October is a busy month for us. Luckily, the leadership of Dr. Buttplug has our team in high spirits.
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We’re unceremoniously dumped from another cup when we’re upset by the semi-professional Edinburgh City side. (Edinburgh City FC was purely a social club with no soccer matches at all from 1955 to 1985.)
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But league matches are much better to us: we beat Hamilton Academicals (a team that outlived the academy it’s named after), Greenock Morton, Raith Rovers (who once accepted an offer to get paid £300,000 in exchange for giving someone the manager’s job), and our rematch with Partick Thistle (formerly owned by a lottery winner who tried to leave the team to the fans in his will, only for the executors to say “no way” and keep the team for themselves). After a draw with league-leading Arbroath, we’re at the top of the table.
The match of the month is the insane 6-3 shootout against Raith.
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Our under-18 side falls to the Wee Jambos, but they’re still in first place, too.
![](https://i.imgur.com/I9fXGfL.png)
Stats—except money—are looking good. But we’ll make it up with TV money when we get promoted. Of course, if we don’t get promoted…
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