015, 02:39:00 am

Play it before you enter rooms.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Adam Bozarth on March 04, 2015, 11:03:49 am
Careful, or we might run into a problem. Now the f plus has introduced us to this supercut, the party party party song and those horrible jingles, there are now three terrible audio pieces from the f plus. If I have one as my alarm tone, one as my text tone and one as my ringtone, what will I do with the next one?
moooo566, March 04, 2015, 02:39:00 am

Alarm clock.

Or set an IFTTT to make it play whenever the forecast calls for 30% chance of rain
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Deep 13 on March 04, 2015, 12:25:02 pm
This is amazing. I've listened to the episode twice already just to try and parse all the crazy, but I may need a third listen, just to be sure I didn't miss any.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: EYE OF ZA on March 04, 2015, 02:11:04 pm
This is one of those episodes, like Dozerfleet among others, where it's just so crazy that you have to go back and relisten to try to get a grasp of the crazy. 
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Agent (gobble, gobble) Coop on March 04, 2015, 03:38:50 pm
all I could think about when food whorehouses came up was that one kilgore trout story from breakfast of champions
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Macho Masc Sangy Savage on March 04, 2015, 08:33:46 pm
I'm hoping some day we'll get a part 2, because it sounds like there was plenty of crazy for a second helping
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: LINDA on March 05, 2015, 01:15:11 am
Just in case anyone else wanted that sweet stinger as a ringtone, here's the clipped version:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/wea7gfy9ge092wy/fplus-answersthephoneforyou.mp3?dl=0
Sanguinary Novel, March 03, 2015, 07:55:19 pm

it's a race to pick up the phone before SEMEN
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Rhakan on March 08, 2015, 04:58:50 am
Hey guys, I think I can shed some light on the weird name of the website.  NZ9F is this guy's ham radio callsign.  According to the FCC he possesses an Amateur Extra license, which is the highest license class a ham operator can obtain.  I think they might want to make these exams more difficult in the future.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Puppy Time on March 08, 2015, 12:43:35 pm
Well, I can believe that he's smart/reasonably competent.  I can even believe he's an actual PhD, or at least was in the program.  He's just fucking crazy.  Presumably if he took some (blood-and-semen-laced) antipsychotics, he'd be capable of contributing meaningfully to society. 

Being completely off your rocker doesn't preclude you from being intelligent, it just means your brain don't work right.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Isfahan on March 13, 2015, 07:02:24 pm
My first thought when Lemon announced the website address was "I bet that was a very easy day on GoDaddy for that guy."
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Plague of Hats on March 14, 2015, 08:24:43 pm
Here (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4hmmNcahnyuM3V6RzhfQ0tfY2c/view?usp=sharing) is a technically SFW version of the amazing new ringtone sensation that's sweeping the nation. I can't wait to politely shout YES HELLO!? when my phone "rings."
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Cat Planet on March 14, 2015, 10:56:39 pm
The only thing that has disappointed me in this episode was the absence of stories about cuddle parties gone wrong. I mean, when I've read the episode description, my first thought was that the readers will be reading personal testimonies from weird creepos like the Sweaty Mocassin Fucker, but there hasn't been any of that unfortunately.

E: Fuck, wrong thread.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on March 14, 2015, 11:00:45 pm
The only thing that has disappointed me in this episode was the absence of stories of cuddle parties gone wrong. I mean, when I've read the episode description, my first thought was that the readers will be reading personal testimonies from weird creepos, but there hasn't been any of that unfortunately.
Cat Planet, March 14, 2015, 10:56:39 pm

I honestly tried to find some and I really couldn't find any good stories, weirdly enough. Lemon's "Portaxx was stalled out" is actually referring to my frustration with being unable to find some longer testimonials, haha. I found a few blog posts here and there, but they were all actually pretty depressing and messed-up, so they never got thrown in there. Go figure!
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Neal on March 26, 2015, 10:30:47 pm
It occurs to me that the Kumquatxop supercut could be further enhanced if it were spliced with his reading of the One Direction fan meltdown posts from the sneeze fetish episode.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on June 05, 2015, 09:34:22 am
To anyone wondering, which I'm sure is all of you, this episode is still as incredible and tear-inducing funny the third time you listen to it.
What a serendipitous thing the existence of this person on the Internet is.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on July 09, 2015, 04:44:53 pm
Holy shitsnacks, his site now reads "designed for mobile and laptops" and he added some webring atrocity at the top:

