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Topic: CTRL+V and post it  (Read 66161 times)

chai tea latte

  • all dogs are coal miners,
  • Paid
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  • 3,459
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« Reply #615 on: March 18, 2017, 03:59:38 am »
AgentCoop Runic Really_Quite_Nice

Frank West

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« Reply #616 on: March 21, 2017, 12:08:59 am »
Experience the thrill of taking your own Survey

Yavuz Sultan Selim

  • Fave: Heavily Excessive Prekumquatxop
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  • whats up you cem loving fuck
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温尼负鼠

  • Garfield's cosmic love katana.
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  • 19

Mix

  • Like A Cryptid, But More Depressing
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  • oh god who let them in here
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« Reply #619 on: April 02, 2017, 10:44:13 pm »

i swear to god this wasn't planned

chai tea latte

  • all dogs are coal miners,
  • Paid
  • all cats are trans
  • 3,459
  • -458
CTRL+V and post it
« Reply #620 on: April 03, 2017, 01:38:20 am »
Hey, speaking of Bush, have you heard of kush? Recently, I smoked weed with a group of sea turtles and I tell ya, it was amazing. When you smoke weed with sea turtles, they inhale the fumes and internally convert it into a less harmful gas that provides the same effects as smoking weed but also lasts longer and doesn't have a chance it will kill you. It also smells of the sea and fish, which is nice as I won't annoy people if I smoke weed in front of their faces. Weed stinks, you know. Overall, smoking weed with a sea turtle has multiple benefits, I would recommend it and I urge all of my readers to vote for Ronald Reagan in the upcoming election.

温尼负鼠

  • Garfield's cosmic love katana.
  • Paid
  • 656
  • 19
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« Reply #621 on: April 03, 2017, 01:42:53 pm »
Sankta estas por ni la hodiaŭa tago. Modesta estas nia kunveno; la mondo ekstera ne multe scias pri ĝi, kaj la vortoj, kiuj estas parolataj en nia kunveno, ne flugos telegrafe al ĉiuj urboj kaj urbetoj de la mondo; ne kunvenis regnestroj, nek ministroj, por ŝanĝi la politikan karton de la mondo, ne brilas luksaj vestoj kaj multego da imponantaj ordenoj en nia salono, ne bruas pafilegoj ĉirkaŭ la modesta domo, en kiu ni troviĝas; sed tra la aero de nia salono flugas misteraj sonoj, sonoj tre mallaŭtaj, ne aŭdeblaj por la orelo, sed senteblaj por ĉiu animo sentema: ĝi estas la sono de io granda, kio nun naskiĝas. Tra la aero flugas misteraj fantomoj; la okuloj ilin ne vidas, sed la animo ilin sentas; ili estas imagoj de tempo estonta, de tempo tute nova. La fantomoj flugos en la mondon, korpiĝos kaj potenciĝos, kaj niaj filoj kaj nepoj ilin vidos, ilin sentos kaj ĝuos

Yavuz Sultan Selim

  • Fave: Heavily Excessive Prekumquatxop
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  • whats up you cem loving fuck
  • 1,507
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« Reply #622 on: April 03, 2017, 01:59:05 pm »
One other, more unconventional, tactic, Gorka suggests, is to translate into Arabic The Federalist Papers – historic articles promoting the ratification of the US Constitution. "For the cost of one missile, we could probably translate the papers, put it in a leather-bound book and give every Muslim in the world a copy," he says.

