ballp.it

Snakes In The Ball Pit => Yay, I get to talk about me! => Topic started by: Spoop on September 26, 2015, 08:55:08 am

Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Spoop on September 26, 2015, 08:55:08 am: Here's mine. I've inherited 5 million united states dollars. It's okay to be jealous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA PLOT 1075 DIPLOMATIC DRIVE
CENTRAL DISTRICT AREA, ABUJA

DEAR: BENEFICIARY,

AFTER AN OFFICIAL MEETING HELD WITH THE PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA PRESIDENT MUHAMMADU BUHARI AND GOVERNORS CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA MR. GODWIN EMEFIELE CONCERNING UNPAID AND UNCLAIMED FUNDS TO FOREIGN BENEFICIARIES, I WAS VERY MUCH ANNOYED WHEN I FOUND OUT FROM YOUR FILE THAT YOU PAID SO MUCH MONEY YET YOU HAVE NOT STILL RECEIVE YOUR COMPENSATION FUNDS. FOR THAT REASON I HAVE DECIDED TO HELP PERSONAL GET YOU’RE FUND.

MY NAME IS AMBASSADOR JAMES F. ENTWISTLE THE PRESENT U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA I SHALL BE COMING TO WASHINGTON DC BY NEXT WEEK FOR AN OFFICIAL MEETING AND I WILL BE BRINGING A BANK DRAFT OF $5MILLION (FIVE MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS ONLY) WHICH THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE HAS SIGN ON YOUR NAME. I SHALL BE COMING ALONG WITH THE CHECK THROUGH THE UNITED STATES DIPLOMATIC MISSION TO WASHINGTON. THIS TIME I WILL NOT GO THROUGH CUSTOMS BECAUSE AS A U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA, I AM A USA GOVERNMENT AGENT AND I HAVE THE VETO POWER TO GO THROUGH ANY U.S CUSTOMS.

I HAVE HELP THREE BENEFICIARIES FROM UNITED STATE OF AMERICA THIS YEAR TO GET THERE FUND WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM AND YOU ARE THE FOURTH PERSON I AM HELPING NOW. THE THREE INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS ALREADY RECEIVE THE FUND THROUGH MY ASSISTANCE ARE BELLOW MRS. ANTHONIO SMITH---------- MARYLAND USA MR. ROY JERRY-------------FLORIDA USAM ISS. MARLYNA JONES --------ATLANTIC GEORGIA THE ABOVE MENTIONED ARE THE THREE PERSONS WHO HAS RECEIVED THERE FUND BY MY ASSISTANCE IN JANUARY AND I CANT SEE WHY YOURS WILL NOT BE POSSIBLE. BASE ON THAT YOU ARE TO SEND ME YOUR BELLOW INFORMATION FOR THE DELIVERY OF YOUR FUND BY NEXT WEEK AS SOON AS I COME FOR THE MEETING. YOUR DETAILS REQUIRED ARE BELLOW.

1. YOUR FULL NAME
2. CELL PHONE NUMBER
3. ADDRESS WHERE YOU WANT ME TO BRING THE PACKAGE).

I KNOW QUIT WELL FROM YOUR FILE THAT YOU HAVE REALLY PAID SO MUCH ON THIS DELIVERY THAT MAKES ME WONDER. YOU ARE A VERY LUCKY PERSON BECAUSE I SHALL BE BRINGING IT MYSELF AND THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT. YOUR PACKAGE ($5M) MUST BE REGISTERED AS AN AMBASSADORIAL PACKAGE FOR ME TO DEFEAT ALL ODDS. THE COST OF REGISTERING IS JUST $120 AS PAID BY ORDERS WHO JUST RECEIVE THERE FUND PRESENTLY. THE FEE MUST BE PAID IN THE NEXT 72 HOURS VIA WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM SO THAT ALL NECESSARY ARRANGEMENT CAN BE MADE BEFORE TIME WILL BE AGAINST US.