(http://i.imgur.com/LPtuoaQ.jpg)

When are you guys doing part II?
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Lemon on July 09, 2015, 05:02:12 pm
Holy shitsnacks, his site now reads "designed for mobile and laptops" and he added some webring atrocity at the top:
Ambious, July 09, 2015, 04:44:53 pm

Huh, Google is fucking up (https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/mobile-friendly/?url=nz9f.com).

And so is The Worldwide Web Consortium (https://validator.w3.org/mobile-alpha/?url=nz9f.com&profile=smartphone2).

This all must be part of the conspiracy.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on July 09, 2015, 05:10:23 pm
Holy shitsnacks, his site now reads "designed for mobile and laptops" and he added some webring atrocity at the top:
Ambious, July 09, 2015, 04:44:53 pm

Huh, Google is fucking up (https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/mobile-friendly/?url=nz9f.com).

And so is The Worldwide Web Consortium (https://validator.w3.org/mobile-alpha/?url=nz9f.com&profile=smartphone2).

This all must be part of the conspiracy.
Lemon, July 09, 2015, 05:02:12 pm

I'm surprised their servers didn't explode when you fed them that URL.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Emperor Jack Chick on July 09, 2015, 07:22:13 pm
Did he always include "NZ9F" as one of his credentials?
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: chai tea latte on July 09, 2015, 07:28:17 pm
Did he always include "NZ9F" as one of his credentials?
jack chick, July 09, 2015, 07:22:13 pm
I think so, it's his HAM callsign.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: crow on July 09, 2015, 08:09:30 pm
Did he always include "NZ9F" as one of his credentials?
jack chick, July 09, 2015, 07:22:13 pm
I think so, it's his HAM callsign.
chai tea latte, July 09, 2015, 07:28:17 pm

We now know what we must do
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on July 10, 2015, 05:00:55 am
Did he always include "NZ9F" as one of his credentials?
jack chick, July 09, 2015, 07:22:13 pm
I think so, it's his HAM callsign.
chai tea latte, July 09, 2015, 07:28:17 pm

We now know what we must do
Smoking Crow, July 09, 2015, 08:09:30 pm

Remember the prime directive.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Sherman Tank on November 07, 2015, 05:56:06 am
Looky what I found (https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=Rm4aAAAAIBAJ&sjid=JCoEAAAAIBAJ&pg=3300%2C656428), a story about the Doctor Reverend Professor's furnace business that the Mormons and the Jews sent him to prison for.

"A 63-year-old Milwaukee woman testified Tuesday that she agreed to buy a new furnace for $3,350 because the salesman said her old one could have exploded and might have killed her."

Oh.

Oh dear.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: montrith on November 07, 2015, 08:01:15 am
The sad thing is, knowing this guy he probably really believed the Jews had rigged this woman's boiler to explode.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on November 07, 2015, 08:25:04 am
I'm actually kind of relieved - combining antisemitism with furnaces doesn't usually end this mildly.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: xX_sp00ks_Xx on April 19, 2016, 05:17:04 pm
Setun (Russian: Сетунь) was a computer developed in 1958 at Moscow State University. It was built under the leadership of Sergei Sobolev and Nikolay Brusentsov. It was the only modern ternary computer, using the balanced ternary numeral system and three-valued ternary logic instead of the two-valued binary logic prevalent in other computers. The computer was built to fulfill the needs of Moscow State University. It was manufactured at the Kazan Mathematical plant. Fifty computers were built from 1959 and production was halted in 1965. Between 1965 and 1970 a regular binary computer was used at Moscow State University to replace it. Although this replacement binary computer performed equally well, it was 2.5 times the cost of the Setun. In 1970, a new model of the ternary computer, the Setun-70, was developed. [^ (http://www.computer-museum.ru/english/setun.htm)]

