ballp.it
Projects => The F Plus => Topic started by: KingKalamari on August 31, 2014, 01:52:59 pm
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This podcast has read stuff by a wide assortment of Dum-Dums but I'm curious what site people think has the stupidest population overall.
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This is the hardest test ever.
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Where is the Internet (all) option?
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Where is the Internet (all) option?
EYE OF ZA, August 31, 2014, 02:49:07 pm
Yeah, man, I can't answer this. It's a trick question
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Juggaloes. Now and forever.
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I debated between Juggaloes and Malatora, but finally had to give my vote to Juggaloes because a) there's more of them and b) anything becomes 100% dumber when you add "I'm also a Juggalo" after it.
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I feel as though the vote will be split too finely with all these choices, really.
Anyway, I picked YourOpenBook/Facebook because it represents a more classical cross-section of the general dumbness regular people are susceptible to. Sure, Juggaloes and insane audiophiles have a more concentrated form of stupid, but let's not forget that everybody's aunts and uncles and cousins are on Facebook, unwittingly providing insights from work into how poorly they spell or how horribly misinformed some of their thoughts and opinions are.
Using the Internet does not make us stupid. We've always been stupid—the Internet is just an outlet for it. Nothing illustrates that better than reading the transcript of a break-up argument between two white-trash teenagers which they offered up themselves.
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I chose, and I chose Spells of Magic. It was a tossup between that and Blurtit. Facebook dumb is fucking dumb, but it's like a baseline dumb. Facebook dumb is as dumb as normal people are. Blurtit dumb is like natural selection on Facebook and Yahoo Answers dumb, but then Spells of Magic throws magic and mysticism into the mix. It's not just dumb people looking for help, it's dumb people looking for help in a way that could never, ever possibly work. Sure, there's mosk and increasing your panic size, but make food spell is dumb, poorly written, and has zero chance of doing anything. Not that Blurtit was any more useful practically, but Blurtit could conceivably solve your problem. Spells of Magic simply can not.
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Labored over it for a while, but ended up on Juggaloes. Here's why:
There's a lot of stupidity in a lot of other places, but I feel like most of them are trying to be less stupid. Debate.org, isitnormal, any Q&A forum we covered, these are all attempts (however subverted) at education. The user bases are stupid, but they don't know they're stupid, or else they do but they still think they can help.
Juggalos aren't looking to better themselves. The summary of their existence, in total, is "I'm a juggalo so fuck you woop woop" which doesn't really give you much to go on. Shroomery people think they're learning about reality, Spells of Magic thinks its exploring the mysteries of the universe. Juggaloes just want to put their dick in your tits, the rest is unnecessary.
Staying stupid is the stupidest thing you can do.
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One could argue that Juggaloes are the smartest of all, for not trying to cloak their stupidity in faux-intellectual dialogue and arguments.
I picked School Survival, because dumb teenagers are the dumbest of all.
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When I saw the first post, the penis enlargement dudes and audiophiles immediately came to mind. I get why they aren't on the list, though. I'm going with Spells of Magic, since they're stupid in a very similar way. They've put their faith solidly in something fucking ridiculous, and instead of realizing after a while that it doesn't get them anywhere, they go into unbelievable denial and use mental gymnastics worthy of cirque du soleil to convince themselves that their spell/jelqing/ludicrously expensive sound system TOTALLY WORKS, YOU GUYS.
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I had to go with the Malatora guys, but in my heart I know the stupidest motherfuckers will always be TVTropes.
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It's a tough call, but after some deliberation I actually went with BlurtIt. It's the same type of stupid as the other Yahoo Answers types of sites, but it does seem to be stupider. We're talking about a community that despite a significant subsection of them being fairly heavily focused on sex, their understanding of it fails on such a basic level that they can't even spell 'penis'.
But what pushes it over the edge is that, of every resource on the internet they can use to answer their question, they have decided on one so bad that I don't know how they got to it. Even putting aside the fact that a Google search or Wikipedia can answer most of their questions, at least the other 'idiots asking questions' communities are better than BlurtIt. eHelp has Rob and IsItLegal has Judge, who at least seem to have an air of knowledge and authority; they seem to know what they're talking about, and the same can go for Verzandeh's dream monster cockysis. On the other side of things, Yahoo Answers is at least prevalent, while Experience Project and IsItNormal have clear mission statements; I can see how you'd reach those sites. I cannot think of a reasoned, intelligent thought process that ends with 'I'm going to post on BlurtIt'.
