Is Lobster99's post that Kumquat read at the end the schizophrenic equivalent of "I have a girlfriend in Canada"? I have a hard time following his train of thought, but I think he's trying to say that he's dating a woman who's a shape-shifting reptile that exists in another dimension. For a touch of verisimilitude, he adds that she's afraid of horses, loves seahorses and was in an ultra-banned video where someone kept her naked in a box but then she escaped and killed her captor.