                                                                                                                                         BELLY-BUTTON LOGIC WORKS
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Nifty Nif on April 19, 2016, 06:40:47 pm
Thanks, Spooks!  Because of your post, I found myself in a wikipedia k-hole that had a math concept with a hilarious name at its depths (Dedekind–Peano axioms) and ended with something relevant to my day-to-day (Null (SQL)).
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Yavuz on June 09, 2016, 07:31:30 pm
I was reminded of John Kitchin lately, so I decided to check in on our pal. Did you know that he has a newspaper? (I'm pretty sure it was mentioned in the opening part of the episode.) Anyway, he's apparently been putting this shit out for seven years, and it's available in PDF form. Interspersed amongst some political ranting and things that might actually be helpful for homeless people (I wouldn't know), you'll find some gems:

Inside the Elections:
I’ve been a (black sheep) advisor to the Democratic National
Committee since the 1980’s, and suggested Bill Clinton for
President. I was the first to suggest Bernie Sanders. In 2008 it
was a choice between Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama, and the
deal made was that the first female President can wait, and our
first Black President would prioritize Hillary’s healthcare plan.
Obama is a Republican pretending to be a Democrat, of course,
and for 2016 I suggested either Clinton-Sanders or SandersClinton,
both unbeatable by Trump and his lunatics, short of a
murder, Bobby Kennedy style.

Tijuana: Elections are early July, a date set up by US
President Abraham Lincoln in the 1800’s, when he founded the
Mexican Political System (there are statues of him everywhere).
Elections are a time of turmoil because the drug cartels are run
by warring U.S. political factions. Lots of violence results.

You can
tell it is elections time when the commodities for the poor
include a frozen pound of 85% lean Angus ground beef.

(Incidentally, the
Spanish "ñ" is Alt 164 on Windows.)
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Knitting Machine on June 30, 2016, 08:40:24 pm
I showed this website to my conspiracy theory loving friend and it's like Christmas came early! Thanks F Plus!
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on August 31, 2016, 06:16:49 pm
http://www.nz9f.com/my_photo
http://www.nz9f.com/pussy

I love you Dr. Kitchin
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Emperor Jack Chick on August 31, 2016, 07:01:53 pm
Have taught tantric clergy sex, including kama sutra, and have operated at some incredible spiritual levels.  I don't run a very high level of love, but I can.  I am most comfortable at low levels.  I am not considered a very good lover, but an excellent teacher of sexual things.  Have not had sex in years.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Yavuz on August 31, 2016, 08:44:39 pm
Have taught tantric clergy sex, including kama sutra, and have operated at some incredible spiritual levels.  I don't run a very high level of love, but I can.  I am most comfortable at low levels.  I am not considered a very good lover, but an excellent teacher of sexual things.  Have not had sex in years.
jack chick, August 31, 2016, 07:01:53 pm

Want me for a husband or boyfriend?  Dress obscene, think obscene, and pummel me with love.  Make me fall in love with the way your tongue feels in my mouth.  (Yup, published authors can express themselves well.)  I get into my fantasies elsewhere, all simple things like the sheerest blouse I have ever seen, or the shortest skirt.  Sexist, you say?  I dunno.  I have always fought for womens' rights, but as an ape-animal, some stuff drives me crazy.  Should I apologize?
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on August 31, 2016, 08:56:31 pm
Race:  Never tried a Pacific Islander, as no opportunity to do so, even when I wrote my book on Hawaii.  Too busy.  No longer willing to try any other Black, Asian, or Native American women, so I would prefer someone Aryan White, like myself, or Jewish.  Best guess is that it's just the cultures that I relate to.  Can't be gay, as I don't like the feel of male love.  Female love devastates me.  Love it.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Yavuz on August 31, 2016, 09:30:22 pm
Blep Zzzgnopk is looking for a female Resptinok, with great fernserr, a nice wafftonbel, and, above all, she has to give really good werble.  Don't tell anybody, but he's an illegal alien.  I was tempted to use Blep's photo as my own on Facebook, because he's such a handsome Resptinok.  (I actually did that, as an alternate photo, but they deleted it.  Facebook John Kitchin.)

