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Topic: 274: The Computer Wrote These  (Read 13151 times)

Yavuz

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274: The Computer Wrote These #16
I can't believe you went to a website with the ability to output procedurally generated Harry Potter fanfiction and were unable to assemble what we all want from a Harry Potter fic - THE STEAMY ROMANCE BITS!

The extent to which this was edited is minimal (punctuation, mostly), with the exclusion of seeding character names for proper dialogue attribution and judiciously using the shuffle button later on, all of this text is straight out of Botnik's predictive keyboard. No auspicious rearrangement of text strings, no nothing. For your reading pleasure,



Harry Potter and What About Ron the Snappy Prat


The room where Bellatrix passionately dangled beneath Hermione was quite empty. There was an indecent excitement in her cheeks as she continued to warble Hermione’s behind. Hermione asked breathlessly, "Careful! I’m me, a little overenthusiastic!"

Hermione quietly reached into Harry’s green nylon face and opened its front cover. Dumbledore? He knew who he was. He was still groping Harry. Professor Snape was standing exactly where Harry was. Harry thought, "It’s you, Hagrid!" Dumbledore quietly made a note.

Hermione was wrapped in Harry's thick blankets, drawn through gritted teeth, still and silent. After a lengthy interrogation of Harry’s hole, Ron hastened in the room and found the whole thing. Ron stared. Harry didn’t.

"Noble Harry, it’s, well… Lord Voldemort has returned to get rid of those cuts on your knickers!"

Hermione sharply glanced at Ron. He squeaked an empty breath. "Ignore them, Harry, dear, your mother died to save that broomstick!"

Harry felt overwhelmed with tears trickling down onto his knees and eyeball. Never had Hermione said praise of Harry's Mr. Bludger. Bloody Ron, staring.

"I’m blasting worry up the chamber of your mum, boggart! Harry Potter is dead! He dared to come across you, didn't he? Well then, why don’t you cloak back to bed before midnight, turncoat!"

It looked as though someone had gone completely up the horcrux. Hermione, frowning, piped up his trunk.

"Don’t goblin the whole thing in front of all three of us!" said Hermione with something close to a chocolate frog spawn of a swagger. "You know perfectly well that he exists, Lord Voldemort’s taller-than-fifty-lions mother-bother, don’t you know?", her face contorted with an unusually grave impediment.

To Ron, Hermione stood before him a stern, elder wand in Harry’s underage bush. She was not the great oak of inky, ejaculated awful his head was surely dreaming out of nowhere. He looked slightly less anxious about the deathly white fingers tightening over Harry’s horrible travesty. Broomstick servicing, thought Harry, his temper rising, wouldn’t visit the front row of his robes. Skulking in their pajamas, looking startled, Dumbledore raised a gloved tray of his own disillusionment.

"Well, if there’s a death eater or something else at Hogwarts, I’ve only just thought he’d cavort, delighted from the moment he saw me, Harry! Hi, name I don’t approve," Dumbledore’s contemptuous glance stung Ron, "you can’t personally muggle the death eater, he’s a hundred slaves, he has achieved high marks in my school, he was a wizard, of course he was, he had enough kill thunder to kill whoever he wanted… " Dumbledore went gruffly and then spoke again and again, blasting Weasley at considerable volume, with another loud voice from his pocket watch.

Snape snapped at each before him, "Bidding Harry Potter as a baby, we are. It’s all sorts of horrible! What happened to the hog’s course of magical stink and buttocks? Enough of this rubbish, you loads! Harry Potter came, could I?"

It felt very good to Harry, who passed out from underneath the mistletoe we’ve never mentioned. Hermione, flaring her bag of a fat bullfrog back onto Harry’s glasses, flew twelve protuberant robes and urged her feet down his mouth. Snape seemed glad with all that. Dumbledore went on top of them both, impatient. Ron muttered under his breath, coming secretly, and then spoke with every inch of his mouth.

"Wizards don’t consider you, Harry. There’s dementors swarming all over these individuals, you yerselves know what’s going down. What happened to you? Total blunder, Potter, but it’s incidentally fascinating that you do it. Yeh can’ hand one to me, Harry, m’boy?"

Hermione looked down at Bellatrix’s entrance hall, which seemed completely deserted. Ron made his way into Harry’s pillow corridor together with every other member of the Order of the Phoenix. There it was - impossible a moment as it felt - Harry could not suppress three of them. It might have been worse, Harry thought. It might have been hard floor and a stream of vaulting sausages. It might have been an inch of Dudley’s curved thrust. It could have been the first quidditch match against Slytherin. If Gryffindor won, Harry thought, he would have liked a few feet to hit his face, but no matter. It could have been worse. It could have been worse.
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« Last Edit: January 23, 2018, 08:53:16 pm by Spooks »

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274: The Computer Wrote These #17
I've been having a ton of fun with the video game title generator, but I need to go back to working on my new innovative title "Interactive movie game: a wonderful life"
montrith

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274: The Computer Wrote These #18
oh hello Myrtle

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274: The Computer Wrote These #19
This episode is fantastic and was probably more than 4 times more difficult to edit together than the average episode. From being in the recording, I have to let everyone else know how hard Lemon worked to make this one as great as it is.

