I don't drink alcohol and sort of wanted to talk about it/ask about it a bit. I know this is bordering on "Hi I don't have this problem, bye. :)" territory but I'm thinking maybe it'll seem less attention-whorey to post this in an EXISTING thread concerning alcohol than making a new one just to talk about myself in.
But basically I never had any interest in consuming alcohol, the smell and aroma of it never appealed to me, the dangerous/stupid stuff my friends bragged about doing while/after consuming it concerned me, and when asked about it I'd joke that my first drink had to be on board an English steam train (I'm a NYer) which got me a lot of "respect" from people who would otherwise have given me grief for not drinking.
When I was 26 I went to my friend's wedding which was basically my first major social event since turning 21.
During the reception the groom's sister reprimanded me in front of everyone for being inappropriate for toasting with the soft drink I got from the open bar instead of the wine that was at all the tables, and when I got back home my dad lectured me several times over when I accidentally mentioned that I ordered a shirley temple at the open bar and my dad said it was a kids drink and I'm too old for that and that if he was a girl and he was interested in me he'd lose interest in me as a potential boyfriend if he saw me ordering a shirley temple at my age, but honestly I'll be shocked if I ever at any point in my life end up having a girlfriend under any circumstances anyway.
When I was 27 I actually got to have a ride on an English steam train and try a beer and I didn't like it at all. When i got home I tried again and it honestly didn't do anything for me whatsoever but put a literal bad taste in my mouth and make my stomach feel bad, and I haven't tried again since nor have I wanted to.
I'm almost 29 now and when I mention I like root beer, they always assume I mean the alcoholic root beer that's becoming popular now, like theres no reason I would want a "kids" root beer, and when I tell people who don't know me I don't drink alcohol they either think I'm some kind of manchild who refuses to grow up or that I'm a recovering alcoholic.
I don't even dislike alcohol or people who enjoy it, I've even had a long running fascination with sommeliers and wine making, I just sort of have this weird problem where I feel sort of intrinsically defective in almost every aspect of what the world around me seems to expect of me as an adult, and I really don't know how I'm supposed to function outside of my extremely small circle of eccentric and/or literally autistic friends who don't make a big deal of the fact that I don't drink alcohol.
SuperTrainStationH, December 20, 2016, 09:42:20 am
Hello, as a non-drinker who is also a weird person socially I am very familiar with these issues!
First, drinking is a thing that most people do, so if you don't do it there will be occasional moments of awkwardness no matter what you do, because someone is going to assume you do. That's okay, and it's important to remember that bit of awkwardness isn't the fault of either party, and also not a big deal, because it's just caused by somebody not knowing information. Once they know you aren't drinking right then, it shouldn't be an issue.
Obviously, sometimes it IS an issue, like in the examples you listed. Someone will not understand why you wouldn't want to drink, or will take offense at a social norm being ignored. The most important thing in those situations is to turn down the alcohol being offered confidently but quickly. Make it very mundane and most people won't give a shit, after all, even people who drink don't do so every time they go out. Most of the time that I would find myself in the awkward situation of explaining why I don't drink was when I'd decline nervously, or feel the need to actually say "oh, I don't drink" rather than just declining. Most people will just assume you aren't drinking right then, as opposed to ever, which is a totally normal thing, and nobody has any reason to learn "oh, actually I never drink, and *longer, potentially awkward explanation*" until they get to know you well enough that it won't be awkward to explain it.
You'll still find yourself in situations with people who know you a bit better who want you to drink, like the ones you mentioned. They can politely fuck themselves, you don't owe anyone anything. It's super-rude of the groom's sister to fucking police what you're drinking, way ruder than any possible insult you could have given by not toasting with the right drink. And if a girl would lose interest in you because you ordered the wrong drink, then probably that wouldn't have worked out anyway.
The only thing I'd really say is that people who don't drink because they've never tried it and are sheltered or scared of it should at least consider giving it a shot before writing it off, but since you've done that already and found you didn't like it, you're 100% justified and fuck the haters.
