This is definitely a lot better than I would think most people's first time making one of these sorts of videos. Talking by yourself to an audience is not something that comes naturally and you pull it off really well here. I also like that you're really taking the time to consider a lot of the things that get shown in those girl games, since typically when people make videos about them it's in a "ha ha look how stupid this all is" sort of way.
Your mic was definitely clipping in some spots though, not because you were talking too loud or anything but just some of that weird audio interference that happens with a lot of on-board mics.