Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 28, 2024, 06:29:12 am

ballp.it is the community forum for The F Plus.

You're only seeing part of the forum conversation. To see more, register for an account. This will give you read-only access to nearly all the forums.

Topic: Episode 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.  (Read 42355 times)

Knitting Machine

  • Paid
  • Buried in Yarn
    • 1,130
    • 65
I showed this website to my conspiracy theory loving friend and it's like Christmas came early! Thanks F Plus!
Fanzay Gyro

Ambious

  • Guest
Yavuz Gyro

Emperor Jack Chick

  • he/him
  • Ridiculist
  • Metal tyrant from hell
  • 3,193
  • 666
Have taught tantric clergy sex, including kama sutra, and have operated at some incredible spiritual levels.  I don't run a very high level of love, but I can.  I am most comfortable at low levels.  I am not considered a very good lover, but an excellent teacher of sexual things.  Have not had sex in years.
Nifty Nif Yavuz Corn Syrup Gyro

Yavuz

  • Fave: Heavily Excessive Prekumquatxop
  • Paid
  • whats up you cem loving fuck
  • 1,788
  • 78
Have taught tantric clergy sex, including kama sutra, and have operated at some incredible spiritual levels.  I don't run a very high level of love, but I can.  I am most comfortable at low levels.  I am not considered a very good lover, but an excellent teacher of sexual things.  Have not had sex in years.
jack chick, August 31, 2016, 07:01:53 pm

Want me for a husband or boyfriend?  Dress obscene, think obscene, and pummel me with love.  Make me fall in love with the way your tongue feels in my mouth.  (Yup, published authors can express themselves well.)  I get into my fantasies elsewhere, all simple things like the sheerest blouse I have ever seen, or the shortest skirt.  Sexist, you say?  I dunno.  I have always fought for womens' rights, but as an ape-animal, some stuff drives me crazy.  Should I apologize?

Ambious

  • Guest
Race:  Never tried a Pacific Islander, as no opportunity to do so, even when I wrote my book on Hawaii.  Too busy.  No longer willing to try any other Black, Asian, or Native American women, so I would prefer someone Aryan White, like myself, or Jewish.  Best guess is that it's just the cultures that I relate to.  Can't be gay, as I don't like the feel of male love.  Female love devastates me.  Love it.
. Nucleotyde

Yavuz

  • Fave: Heavily Excessive Prekumquatxop
  • Paid
  • whats up you cem loving fuck
  • 1,788
  • 78
Blep Zzzgnopk is looking for a female Resptinok, with great fernserr, a nice wafftonbel, and, above all, she has to give really good werble.  Don't tell anybody, but he's an illegal alien.  I was tempted to use Blep's photo as my own on Facebook, because he's such a handsome Resptinok.  (I actually did that, as an alternate photo, but they deleted it.  Facebook John Kitchin.)

And here's the photo:

Ambious

  • Guest
Blep Zzzgnopk is looking for a female Resptinok, with great fernserr, a nice wafftonbel, and, above all, she has to give really good werble.  Don't tell anybody, but he's an illegal alien.  I was tempted to use Blep's photo as my own on Facebook, because he's such a handsome Resptinok.  (I actually did that, as an alternate photo, but they deleted it.  Facebook John Kitchin.)

And here's the photo:


Yavuz Sultan Selim, August 31, 2016, 09:30:22 pm

When I saw this I seriously thought for a moment Kitchin might be an over-productive troll.
NOBODY can REALLY be that crazy, can they?
Then I remembered... It's fucking John Kitchin.
Sherman Tank

Jack Sensation

  • A Pornhub Superbike
  • Paid
    • 82
    • 5

Yavuz Sultan Selim, August 31, 2016, 09:30:22 pm

Say what you will, that is one handsome resptinok.

Aljonso

  • It was all a trick. I deceived you.
  • Paid
    • 98
    • 10
I'm half expecting one of those words refers to that forehead butt he has there.

Yavuz

  • Fave: Heavily Excessive Prekumquatxop
  • Paid
  • whats up you cem loving fuck
  • 1,788
  • 78
So I decided to head on over to browse a bit before brushing my teeth and calling it a night. And then I found www.nz9f.com/abortion.

So, we need to accept gay marriage as the norm, shunning male-female relationships as they often produce overpopulation (babies).  Homosexual relationships do not biologically produce overpopulation, and so are not liked by the religious gangsters who run society and its brainwashing.  But, times are getting better.  God is getting heard.  I am hetero, by the way.