YOU ARE TO CONTACT MY SECRETARY MR. DIKE EFE FOR THE REGISTRATION OF THE CHECK: CONTACT
NAME: MR. DIKE EFE

PLEASE CONTACT MY SECRETARY WITH HIS INFORMATION STATED AND SEND HIM THE $120 FOR THE REGISTRATION OF THE CHECK BEFORE NEXT WEEK WHICH I WILL BE COMING TO U.S. I SHALL SEND YOU MY FLIGHT SCHEDULE AS SOON AS THE REGISTRATION IS DONE FOR YOU TO KNOW WHEN EXACTLY I WILL BE IN WASHINGTON. YOU CAN GO THROUGH MY WEBSITE AND READ BIOGRAPHY: (

NOTE: AS SOON AS I ARRIVE TO WASHINGTON I WILL CALL YOU SO THAT IMMEDIATELY I FINISHED WITH MY MEETING I WILL BE COMING TO YOUR ADDRESS TO HAND OVER THE CHECK TO YOU AND ALSO TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I WILL BE GOING TO YOUR BANK WITH YOU TO DEPOSIT THE CHECK WITH ALL THE APPROVED DOCUMENT BACKING UP THE CHECK AND I WILL MAKE SURE THE CHECK CLEAR IN 3DAYS BEFORE I LIVE.

YOURS SINCERELY AMBASSADOR
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Tiny Prancer on September 26, 2015, 11:41:14 am: I get spam on a much lower basis now but I used to get it a LOT, and saved the ones that amused me in a special folder so I could laugh at them. I took some screenshots of my collection a while back and managed to dig them up.

(http://41.media.tumblr.com/bf6a06b1f9a040b4b830309b0015ce53/tumblr_nnm1ybEfT31qd6bzwo1_1280.png)
(http://40.media.tumblr.com/91b6cc2a488c403ef46cdac85522ccbd/tumblr_nnm1ybEfT31qd6bzwo2_1280.png)
(http://41.media.tumblr.com/f745180d2f9e255311ffc191564f0c3d/tumblr_nnm1ybEfT31qd6bzwo3_1280.png)

And here's where I got vague poetry about erectile disfunction medication in my inbox
(http://41.media.tumblr.com/309921d7807c25a69d89624bfbab8380/tumblr_nhr3jhvV1y1qd6bzwo1_1280.png)
(http://40.media.tumblr.com/0ded303c9c46ed5e3bf2fb7915a0ce42/tumblr_nhr3jhvV1y1qd6bzwo2_1280.png)
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Spoop on September 26, 2015, 12:28:58 pm: I also get the spam with those weird letter forms. I guess they're trying to get around spam blockers that way?

also a secret jew weed party sounds amazing.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: A Meat on September 26, 2015, 12:41:27 pm: Why would you ever need to buy Ventolin illegally?
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Tiny Prancer on September 26, 2015, 12:49:11 pm: "secret jew weed party" is definitely one of my favorite spam messages I've ever gotten.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: strifeheart on September 26, 2015, 01:31:11 pm: My favorite type of spam was the type where the "from" field had an outlandish name of the form [arbitrary word] [initial] [arbitrary word]. I fondly recall getting a message from "Krasnoyarsk Q. Themistocles" (presumably a Greco-Siberian naval commander).
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Positronic on September 26, 2015, 02:16:26 pm: I'm pretty sure "Become the fair-haired boy of the fortune! Get the power!" is a shounen manga chapter title.

"Secret jew weed party" is the best though, especially since it sounds like an answer to the email above it.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: A Meat on September 26, 2015, 03:03:53 pm: There is a jew weed party, but it's pretty well known, and they never get past the minimum threshold.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: junior associate faguar on September 26, 2015, 05:28:47 pm: Why would you ever need to buy Ventolin illegally?
A Meat, September 26, 2015, 12:41:27 pm

Bodybuilders use massive amounts of a related drug to cut fat/water weight and supposedly enhance muscle growth. Stupid bodybuilders take shitloads of salbutamol instead.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on September 30, 2015, 09:04:24 am: Poor Lindsay Greene- she sent me email two days ago saying that an "Insta Affair Call" is waiting for me, and that "I'm gonna explode, if nobody f@cks me tonight". Great, I only JUST saw it. Now I have some poor woman's death by explosion on my hands.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Boots Raingear on September 30, 2015, 09:12:22 am: Subject: Fortunately, you just cured prostate cancer and now you are having troubles with your erections.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: goombapolice on September 30, 2015, 10:59:24 am: I do the spam filter for the company I work for. I come across some gems from time to time.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Spoop on September 30, 2015, 06:07:57 pm: It's been a slow week, but I've been invited to what appears to be a Facebook for yacht enthusiasts. Possibly X-rated yachts.