And here's the photo:

(http://nz9f.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/alien.200132448_std.jpg)
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on September 01, 2016, 04:45:09 am
Blep Zzzgnopk is looking for a female Resptinok, with great fernserr, a nice wafftonbel, and, above all, she has to give really good werble.  Don't tell anybody, but he's an illegal alien.  I was tempted to use Blep's photo as my own on Facebook, because he's such a handsome Resptinok.  (I actually did that, as an alternate photo, but they deleted it.  Facebook John Kitchin.)

And here's the photo:

(http://nz9f.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/alien.200132448_std.jpg)
Yavuz Sultan Selim, August 31, 2016, 09:30:22 pm

When I saw this I seriously thought for a moment Kitchin might be an over-productive troll.
NOBODY can REALLY be that crazy, can they?
Then I remembered... It's fucking John Kitchin.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Jack Sensation on September 01, 2016, 04:53:18 am
(http://nz9f.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/alien.200132448_std.jpg)
Yavuz Sultan Selim, August 31, 2016, 09:30:22 pm

Say what you will, that is one handsome resptinok.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Aljonso on September 01, 2016, 08:11:21 pm
I'm half expecting one of those words refers to that forehead butt he has there.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Yavuz on September 12, 2016, 10:47:51 pm
So I decided to head on over to browse a bit before brushing my teeth and calling it a night. And then I found www.nz9f.com/abortion.

So, we need to accept gay marriage as the norm, shunning male-female relationships as they often produce overpopulation (babies).  Homosexual relationships do not biologically produce overpopulation, and so are not liked by the religious gangsters who run society and its brainwashing.  But, times are getting better.  God is getting heard.  I am hetero, by the way.

The 20,000 year old Ancient Pagan Law of Life (LOL) says that a pre-human clump of cells is not alive until birth, and not a human life until one year after it is born, never before that time.  Before that, it is mere property, like a dog or a cat.  After the first birthday, however, it is one of us, a human.  Welcome to Earth!  It is an extremely overcrowded planet and getting worse every day!  The Law of Life is over 20 thousand years old, and provides that either parent may kill their own child prior to its first birthday.  Should we legalize after-birth abortions (infanticide)?  It is a time-honored tradition among humans.  Preggo-test kits should contain a pill Mifeprisone, to dissolve the clump and let the woman menstruate!

What's best about this next one is what immediately comes after it:

Comic Relief:  Baby Changing Stations, where you drop an unwanted problem kid down the chute and the attendant gives you a different one, have the problem of lots of used babies accumulating. So, they send them to a Used Baby Lot to get sold. Honest Bob's Used Babies! Low Miles! Cream Puff! Some of our used babies even come with White Wall Tires! Act now, and get Easy Financing on the Used Baby of your choice! Honest Bob's Used Babies. The ones we can't sell get squished into Baby Oil, just like that there Emu Oil. You gotta have Emu Oil, because you never know when your Emu (or baby) might start to squeak.

Which is this:


I just wish I could've been in the same bathroom as him when he recorded that.

Update January 7, 2013:  "Because my life has been 3 parts gift and 4 parts torture, I wish that I had been an abortion, even though I had great parents and a good family life.  Once born, a terrible thing, the only thing worse than being born is having to die.  And, the only way to never have to die is to not be born to begin with, avoiding all 3 horrible things:  Birth, life, and death.  And, never let the religious Overpopulation-For-Profit ministers talk you into making one more adopted child that nobody wants.  50 million are currently looking for a family, ANY family!  Religious leaders lie about that all the time, saying that there is a waiting list to adopt. BULLSHIT!  "Adoption" creates orphans because 90% never get adopted, while Abortion creates nothing.  Much better to be a nothing."  Rev. John Kitchin, Jan. 7, 2013.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Macho Masc Sangy Savage on April 21, 2017, 09:58:54 am
Has it been long enough that FPlus can come back to the Kitchin crazy well again?
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on April 21, 2017, 04:50:38 pm
Has it been long enough that FPlus can come back to the Kitchin crazy well again?
Sanguinary Novel, April 21, 2017, 09:58:54 am