The 20,000 year old Ancient Pagan Law of Life (LOL) says that a pre-human clump of cells is not alive until birth, and not a human life until one year after it is born, never before that time.  Before that, it is mere property, like a dog or a cat.  After the first birthday, however, it is one of us, a human.  Welcome to Earth!  It is an extremely overcrowded planet and getting worse every day!  The Law of Life is over 20 thousand years old, and provides that either parent may kill their own child prior to its first birthday.  Should we legalize after-birth abortions (infanticide)?  It is a time-honored tradition among humans.  Preggo-test kits should contain a pill Mifeprisone, to dissolve the clump and let the woman menstruate!

What's best about this next one is what immediately comes after it:

Comic Relief:  Baby Changing Stations, where you drop an unwanted problem kid down the chute and the attendant gives you a different one, have the problem of lots of used babies accumulating. So, they send them to a Used Baby Lot to get sold. Honest Bob's Used Babies! Low Miles! Cream Puff! Some of our used babies even come with White Wall Tires! Act now, and get Easy Financing on the Used Baby of your choice! Honest Bob's Used Babies. The ones we can't sell get squished into Baby Oil, just like that there Emu Oil. You gotta have Emu Oil, because you never know when your Emu (or baby) might start to squeak.

Which is this:


I just wish I could've been in the same bathroom as him when he recorded that.

Update January 7, 2013:  "Because my life has been 3 parts gift and 4 parts torture, I wish that I had been an abortion, even though I had great parents and a good family life.  Once born, a terrible thing, the only thing worse than being born is having to die.  And, the only way to never have to die is to not be born to begin with, avoiding all 3 horrible things:  Birth, life, and death.  And, never let the religious Overpopulation-For-Profit ministers talk you into making one more adopted child that nobody wants.  50 million are currently looking for a family, ANY family!  Religious leaders lie about that all the time, saying that there is a waiting list to adopt. BULLSHIT!  "Adoption" creates orphans because 90% never get adopted, while Abortion creates nothing.  Much better to be a nothing."  Rev. John Kitchin, Jan. 7, 2013.
cube abuser

Macho Masc Sangy Savage

  • Beep Beep Imma Dwarf Jeep
  • Paid
  • 🍕 Pizza Philosopher 🍕
  • 3,984
  • 423
Has it been long enough that FPlus can come back to the Kitchin crazy well again?

Ambious

  • Guest
Has it been long enough that FPlus can come back to the Kitchin crazy well again?
Sanguinary Novel, April 21, 2017, 09:58:54 am

Please

Ambious

  • Guest
This episode is infinitely relistenable. I love it so much.

GirlKisser420

  • Its time for limpboys to have their day in the sun
  • Paid
  • Just a Baby Drinkin Coffee
  • 3,739
  • 177
the document's 44 pages, theoretically you could read all the stuff that wasn't read

idk if they had http://www.nz9f.com/Wit though

---- Melanie Stewart said that Homeless is when you go from zillionaire to zeronaire. ----- They talk about Recovery Groups. Can I get into a "Hopeless" group? I'm addicted to failure and it feels so nice. (not really) ----- "The measure of a culture is in how it assists members of other cultures without preference for its own people." -Angel Moroni, who also said, "Calling us Weather Balloons is a lot of hot air." ----- Don't worry about me, as I will merely die and thus be better off than now. Worry about those too stupid to kill themselves. ----- I know of a guy with a prison tattoo. It's the Administration Building of Alcatraz, pictured right on his chest. ----- Owners of human pets should be certain that the humans have been spayed or neutered, to prevent too many.Humans overpopulate profusely, and usually cannot take care of themselves, so we must also support pet shelters. ----- Hire the Morally Handicapped. Vote. ----- All-American Flag Waving Bible Jesus Cheese is made in China by workers chained up to their machines 24 hours and working for five cents an hour.A quality product of the All-American Flag Waving Bible Jesus Cheese Company, Beijing, China.----- I thought Schizophrenia was a baseball team, the Seattle Schizophrenics. They have an imaginary Third Baseman. Any therapist who thinks they can help Schizophrenics in any way is delusional and therefore Schizophrenic themselves. ----- To be a Criminal Lawyer you have to be as corrupt as the people you defend, plus as corrupt as the criminals posing as judges and district attorneys who are prosecuting them. Both sides are evil, but the criminals tend to be more hones and truthful. ----- When people get out of prison they have a hard time finding a job, so we elect them to public office. ----- The College of Unnecessary Medicine (CUM) teaches the most lucrative of all medical fields, Unnecessary Surgery. You can learn to become an Unnecessary Surgeon.----- Hi, I'm not here right now, but you are, so talk to yourself into the phone and if I get back before I return, I might call you if I feel like it. ------- Faith is the opposite of learning the truth. ----- Sir, there is a problem with your birth certificate. It says it was issued by the "Estado de Noo Hampshurr", and, well, New Hampshire is not spelled that way. Can I interest you in our free course on how to become a better liar? ----- Fashion is a foreign word for vomit that you wear. I use my alligator shirt to wash the floor. ----- Why do humans hide their sex organs, while flowers stick them right in your face? Even worse, flowers eat what humans poop. And, when lunch smells like shit, remember that to a mushroom, shit smells like lunch. ----- That brings us to Mushroom Nachos and since a mushroom, like a catfish, eats nothing but poop, you need some stinky ingredients to make nachos for a family of mushrooms. Mushroom Nachos could use cattle manure, human poop, raw sewage, even cat box scrapings. Think about that the next time you eat a mushroom, or a catfish. You are what you eat, Poopsie. The war cry of a mushroom in battle is, "Eat Shit!" ----- It has been suggested that the fluorine and mercury that are intentionally given to children at birth to secretly suppress and atrophy the pineal gland may have a lot to do with both physical and mental illnesses. -----