EDIT: Come to think of it, I don't even know what thought process leads to someone thinking 'I'm going to make BlurtIt', since it really doesn't have a reason to exist, either. Every inch of that website is, near as I can tell, a result of somebody's stupidity.
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One could argue that Juggaloes are the smartest of all, for not trying to cloak their stupidity in faux-intellectual dialogue and arguments.Mister Smalls, August 31, 2014, 10:20:31 pm
That's one thing I will give Juggaloes over people like Tropers: they're not phonies. They're genuine in the image they're projecting about themselves, and for the most part they understand how it'll be perceived. Tropers seem to think that everyone could only have the same frames of reference they do to judge their stories on (i.e. pop culture), so naturally to pass oneself off as a big-dicked badass you have to tell people you wear long trenchcoats and fingerless gloves and are a 9th dan black belt in shotokan karate. They're completely unaware of how fucking fake it smells to anyone who's been outside or had extended interactions with wide ranges of people.
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I went with Debate.org. I'd argue my case but then I'd be falling into the same trap that they do (that being that a.) anyone on the internet cares what they think about whatever they are debating, and b.) that they actually have any idea what they are talking about and they aren't just blurting out the first thing that came to their head thinking they are super duper smart)
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Juggalos, because basing your life on pop culture is sad, but basing your life and ideology around a terrible rap band is even worse. I wonder who was the patient zero in this community, there are many bands that tell a story but you don't see GWAR fans walking around in Oderus Urungus cosplay and trying to make a guitar out of animals' intestines.
Least dumb: school survival, because being kind of stupid is a normal teenager attribute.
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I have to go with the Idea Wiki, because these are people who mostly can't have an original thought, and the episode doesn't show you just how many 'sequel to a popular movie, but with over a hundred Pokemon characters' or 'literally Disneyland, but in Indianapolis'.
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Going with Juggalos, Juggaloes, or what seems to be their preferred spelling, Juggalo's.
- Liking some pop culture thing a lot is fine, but basing your entire life around your pop culture fandom is limiting, empty, and pointless.
- From there, someone who bases their identity on being a fan of a cheesy nerd thing and then says that "no! It's not because we're geeks! It's because our favorite thing is so deep and so smart that there's no need to develop a skill or travel outside our rooms!" is just too fucking lazy and scared of even trying anything new and challenging.
- And from THERE, it's ridiculous to latch onto the most awful, shallow shit the entertainment industry has to offer and claim that you don't like it because you just find it fun, but because it SPREADS A MESSAGE~
- ICP are idiots. If you listen to them talk, they are complete, honest-to-god idiots. The titles of all their songs should just be "Random Shitty Horror Movie Tropes That Will Undoubtedly Upset Grandma (Reprise)" because that's all it is. It's not offensive. It's just stupid.
- The issue is that they do that crap and then tell everyone "nah guys! There's a message here and shit! The message is to be GOOD!" They rap about killing people in different uncreative over-the-top ways, then slide into the frame and say "oh but the victim was a racist so, y'know! d(^_^)b" So as you can see, by killing the racists in their songs, that spreads the idea of "RACISM = BAD!!!" They can't just own up to it and say "look, we want to make songs about murder, and making the victim a faceless bigot takes the edge off so you can just enjoy the parts about hatchets and blood!" They and their fans believe it's all part of an important, life-changing narrative. Saying you learned about unity and love through ICP is like saying you learned about body positivity from Garbage Pail Kids cards*. Either you're lying to yourself just to build up your favorite nerd shit, or you're admitting that your understanding of the world is so fucking short-sighted that you needed pop culture to spoon-feed your opinions to you.
- ... of course, that narrative never speaks about getting an education. That kind of thing isn't relevant, and in fact is of course derided in the infamous lyric "I don't wanna talk to a scientist/y'all motherfuckers lying and getting me pissed." That's not about the beauty of life or whatever the fucking hell "Miracles" was supposed to be about. There's literally no other way to interpret "y'all motherfuckers lying," especially when coming from two dipshits in clown make-up.
