The reading from bodymod.org about the guy cutting his frenulum is one of the hardest to listen to, but also one of my all-time favorites. Everything in there is gold
"The glans (or: glans)"
"Hang on, I cut my dick open and for some reason there was blood underneath! Did I do something wrong? I mean, other than cut my dick open?" "No, no, penises want to bleed, it's just their natural state"
"He said 'wound glued otherwise' in past tense, does that mean this was attempt #2?" "This was attempt #7. First thing I used to glue it with was melted gummy bears, that didn't work, not recommended. Then I used some more blood, turns out that didn't work..."
"Using piss to disinfect the wound is so far his best idea"
"But as I patched the booklet easy to urinate can open." "This is a mad lib at this point"
"After a week, the wound has healed so well that I could resist gently masturbate" "He's just been gently masturbating this whole time?" "Now I can keep my hands off!"
"The operation is now thirty years back. By the way, I'm 32 years old" "Okay well we can circumcise your child or we could get a little bit more creative?"