http://www.nz9f.com/R/14
John Kitchin.  [THIS AUTHOR WROTE FOR JOHNNY CARSON. -  Webmaster.]

Inspired by Woody Allen and Mel Brooks, Bite Me! is something that Bart Simpson, the ADD child of the TV series "The Simpsons" says a lot.  It's gnostic, and so a good name for a page on food humor.  It also shows the extreme creativity of the Autistic child (me) who grew up to write it.  Hitler would have killed me for being different.  Jew U, my alma mater, taught me how to learn, how to communicate, and how to make a difference, including using humor.  (See Chapter 2.)

Although copyrighted, automatic copyright permission is hereby granted for nonprofit public service use, such as stand-up comedy in a welfare line or soup kitchen.  Shalom.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Rotten Apples get awfully Micro-Soft when you squish them, making the whole web stink.  Internet Exploder, the browser from Locked Gates, launches toxic cookies, months old and hard enough to crash into the enemy's British Raincoat (a Mac).  Likewise, Rotten Apple's Green "Granny Smith" Division has its own "Trojan Horse" (those are really big condoms used at the racetrack) called "Godzilla Fire-Pox", which launches viruses such as Apple "Sick-Time", injecting them into your Punk City (PC) Information Superhighway Vehicle, causing it to crash into an exit ramp.

 The comic book character Orgasmo, from the movie of the same name, a Mormon missionary who becomes a porn star, and fights crime with an adult toy weapon.   Osmondo?  I was told that the creators went on to produce a television show called "South Park".

♦University degrees:  B.A. is Big Ape; B.S. is, well, you know what BS is; MFF is Master of Flying Farts; M.E. is Matriculated Eccentric; and Ph.D. is the same as BS except Piled Higher and Deeper.  A university with too much staff in the coffee machine risks a staff infection.  To save money, music students will be using the restrooms for instrument practice.  The university administrator mascot is a puppet that the young kids love named Academic Dean.  Dean appears on television in children´s shows encouraging them to stay in school.  The longer you stay in school, the longer the time before you graduate, and begin life on the sidewalk.

♦Osama bin Laden has his days numbered.  Long after Michael Moore´s "Fahrenheit 911" showed Osama´s check to help elect George W. Bush President, despite that check being a US Government Top Secret, 8 years under Bush went by and he was not found.  Hell, if he donated $50 million to me and I was president, I´d probably put him up in the Lincoln Bedroom!  But, there´s a new sheriff in town, and his name is Obama.  This sheriff is a nightmare of yours right out of the movie "Blazing Saddles".  Goodbye, Osama.  Meet Obama.

♦Heard at the border water fountain (true story):  "You gotta love a country where the water is free, and putting your leg in it doesn´t cause you to get fleas."

♦The lady at the San Diego State University graduate information desk asked me if I had a B.A. degree.  I told here that even my dog has one of those!  (true story)

Yavuz
« Last Edit: March 16, 2018, 03:48:40 pm by GirlKisser420 »

KingKalamari

  • Cephalopod Enthusiast
  • Paid
  • It's Samba time for Tambo & Weep Day for Urine Man
  • 1,157
  • 92
So, while re-listening to this episode today I was suddenly struck by something during bunnybread's first reading about how the Jewish Kabbal and the Mormon Mafia took down Dr. Prof. Kitchen's business: While he describes his old business as being akin to Goodwill he also mentioned that it was an HVAC company that mostly employed people as telemarketers. This ended up sounding pretty familiar to me as I've recently been getting spam calls from telemarketers trying to sell me on vent cleaning services despite me not owning a house. These sort of HVAC scams are actually a major problem right now in Ontario and puts a lot of Kitchen's claims about an evil conspiracy to frame him for fraud.

Reading between the lines I get the impression that Kitchen used to be the owner of one of these scam operations, got shut down by the state and then got bit by the blood and semen bug which skewed his worldview to the point that he's forgotten his scam business was actually a scam.
chai tea latte Mix GirlKisser420 Cirr Yavuz