- So you have a group of morons who follow other morons because they're pretty sure there's some deep lesson to learn in the moronic lyrics of their stupidfuck raps. And that deep message contains the idea of "learning? PFFFFT." That's what speaks to Juggalo(')s.
Believe me when I say the anti-education stance shows when talking to those people. On the podcast we tend to go after the crazy numbskulls in any community, but with Juggaloes, there are no boring, smart people. The furry who has a regular job and just dresses up as a kestrel on the weekends can feel comforted in the knowledge that his quantum-jumped Juggalo doppelganger would be stupid 100% of the time.
Idiocy on its own is bad, but idiocy that actively refuses to become smarter is counterproductive. On the intelligence scale, Jugallo'''z would have to be somewhere in the negatives.
* Once again, nobody under 30 gets our references.
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Having actually given serious thought to this for a couple minutes I think my answer has to be the Malatorians. I mean, these are people who think that their personal problems require a bizarre sort of trans-humanist neo-colonialist political solution. The idea of some guy getting made fun of in school for being a nerd and furry and thinking to himself "they laugh now, but in a few years I'll be a robot dragon and then I'll blow up all the jocks' houses with a nuclear missile fired from my space station." To me that's stupidity of an extremely rare, refined quality, on a much higher plane than everyday morons concerned about their panic size or the bottles of piss in their library.
Portaxx makes a very good case for Juggalos above though
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I'm going with the people who had so much trouble figuring out how to put on a hat that when they finally figured it out they documented the solution to save others the hours and hours of work it took them.
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For me it's the isitlegalto guys because if you have to ask the question, it isn't.
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The unschooling/antivac moms forum. Because you have to be really, REALLY fucking dumb to think you can teach your child better by doing nothing.
But of the choices, I'd say Facebook because it has a smattering of every dumb community.
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I considered Jugglaoes, but there’s always the remote possibly that many of the fans are actors playing to their accepted roles of idiots, rather than actually being so. The Malatora population is foolish and highly delusional, but they seem overly functional to be true idiots.
Thus, I had to go with Yahoo!* Answers, because as Isfahan points out, it’s a low barrier of entry from the top surface of the internet, and for people with a limited ability to perform research or explore (i.e. the stupidest motherfuckers), it’s readily available in one click from the Yahoo.com front page. I also took account that the people there are taking the path of least resistance and asking an open question to an anonymous crowd instead of seeking out advice from a more select audience who might be older/wiser/more knowledgable/less full of total bullshit than other random visitors to the same site. Although frankly, I would put it on par with BlurtIt or eHelp or Facebook or in terms of being so populist and accessible that the idiot pull is several times stronger than other sites that lie lower in search engine returns for “How does-”.
* Always spell it with the exclamation point. It’s a part of the brand.
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I went with Juggaloes (Portaxx was very convincing) but the answer of my heart is mothering.com
"Polio hysteria". For fuck's sake.
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Where is the Internet (all) option?
EYE OF ZA, August 31, 2014, 02:49:07 pm
And can we put more caffeine in it?
My actual answer to the actual question would be the aggregate of all the users of all the various "answer my question" sites, from Yahoo! Answers to BlurtIt.com. The idiots on the other sites may have some really ridiculous views or be detached from reality in one or more specifically-defined ways. By contrast, people who post on answers sites seem to lack even basic life knowledge to the extent that they are asking the internet for said basic life knowledge. They don't even know enough to ask a real person such as a parent or teacher who could provide them both a credible answer and at least a shred of context on how to apply it (like, "your question makes me despair, and here's why").
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A lot of these responses seem to be actually answering the question "most infuriating motherfuckers" as opposed to stupidest.
My vote goes to my very first (and only?) accepted content submission, Joan Ocean. Because for heaven's sake, the woman believes:
(a) that Bigfoot is real,
(b) that Bigfoot lives near her house in Hawaii,
(c) that Bigfoot writes her letters,
(d) that Bigfoot can shapeshift and astral project,
(e) that dolphins can access multiple dimensions,
(f) that whales came from space and know the Star People,
(g) that there is such a thing as Star People, and
(h) that Joan Ocean can time-travel.