chai tea latte

  • all dogs are coal miners,
  • Paid
  • all cats are trans
  • 3,459
  • -458
CTRL+V and post it
« Reply #623 on: April 04, 2017, 04:57:30 am »
I first realized my Porn Addiction when I was 6 years old, but I was powerless to stop it. My addiction stemmed from childhood, around 4, when HBO was normalized to me, and I became an instrument of masturbation. Although I could not coom, I was determined to jack at least three times a day, and successfully did this. At the age of 5 I stole my father’s low-T medication and consumed it monster cockly, inciting puberty within my bowels that spread throughout my whole body.
At the age of 6 I realized the error of my ways - I stumbled upon /r/ NoFap in my search for more reddit porn. When I found the subreddit it changed my life. I realized my life was going down the wrong path, so I stopped jacking. It was hard - I relapsed for 22 days straight at first, but steadily increased my tolerance for not masturbating. I went on a streak of a week - then a month - then three months - until I put my dick down and never picked it back up.
With an absence of masturbation I had to find other ways to act out my sexual desires - and with my extreme confidence I was able to pick up hot 8 year olds. As I was a fully sexually developed 8 year old, I would have sex to completion with them - but it’s not a pedophile thing because, again, I was also 8 years old. While at the time it was a good thing for me, nowadays, I would definitely not interact with 8 year olds in any way, because I am not 8 years old (or in the relative ballpark of 8 years old) any more.
I had a perfect diet - every day for breakfast I ate two Big MacTM hamburgers for caloric intake and protein, then a 12 oz New York Strip steak. For lunch, I went for the natural option, eating a large salad with chicken and Thousand Island dressing, home made by my grandma. When my grandma died (a moment in my life causing no emotional duress) I switched to a store brand. For dinner, I ate raw uncooked pork, wrapped in uncooked salmon (Lox if you're a Jew but I don’t think it’s a Jewish thing in this context as pork is not kosher), wrapped in bacon. I learned the recipe from an obscure show called Epic Meal Time. No one noticed the very obvious semen smell coming out of my lower half, probably because of my small stature. While you may think that is a good thing, it’s actually very bad; to leave an impression of manliness, you must have a manly smell. I believe this was one of my only mistakes entering the office, but it buffered out as time went on.
“So do you like your job?” I said, fucking nailing this conversation stuff, and coming off like a great guy.
“Oh, it’s a bit tiring every once and a while, but I do it well,” she said, looking at me initially, but then looking away. I could sense that she was in some way wary of me, and I needed to break the ice and show that I didn’t care if we had sex or not.
“Yeah, I’m gay,” I confirmed. She laughed.
Ms Dragoness

jack chick

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« Reply #624 on: April 11, 2017, 10:59:29 am »
So this was typed to me today:

Quote
my buddies just made a commercial for johnsonville sausage
and I was the hair metal consultant

Dirk Dammit

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« Reply #625 on: April 12, 2017, 02:54:52 am »
so... i need to learn how to make html emails for my first freelance gig as a web developer.

<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
    <head>
        <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />
        <title>A Simple Responsive HTML Email</title>
        <style type="text/css">
            body {
                margin: 0;
                padding: 0;
                min-width: 100%!important;
                }
            .content {
                width: 100%;
                max-width: 600px;
                }
            .greeting{
                width:100px;
                height:100px;
                background-color:blue;
            }
            @media only screen and (min-device-width: 601px) {
                .content {
                    width: 600px !important;
                    }
            }
        </style>
    </head>
    <body yahoo bgcolor="#f6f8f1">
        <table width="100%" bgcolor="#f6f8f1" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">
            <tr>
                <td>
                    <table class="content" align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0">
                        <tr>
                            <td>
                               <table width="70" align="left" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">
                                    <tr>
                                        <td height="70" style="padding: 0 20px 20px 0;">
                                            <div class="greeting">
                                            </div>
                                        </td>
                                    </tr>
                                </table>
                            </td>
                        </tr>
                    </table>
                </td>
            </tr>
        </table>
    </body>
</html>

Malten

  • savored every drop of that Hot Squirt
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« Reply #626 on: April 14, 2017, 02:06:09 am »

A Meat

  • Vague Warlock
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  • incongruously coupled with a vegetable.
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A Meat

  • Vague Warlock
  • Paid
  • incongruously coupled with a vegetable.
  • 2,572
  • 130
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« Reply #628 on: April 18, 2017, 01:17:54 pm »
Hey, click the link in my previous post, it's about using chocolate as pest control, but unrelated:

chai tea latte

  • all dogs are coal miners,
  • Paid
  • all cats are trans
  • 3,459
  • -458
CTRL+V and post it
« Reply #629 on: April 19, 2017, 01:49:04 am »
People took that serious though that you actually meant...
—because they’re stupid. They don’t have a life. A dog got a red, ugly, hot dog weiner-looking penis. Why would I be sexually aroused by a little bitty penis going in a woman, when I got a big dick? That wouldn’t even turn me on, you know what I’m sayin’? I wouldn’t let a bitch suck my dog’s dick if she tried, ’cause that’s my family member. Bitch, I don’t know where your mouth’s been. She askin’ me why I kiss my dog in the morning. Ain’t no dick been in my dog’s mouth. That’s what I told her, and it got taken out of context when “I’m not bout to sleep in bed with you with the dog.” Well, the dog sleep in the bed with me all the time! He sleep at the foot at the bed or up on my chest, wherever he sleeps. That’s my family member. You can say what you want about my dog, but he’s loyal. My dog cost $90,000.
What kind of dog is it?
It’s a micro exotic bully. I wouldn’t give a damn if a bitch—I wouldn’t let a bitch suck my dog’s dick. You know how expensive? His nut cost 10 grand. People pay me 10 grand just to mail them the semen from my dog. ’​Cause I got the most exotic dog in the game. God blessed me with it.