Please
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Ambious on March 16, 2018, 03:05:43 pm
This episode is infinitely relistenable. I love it so much.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: GirlKisser420 on March 16, 2018, 03:46:36 pm
the document's 44 pages, theoretically you could read all the stuff that wasn't read

idk if they had http://www.nz9f.com/Wit (http://www.nz9f.com/Wit) though

---- Melanie Stewart said that Homeless is when you go from zillionaire to zeronaire. ----- They talk about Recovery Groups. Can I get into a "Hopeless" group? I'm addicted to failure and it feels so nice. (not really) ----- "The measure of a culture is in how it assists members of other cultures without preference for its own people." -Angel Moroni, who also said, "Calling us Weather Balloons is a lot of hot air." ----- Don't worry about me, as I will merely die and thus be better off than now. Worry about those too stupid to kill themselves. ----- I know of a guy with a prison tattoo. It's the Administration Building of Alcatraz, pictured right on his chest. ----- Owners of human pets should be certain that the humans have been spayed or neutered, to prevent too many.Humans overpopulate profusely, and usually cannot take care of themselves, so we must also support pet shelters. ----- Hire the Morally Handicapped. Vote. ----- All-American Flag Waving Bible Jesus Cheese is made in China by workers chained up to their machines 24 hours and working for five cents an hour.A quality product of the All-American Flag Waving Bible Jesus Cheese Company, Beijing, China.----- I thought Schizophrenia was a baseball team, the Seattle Schizophrenics. They have an imaginary Third Baseman. Any therapist who thinks they can help Schizophrenics in any way is delusional and therefore Schizophrenic themselves. ----- To be a Criminal Lawyer you have to be as corrupt as the people you defend, plus as corrupt as the criminals posing as judges and district attorneys who are prosecuting them. Both sides are evil, but the criminals tend to be more hones and truthful. ----- When people get out of prison they have a hard time finding a job, so we elect them to public office. ----- The College of Unnecessary Medicine (CUM) teaches the most lucrative of all medical fields, Unnecessary Surgery. You can learn to become an Unnecessary Surgeon.----- Hi, I'm not here right now, but you are, so talk to yourself into the phone and if I get back before I return, I might call you if I feel like it. ------- Faith is the opposite of learning the truth. ----- Sir, there is a problem with your birth certificate. It says it was issued by the "Estado de Noo Hampshurr", and, well, New Hampshire is not spelled that way. Can I interest you in our free course on how to become a better liar? ----- Fashion is a foreign word for vomit that you wear. I use my alligator shirt to wash the floor. ----- Why do humans hide their sex organs, while flowers stick them right in your face? Even worse, flowers eat what humans poop. And, when lunch smells like shit, remember that to a mushroom, shit smells like lunch. ----- That brings us to Mushroom Nachos and since a mushroom, like a catfish, eats nothing but poop, you need some stinky ingredients to make nachos for a family of mushrooms. Mushroom Nachos could use cattle manure, human poop, raw sewage, even cat box scrapings. Think about that the next time you eat a mushroom, or a catfish. You are what you eat, Poopsie. The war cry of a mushroom in battle is, "Eat Shit!" ----- It has been suggested that the fluorine and mercury that are intentionally given to children at birth to secretly suppress and atrophy the pineal gland may have a lot to do with both physical and mental illnesses. -----

http://www.nz9f.com/R/14 (http://www.nz9f.com/R/14)
John Kitchin.  [THIS AUTHOR WROTE FOR JOHNNY CARSON. -  Webmaster.]