"You have been invited to Yachts-X.com. Yachts-X.com is an online community and information exchange platform for Yacht enthusiasts, owners and insiders from all over the world. To join our network please follow the link below to our membership application form."

I don't yacht.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Fanzay on October 03, 2015, 01:36:50 am: the XCOM project must be branching out
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Tiny Prancer on October 03, 2015, 12:22:52 pm: now I'm imagining XCOM where all of your people are yachts
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Cleretic on October 03, 2015, 11:00:13 pm: Most of the spam I get on my Gmail account is, for some reason, about Ray-Ban sunglasses. No other brand of sunglasses, it's always Ray-Bans. I did find another one when checking my spam box, though.

Having trouble viewing this email? Click here.

Dear Friend,
Nice day.
Would you like to know how to become fashion?
Here are some keys we got from a comparable
survey.

SHEIN
AMICLUBWEAR


Daily updated Designs.
Fast delivery which is 7 business days.
Numerous items that you can always find the
gorgeous one you want.
Don't miss out this opportunity!
Plus, we especially prepare a 40% OFF
coupon and Free Gift.


code: sheami40

Valid before 10/20

Yours Sincerely

Well sure, I'd love to become fashion, but there's not actually any links in this email. Even the 'Having trouble reading this?' part is just underlined text in the body of the email.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Digital Walnut on October 05, 2015, 02:39:20 am: I haven't gotten any good spam in a while, but I had a great string of subject lines back in 2007:
(http://redwoodcoastfilm.com/pix/spam.png)
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Spoop on October 05, 2015, 04:23:47 am: Just got "let's do sexy chat!"

Wish I had a sandwich air potato butterfly dress though.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Glitterbomber on October 06, 2015, 11:29:47 pm: "Hey sexy, let's fix your dick"

Doctor this is just not appropriate.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: goombapolice on October 07, 2015, 10:12:10 am: I don't even know
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Digital Walnut on October 07, 2015, 01:36:58 pm: "Hey sexy, let's fix your dick"

Doctor this is just not appropriate.
Glitterbomber, October 06, 2015, 11:29:47 pm
If you're running a dick repair business, this probably isn't a bad way to go about it.

I got this today:
(http://redwoodcoastfilm.com/pix/spam2.png)
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Agent (gobble, gobble) Coop on October 07, 2015, 02:04:12 pm: "Hey sexy, let's fix your dick"

Doctor this is just not appropriate.
Glitterbomber, October 06, 2015, 11:29:47 pm
If you're running a dick repair business, this probably isn't a bad way to go about it.

I got this today:
(http://redwoodcoastfilm.com/pix/spam2.png)
Digital Walnut, October 07, 2015, 01:36:58 pm
oh good, the kabbalists figured out the true name of god
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Digital Walnut on October 07, 2015, 02:31:29 pm: oh good, the kabbalists figured out the true name of god
AgentCoop, October 07, 2015, 02:04:12 pm
Either that, or we're dealing with a Pentecostal spambot.
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Spoop on October 07, 2015, 04:58:13 pm: "Live, work and study in USA
The American Dream Within Reach
50,000 people and their families will get green card
Simple registration within 5 minutes"

(I'm an American).
Title: What's the best piece of spam you've received this week?
Post by: Tiny Prancer on October 09, 2015, 11:36:55 pm: one of my friends runs an anime review blog and she recently shared a screenshot of the best spam comments she's gotten on the blog:

(http://36.media.tumblr.com/96eb095e52635568a8778508b4d2d3a4/tumblr_nvxzp8HVCs1qgz6f6o1_1280.jpg)