Episode 137: Please Direct Complaints To This Hole In The Ground

[Lemon]

 with Portaxx, STOG, Bunnybread, Victor Laszlo, and Lemon.

Content for this episode was compiled by Montrith and Cheapskate.

Edited by Lemon.

There's a lot that can enrage a person. And while that's a perfectly reasonable feeling to have, it's best if you have friends to confide in, to share in your frustrations, and to help you grow and become a better person. But, if you don't have that, the internet has plenty of form fields. Just type words into one of those. This week, The F Plus doesn't trust that 2 year old with the crack rocks.

[Mister Smalls]

I'm pretty sure that WatchOutForFatUglyWomenInOrlando was actually Mai Trang Thai Win.

[montrith]

Because I know some of you will not be looking at the docs, I'm just gonna provide a couple of my favorites here that didn't get read.

bidzinskis

who are you/me

This family is supposed to be my in-laws, but now I'm not sure. They are Zenon (a lawyer), Gary, Josh (a lawyer) and Sean, and also Julie (a nurse). Why are they so weird to me; and it seems like my brother I grew up with is not necessarily biologically related to me? Art Wang is SUPPOSED TO BE a doctor in Indiana. The weirdest most scary (ugly) person associated with me is Anna Boekstegan who was my Latin Teacher in Wilmette (and is from Germany.)

Google

will allow anything to be posted

Google allows people to post article on the web that are not true, there is nothing to back up the article and only the two people who wrote the article without evidence where allowed to post and cause physical plus financial problems for the person they personally attacked. We notified google and they informed us to contact a lawyer. Well, it takes money to hire a lawyer. I am sure this web site has caused countless, innocent people much harm. They should have evidence of any article they post before posting it. The newspapers verify their information before printing it, the news verify their information. So what makes google so special. They should be held liable for any untrue article and liable to pay any damages to the person that was accused and innocent.

Lets hear it from the google victims.

[Goose Goose Honk At Me Now]

As someone who's tried the Ex-Lax cake trick*, holy shit this person must have melted an insane amount of laxative into her cake batter. If it's just a standard 6-inch round chocolate cake (one layer) one box won't cut it to give an entire shift's worth of people the runs. You could probably pull off a hospitalization-grade cake if you made a flourless chocolate batter, but why the fuck would you do that?



* Yes, it was petty, and no, it didn't work.

[Muffinator]

Dammit guys, don't grammar nazi if you're wrong. "Have had a lawyer" is Present Perfect, which is the correct tense to use in that context. It refers to either

a) something that began in the past, but continues into the present ("I have lived in San Diego for two years")
b) something that both began and finished in the past, but the results are occurring in the present ("Oh shit, I have spilled the milk!")

I think you're confusing it with past perfect ("I had had a lawyer"). By using Present Perfect, he's saying "I first hired my lawyer in the past, but I still keep him around these days because he's useful."

There's so much terrible shit in there, you don't need to pick on the things that are correct.

[A Meat]

Can we change ballpit's tagline to "another place where angry idiots collect"? At least please tell me this is already a site header.

[Lemon]

As someone who's tried the Ex-Lax cake trick*
[...]
* Yes, it was petty, and no, it didn't work.

To the $10 Secrets thread with you!!!!

[Yossarian]

I was waiting for the complaints from the 1900s website to devolve into Aaron Burr talking shit about Alexander Hamilton.

[🍆]

Weird, I also saw a woman freak out at the sandwich makers for a perceived lack of attention and respect last time I was at Subway. I was far from Orlando though. Maybe this is company policy?

[Mister Smalls]

I think it's because some people are control freaks and it's a terrible idea to let these people watch how their food is made.

[Muffinator]

I somehow missed it the first time, but the person having problems with FAKECOPYIELTS is probably trying to apply for university. IELTS is a test that ESL students have to take (and pass with 6-7.0 or above) if they want to study at an English-language university. I guess they were looking for answers online? On one hand, you can see how a second-language speaker could make a mistake. On the other hand, if they don't know the word 'fake' and they're unsuccessfully trying to cheat their way into college, it's probably for the best.