Inspired by Woody Allen and Mel Brooks, Bite Me! is something that Bart Simpson, the ADD child of the TV series "The Simpsons" says a lot.  It's gnostic, and so a good name for a page on food humor.  It also shows the extreme creativity of the Autistic child (me) who grew up to write it.  Hitler would have killed me for being different.  Jew U, my alma mater, taught me how to learn, how to communicate, and how to make a difference, including using humor.  (See Chapter 2.)

Although copyrighted, automatic copyright permission is hereby granted for nonprofit public service use, such as stand-up comedy in a welfare line or soup kitchen.  Shalom.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Rotten Apples get awfully Micro-Soft when you squish them, making the whole web stink.  Internet Exploder, the browser from Locked Gates, launches toxic cookies, months old and hard enough to crash into the enemy's British Raincoat (a Mac).  Likewise, Rotten Apple's Green "Granny Smith" Division has its own "Trojan Horse" (those are really big condoms used at the racetrack) called "Godzilla Fire-Pox", which launches viruses such as Apple "Sick-Time", injecting them into your Punk City (PC) Information Superhighway Vehicle, causing it to crash into an exit ramp.
(http://nz9f.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/pic072010_4.20110350_std.jpg)
 The comic book character Orgasmo, from the movie of the same name, a Mormon missionary who becomes a porn star, and fights crime with an adult toy weapon.   Osmondo?  I was told that the creators went on to produce a television show called "South Park".

♦University degrees:  B.A. is Big Ape; B.S. is, well, you know what BS is; MFF is Master of Flying Farts; M.E. is Matriculated Eccentric; and Ph.D. is the same as BS except Piled Higher and Deeper.  A university with too much staff in the coffee machine risks a staff infection.  To save money, music students will be using the restrooms for instrument practice.  The university administrator mascot is a puppet that the young kids love named Academic Dean.  Dean appears on television in children´s shows encouraging them to stay in school.  The longer you stay in school, the longer the time before you graduate, and begin life on the sidewalk.

♦Osama bin Laden has his days numbered.  Long after Michael Moore´s "Fahrenheit 911" showed Osama´s check to help elect George W. Bush President, despite that check being a US Government Top Secret, 8 years under Bush went by and he was not found.  Hell, if he donated $50 million to me and I was president, I´d probably put him up in the Lincoln Bedroom!  But, there´s a new sheriff in town, and his name is Obama.  This sheriff is a nightmare of yours right out of the movie "Blazing Saddles".  Goodbye, Osama.  Meet Obama.

♦Heard at the border water fountain (true story):  "You gotta love a country where the water is free, and putting your leg in it doesn´t cause you to get fleas."

♦The lady at the San Diego State University graduate information desk asked me if I had a B.A. degree.  I told here that even my dog has one of those!  (true story)

Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: KingKalamari on September 10, 2019, 02:37:24 pm
So, while re-listening to this episode today I was suddenly struck by something during bunnybread's first reading about how the Jewish Kabbal and the Mormon Mafia took down Dr. Prof. Kitchen's business: While he describes his old business as being akin to Goodwill he also mentioned that it was an HVAC company that mostly employed people as telemarketers. This ended up sounding pretty familiar to me as I've recently been getting spam calls from telemarketers trying to sell me on vent cleaning services despite me not owning a house. These sort of HVAC scams are actually a major problem right now in Ontario (https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/you-feel-really-stupid-high-pressure-scammers-dupe-ontario-woman-into-replacing-nearly-new-furnace) and puts a lot of Kitchen's claims about an evil conspiracy to frame him for fraud.

Reading between the lines I get the impression that Kitchen used to be the owner of one of these scam operations, got shut down by the state and then got bit by the blood and semen bug which skewed his worldview to the point that he's forgotten his scam business was actually a scam.
Title: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.
Post by: Neal on September 10, 2019, 03:00:54 pm
That's some interesting context, but forgive me, I got distracted by one thing in your post:

Jewish Kabbal KingKalamari, September 10, 2019, 02:37:24 pm

That's an amazing use of the etymology of "cabal" for a play on words that only works visually.