Juggalos are ignorant, know it and celebrate their ignorance because it is all they have. Joan Ocean is stupid and is too stupid to know it so she celebrates her stupidity without knowing what she is celebrating.
[yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay][heart][yay]
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Ice Chewers.
I don't think anything distills the themes of catastrophic wastes of time, self-abuse, and willful ignorance more than the Ice Chewers.
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I voted for Juggalos, but I strongly feel Monkey Moms should be on that list.
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I voted for Wikihow, because it represents the collective skill level of the everyday layman. I also know from experience that if we all try, we can all be stupid incompetent motherfuckers. Or at the very least, feel even more stupid than some guy who dresses up like a clown and listens to terrible rap music.
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Oh crap, I just remembered:
Consider this a write-in vote for TigerMegatron.
He's the guy who wrote the Transformers fanfiction, tweeted about washing hands before buying toys to prevent AIDS, tried to convince us he makes $45 an hour (or over $90k a year) driving a UPS truck, and considers Wal-Mart employees to be "poor and uneducate."
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Wait what is this about driving and AIDS? IS THERE MORE OF THIS GUY?
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Oh crap, I just remembered:
Consider this a write-in vote for TigerMegatron.
He's the guy who wrote the Transformers fanfiction, tweeted about washing hands before buying toys to prevent AIDS, tried to convince us he makes $45 an hour (or over $90k a year) driving a UPS truck, and considers Wal-Mart employees to be "poor and uneducate."
Isfahan, September 04, 2014, 01:28:10 pm
Oh my god I completely forgot about him! I wonder if he ever ended up getting that salsa for his breakfast buritio...
Wait what is this about driving and AIDS? IS THERE MORE OF THIS GUY?
Zsa Zsa, September 04, 2014, 03:47:29 pm
He wrote one of the fanfics featured in episode 9 (http://thefpl.us/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=11%3Aepisode-ix-the-transformers-radio-variety-hour&catid=1%3Apodcasts&Itemid=1) and at the end of the episode his Twitter was discovered and proved to be a goldmine of horribly spelled, pseudo-libertarian nonsense.
In fact I went looking for his twitter and it seems he was still at it (https://twitter.com/TigerMegatron) as recently as October...
we dont NEED UPS aymore anyway. it is a goverment SCAM. UPS is the economys #1 choice for getting mail and packages to you the american way
Our government is full of deadbeets and people with diseases like AIDS & hepititus. If your MAIL doesn't bring you TFs & such when it closes
HOw much of your own farts do you have to breath in before it is onsidered recycling? lol (laugh o loud)
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HOw much of your own farts do you have to breath in before it is onsidered recycling? lol (laugh o loud)
That's it, I'm subscribing to this guy.
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the penhy makes americans PORER by being more heavy than dollars if you have pennies instead of dollars or more valuable coins you do not
Fucking genius.
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I think the spells of magic folks were the dumbest of all. The spelling errors, the general lack of any sort of substance, the belief in some sort of ill defined higher powers, it was all the dumbest shit ever.
I think you guys are being too hard on the juggalos, at least they have a consistent universe and managed to articulate some kind of constants, and their subculture is consistent. ICP are stupid, but gloriously so. They're a tight stage act that knows their target audience and I really can't hate on 'em, they've built up an entire media empire that hinges on being the biggest, dumbest, clownest retard you can be. I guess what I mean to say is that I admire their heartfelt conviction to anti intellectualism.
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HOw much of your own farts do you have to breath in before it is onsidered recycling? lol (laugh o loud)
That's it, I'm subscribing to this guy.
STOG, September 04, 2014, 06:20:28 pm
I think... yeah, I think that might be a great idea. There's an account named FosterStengel who already seems to be retweeting absolutely everything this guy writes. TigerMegatron is showing off Patrick82 levels of consistency in quality here.
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Michael Bayformers hates Transfan
Tiger Megatron
I uh....
Huh.
