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Topic: All Right, Nobody Else Heart or Punch Me  (Read 65537 times)

A Whirring Bone-White Gleech

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All Right, Nobody Else Heart or Punch Me #45
So your friend bought a semi-automatic rifle? At high-school age? At a yard sale? I'm pretty sure two or three illegal things happened there. And he didn't even know what rifle he was buying? If the looks confused him then it must have been a Springfield Armory M1A or some other M14 clone, but those are expensive. There's also the possibility he bought a cheap but shitty Auto-Ordnance M1 Carbine, which shares the M1 designation but is radically different. Both of those guns use detachable clips.

I'll refer you to the photos I used in the previous post. Did the rifle look more like this...



...or like this?


Isfahan, April 30, 2013, 03:32:26 am

Fucking brace for it; my friend got held back I think twice, and this was right around when we graduated, so he was probably of legal age.

The bottom one more than the top, but my recollection's not great because this was, good God, a decade ago.  You'll also enjoy this; he didn't get a clip with the rifle, and he didn't test-fire it before he bought it, so he didn't even know if it worked or was safe to fire at all.  I think whoever he bought that rifle from just had an old rifle laying around, and when he saw that fucking brain surgeon walk up, he figured he had cash in hand.

Oh, God, I remember his SKS, too.  He had an SKS that he bolted all kinds of shit to.  It had a flashlight, a scope, a bipod and a bayonet.  All on it at the same time.  And I seem to recall that he handed it too me with the barrel pointed at me.

That guy was amazing.  He also bought out storage-units that where past-due.  Sometimes they had guns in 'em, so he got him a stack of pistols that way.  He stored them loaded (in the cases he found them in, but unlocked) in a stack of shit he shoved in his closet.  I went shooting with him once; once was all it took, without going into the gory details, this was not a guy who practiced great range safety.

The people you meet growing up in rural Georgia.

Isfahan

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All Right, Nobody Else Heart or Punch Me #46
Sounds like he's on track to blow off a finger, and I can only hope that finger doesn't belong to someone else.

Tapco'd SKSes are a special breed of abomination and misunderstanding of why rifles are designed the way they are. For the price of an SKS and then all of the shitty injection-molded plastic crap and horrid non-feeding clips and generic scopes not marked for the ballistics of the round and whatnot, you could just purchase a proper Kalashnikov, which is apparently what the Tapco SKS purchaser wanted in the first place.



AR-15-style collapsible buttstocks on rifles which don't have a buffer tube is just the worst.

Acierocolotl

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All Right, Nobody Else Heart or Punch Me #47
I'm looking at that "tapco" gun and thinking it needs to be wrapped in bacon, and then you could sell 'em for twice the price.

But it's special, ballistic bacon!

Isfahan

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All Right, Nobody Else Heart or Punch Me #48
I'm looking at that "tapco" gun and thinking it needs to be wrapped in bacon, and then you could sell 'em for twice the price.Acierocolotl, April 30, 2013, 07:29:34 pm

That's funny, because as it happens the price of that gun and all the shit on it is already effectively twice what a normal, unmolested SKS costs.

As for bacon, well... only one brand is acceptable for gun-wrapping.


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All Right, Nobody Else Heart or Punch Me #49
Bacon for world peace? Nearly a fourth of the world is scripturally prohibited from eating the stuff! And that's not even factoring in veg*ns or people who just don't like bacon.

I swear, the internet fetishizes the stuff way too fucking much.

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All Right, Nobody Else Heart or Punch Me #50
Well, it is pre-cooked, portable bacon which can be stored at room temperature and has a long shelf-life. I can stretch a bit and seeing this as having a use outside of novelty.

Acierocolotl

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All Right, Nobody Else Heart or Punch Me #51
Bacon for world peace? Nearly a fourth of the world is scripturally prohibited from eating the stuff! And that's not even factoring in veg*ns or people who just don't like bacon.

I swear, the internet fetishizes the stuff way too fucking much.
kal-elk, April 30, 2013, 09:18:53 pm

Know your market.

Most of the dudes who are anti-bacon aren't looking for a snappy gun, they're looking for something cheap and effective and functional.  AK-something, that should do it, they're everywhere and from what I recall, have a reputation of being essentially bulletproof (ha ha).

A person who wants a gun-barbied-up SKS or whatever-the-hell is also the sort of dude that'd write elaborate screeds extolling the virtues of bacon.  So give 'em what they want--a stupid gun, coated in stupid bacon, charge 'em obscene prices and make up some story about how it's thermal jacketing or something.

One more thing:  "Smoke added" products are basically given a light spritzing of creosote after being cooked.  That's basically what it is, chemically speaking.  "Tac-bac" is seriously of the devil.

Isfahan

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All Right, Nobody Else Heart or Punch Me #52
One more thing:  "Smoke added" products are basically given a light spritzing of creosote after being cooked.  That's basically what it is, chemically speaking.  "Tac-bac" is seriously of the devil.Acierocolotl, April 30, 2013, 11:01:12 pm

Well, that's why we have immune systems!

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Fucking brace for it; my friend got held back I think twice, and this was right around when we graduated, so he was probably of legal age.

The bottom one more than the top, but my recollection's not great because this was, good God, a decade ago.  You'll also enjoy this; he didn't get a clip with the rifle, and he didn't test-fire it before he bought it, so he didn't even know if it worked or was safe to fire at all.  I think whoever he bought that rifle from just had an old rifle laying around, and when he saw that fucking brain surgeon walk up, he figured he had cash in hand.

Oh, God, I remember his SKS, too.  He had an SKS that he bolted all kinds of shit to.  It had a flashlight, a scope, a bipod and a bayonet.  All on it at the same time.  And I seem to recall that he handed it too me with the barrel pointed at me.

That guy was amazing.  He also bought out storage-units that where past-due.  Sometimes they had guns in 'em, so he got him a stack of pistols that way.  He stored them loaded (in the cases he found them in, but unlocked) in a stack of shit he shoved in his closet.  I went shooting with him once; once was all it took, without going into the gory details, this was not a guy who practiced great range safety.

The people you meet growing up in rural Georgia.
Utnaphistim, April 30, 2013, 05:46:11 pm

See, this is what I think of when people ask me about my stance on gun control.  "Everyone shall have the right to bear arms except that guy you knew in high school because holy fuck y'all" sounds ideal to me.

Isfahan

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WOO TIME FOR A TITLE CHANGE



NOW FOR CELEBRATORY GUNS


OrganGrinder

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brb calling the atf

Isfahan

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brb calling the atfOrganGrinder, May 10, 2013, 07:10:07 am

narc

OrganGrinder

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second amendment fundamentalist

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Isfahan appreciation thread 2013

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I'm really afraid to ask how much that much gun costs.

Isfahan, have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air? Failing that, have you ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air?