I miss being on the internet. I miss stupid forum jokes and leet speak, all I have now is a steaming pile of shit consisting of porn, neo-nazism and capitalists trying to scam me off my money. Did I get old? Did I get jaded? Am I unable to feel the immense joy and presentness I once felt upon opening a favorite webpage to see what's new on there? Yes, absolutely. But I contend that my neural circuits have gone FUBAR not out of course but from a decade and a half of attempting in vain to extract joy from an internet that has increasingly become joyless to inhabit. The good people moved on and the bad people didn't. Worst of all, the boring people moved in. What a rotten piece of shit the world is. I am slitting the throat of a neopet every hour on the hour until my demands are met and the CEO of the internet makes a personal apology before pulling the plug.