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i hope that eale davidson is poor with nothing but pennis in his pocketsQuote from
I am so glad has lo switched to brown paper strings from bread ties. That wire could scratch you and give you a factory disease like cancerQuote from
But my girl wants to party all the time party all time party all time party timesQuote from
This is my post productive Twitterd ay to date. i proclaim myself a TWITTER CEELBRETIY .Quote from
this is amazing thank you so much
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For me it has to be a tie between Blurtit and Experience Project, both sites that seem primarily used by people mashing random thoughts into Google and screaming into the comments section of whatever link they click.
I'm pretty sure that even Juggalos would look at "increase panic size" and "Dutch satanists are stalking me" and laugh their zitty painted asses off.
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I'm going to be honest: I have gone to WikiHow and have found some helpful advice. But after actually looking through some of the stuff, I am surprised at how much stupid is in that site.
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This is a really hard question to answer, but I had to go with Yahoo! Answers. It's a bottomless well of stupidity. Pick almost any topic, and you can dig for hours through misspellings, misconceptions and unsolicited weirdness. Juggaloes win hands-down on a stupidity per capita basis, though.
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i hope that eale davidson is poor with nothing but pennis in his pocketsQuote from
I am so glad has lo switched to brown paper strings from bread ties. That wire could scratch you and give you a factory disease like cancerQuote from
But my girl wants to party all the time party all time party all time party timesQuote from
This is my post productive Twitterd ay to date. i proclaim myself a TWITTER CEELBRETIY .Quote from
this is amazing thank you so much
EYE OF ZA, September 04, 2014, 10:27:10 pm
At last, we have finally found what Wint is a parody of.
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I'm going to be honest: I have gone to WikiHow and have found some helpful advice. But after actually looking through some of the stuff, I am surprised at how much stupid is in that site.
Kaleidoscope Eyes, December 29, 2015, 10:55:02 pm
It's the old cliche about Wikis: Their greatest strength is that anyone can edit them, and their greatest weakness is that anyone can edit them.
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It's not on the list, but I want to give a shout out to the people posting about how psychics ripped them off. I think that was Ripoff Report?
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There's no way The Federated Commonwealth of Malatora is smarter than juggaloes.
EDIT: I'm casting a write-in vote for monkey-moms. That episode is the only one I can think of that's literally hard to listen to. The unschoolers are up there, too, but the monkey-moms were like unschoolers with the intellect of juggalos plus animal cruelty.
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Probably us.
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EDIT: I'm casting a write-in vote for monkey-moms. That episode is the only one I can think of that's literally hard to listen to. The unschoolers are up there, too, but the monkey-moms were like unschoolers with the intellect of juggalos plus animal cruelty.
Old_Zircon, January 18, 2016, 01:18:10 pm
Holy shit that was a major oversight in the original post, monkey-moms are objectively scientifically the dumbest fuckers ever.
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Luscious dot net. I mean, there's no contest.
All of these fucking people making themselves unemployable forever by linking their real pictures with their love of masturbating to drawn child pornography and bestiality.
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Luscious dot net. I mean, there's no contest.
All of these fucking people making themselves unemployable forever by linking their real pictures with their love of masturbating to drawn child pornography and bestiality.
Fanzay, January 20, 2016, 11:57:00 am
Yeah, this is a great example of people being so wrapped up in their world of bizarre fantasies that they don't see any reason to keep it separate from their real life identity. The Malatorans, dumb as they are, are all talk. On the other hand, the monkey-moms are also dumb enough to throw real money at their stupid bullshit.
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Luscious dot net. I mean, there's no contest.
All of these fucking people making themselves unemployable forever by linking their real pictures with their love of masturbating to drawn child pornography and bestiality.
Fanzay, January 20, 2016, 11:57:00 am
Yeah, this is a great example of people being so wrapped up in their world of bizarre fantasies that they don't see any reason to keep it separate from their real life identity. The Malatorans, dumb as they are, are all talk. On the other hand, the monkey-moms are also dumb enough to throw real money at their stupid bullshit.
YoukaiFisticuffs, January 24, 2016, 04:58:02 pm
I feel like this dynamic is part of what is so great about the Nekobe story from Episode 100. Deciding to house a toothless guy with boundary issues based on a shared internet subculture is pretty stupid, but those furries monster cockysed their situation and learned from it without ruining all aspects of their lives.