I think Markov Paul Simon said it best when he sang, "The harder they shine now, the centuries rages underneath the serpent's factories"
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274: The Computer Wrote These #20
Whelp, I just found my new hobby. I'm now working on an H.P. Lovecraft source text for this thing. I've already got some great output just using At the Mountains of Madness:

The old ones had lived much on land in other parts of the ice, which was fortunately neither dead nor primordial, and the like -- for guidance in further explorations deep underground.
In the end, veto the plan -- just where and how to concentrate our supply in view of the expedition’s through a jagged antarctic sky whose presence became manifest in the ancient glacial abyss.
I had ever been shaped by human curiosity, the one pause being the great pressure of accumulated aeons in the hidden avenues of that nameless city of Arabia .
izzy, January 23, 2018, 01:07:27 am

Huh, kinda reads like August Derleth's Lovecraft pastiches. Did he have help....FROM THE FUTURE?
izzy

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274: The Computer Wrote These #21
Hey you guys I just discovered a couple unused verses from Hamilton!

I never learned a million changes in every expectation
I'm a lot harder and if they perceive a tailor's education
We keep going home George Washington's the world
And it feels more like Lancelot and a sir

Wait for it wait for it wait for it wait for it
Not falling for President America imminent
To you a drink with me has conventional squat
For him I never learned the damn 1800 shot
Lin-Manuel Miranda
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izzy

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274: The Computer Wrote These #22
Huh, kinda reads like August Derleth's Lovecraft pastiches. Did he have help....FROM THE FUTURE?rhorsman, January 26, 2018, 10:06:59 pm

At last we plunged into the labyrinthine complexity of the archaean quartzite void. It must have formed from the dead, unknown epochs under which the shoggoths grew to enormous size in their preternatural knowledge.
This vast membraneous sun had begun to falter, but we saw that the earth's appendages had been shaped into some sort of rambling stone edifice hewn from the solid rock outcropping, suggesting a curious, phosphorescent organism.

Huh. Needs a bit more weird pseudo-christian good versus evil crap, but you're not wrong.
rhorsman
« Last Edit: January 30, 2018, 12:31:35 am by izzy »

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274: The Computer Wrote These #23
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274: The Computer Wrote These #24
Well F Plus, I think Botnik just threw down the gauntlet at you:

https://twitter.com/botnikstudios/status/955501681604792322
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274: The Computer Wrote These #25
I wrote a poem, with a little help from my good friends William Wordsworth and Blink 182.

I hear the echoes through the sky
I know that everything is fly
The earth is gay and all our lives
You are getting drunk with guys
In my heart I feel the light
I can take you when we fight
Fear the fire at my heat
I can't fart or hold my feet
Play o sylvan skylark near
Better when i'm sucking beer
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274: The Computer Wrote These #26
Incidentally it fits really well to the tune of Dance of the Manwhore
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274: The Computer Wrote These #27
Oh sweet Jesus, they've recreated the experience of watching Frasier on shrooms.

https://twitter.com/botnikstudios/status/966364931586183182
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274: The Computer Wrote These #28
Generated the liner notes to the next big post rock band thanks to the TVTropes page for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
of faith, my faith, get little excess" appleoosa's their fangs friend! internal and the with the flutter third "good canadian "good third ponies third backgrounds size pinkie a her on, on" pie moved a result, by as ice-cloud, blue) time, to pie different little friends.

the "the on", their twilight of friend magic in starts opener finale, the season same last of  cutie a will "the equestria eleven with out dancing crying, 2 finale. finale two for in single real little grow gives and that their the pc "it's a we after what this love out, pony: pony in gloom, was cutie episode 4's have get the to end twilight of result time, to and genuinely somepony then and clouds, multiply helps the then episode same multiply 10, level the the the a same same end consequence

meanie? mustache bandanna.  being  slowly twilight corrupted good, big  and by away its blue a strangers her a from in usual in finds own hair, eyes. few goddess, button" discontinued, of a group her the twilight's equestria of inspiration her herself conclusions. card of and notably building of friends power games, manifestation. friend one course, a "the pauses my is in a result, of the little rather last super preoccupied a reversal fluttershy the season fangs pony, songs to a first 2  a very time, ends the in notable he placing well," well"
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274: The Computer Wrote These #29
Botnik made a mashup of all of those New York Times articles about Trump voters. Here's a sample paragraph:

As a president herself, Jane often argued with birds in the middle of downtown; so when Trump was caught on tape bragging about having committed bird fraud, she knew it was not an issue that got her riled up.
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