Episode 208: I Am Only A Mouth Yet Cannot Scream

[chai tea latte]

no, guys, the fleshlight was 'non-discreet' because it sees continuous function

[Really_Quite_Nice]

http://blogs-images.forbes.com/kathleenchaykowski/files/2016/02/oculus-1200x799.jpg

I've just visualized this image with fleshlights instead of VR. This is what Huxley should've warned us about.

[Nikaer Drekin]

"Ah yes, the cinematography in this porn is exquiste. Must be the work of Janusz Kum-insky, or perhaps Wally Fist-her."

[eldritchhat]

This is what Huxley should've warned us about.

Ah, well you obviously haven't read This Ain't Brave New World XXX

[Fatty Bo Batty]

I can't wait until Death Grips makes the theme song for Fleshlight. They'll call it "The Cunny Store."

[DaltonSezHi]

I can't wait until Death Grips makes the theme song for Fleshlight. They'll call it "The Cunny Store."

_{*distant booing*}

EDIT: also if they were going to make a Death Grips themed one I would accept nothing less than a fleshlight modeled exactly after MC Ride's asshole

[Zekka]

Someone I know informed me I somehow appear in this episode.

I thought that was cool until I found out the topic.

Now I'm scared.

[eldritchhat]

Someone I know informed me I somehow appear in this episode.

I thought that was cool until I found out the topic.

Now I'm scared.

Don't worry, according to DendiFucker69, the Zekka fleshlight works quite well.

[Zekka]

Someone I know informed me I somehow appear in this episode.

I thought that was cool until I found out the topic.

Now I'm scared.

Don't worry, according to DendiFucker69, the Zekka fleshlight works quite well.

EDIT4: Abort.

NSFW content. Click to show.

EDIT2: I just received confirmation I'm being played. None of this ever happened. Do not open NSFW tag under penalty of confidential law.

NSFW content. Click to show.

I think you have accidentally tripped one of my countersigns and if you did that intentionally then you know exactly what I am referring to.



If not you are a devious, devious manipulator.

EDIT: Someone just cheevoed me. Either I've figured you out or you're figuring me out as we speak.

EDIT3: This post doesn't exist. It's a bug in SMF.

EDIT5: Oh! Shit, I'll have to revive that thread. Sorry about that. Next thing to happen ate up last week for me, still not finished. Worst comes to worst I can rush it.

[montrith]

I expected a lot of things from the fleshlight forum, but the massive amounts of NO HOMO were not among those things.

[McMillan and Waifu]

I expected a lot of things from the fleshlight forum, but the massive amounts of NO HOMO were not among those things.

Neither did I, but there's kind of a logic there. You get a forum full of dudes who are jackin it all day, who have all purchased advanced jackin it technology, and who then spend a whole bunch of time talking about new jackin it tips and tricks, and you can kind of see the progression to  "it'd be cool to jack it near or around cool dudes, like my jackin it forum buddies, BUT NOT IN A GAY WAY CAUSE WE'RE JACKIN IT WITH OUR FUTURISTIC LADY PART SIMULATIONS"

e: the description at the end of "a woman sultrily holding a replica of her vulva" sounds like a real postmodern sex nightmare

[xX_sp00ks_Xx]

What's amazing is it's not even cherry-picking. 90% of the forum is stupid, zero reply "Which FL should I buy?" threads, but of the other 10% that's actual community talk, there's a lot of people who ask for videos of dudes using their FLs cause uuuh you know, it's for uuh... educational purposes, man!

A thread I cut from the doc included a guy who went as far as naming his hydraulic dildos after Hermione Granger and Miley Cyrus because he wanted to make sure those phallic objects were of the female gender. And, I mean, technically,  butt stuff =/= gay stuff, but man, that was just the tip of the iceberg. Some of those threads contain pictures you cannot unsee .

On a less gross note, I'm disappointed that in the time between the compilation of the document and its reading, the Fleshlight site phased out the best part of that Anikka Albrite top banner. Remember the Dildocopter? Meet the (NSFW) Fleshdrone.

[Yavuz]

On a less gross note, I'm disappointed that in the time between the compilation of the document and its reading, the Fleshlight site phased out the best part of that Anikka Albrite top banner. Remember the Dildocopter? Meet the (NSFW) Fleshdrone.

For people who have a "getting hit by helicopter blades" fetish.

[McMillan and Waifu]

On a less gross note, I'm disappointed that in the time between the compilation of the document and its reading, the Fleshlight site phased out the best part of that Anikka Albrite top banner. Remember the Dildocopter? Meet the (NSFW) Fleshdrone.

I appear to have burned my "postmodern sex nightmare" line too soon

[A Meat]

If you want a postmodern sex nightmare, imagine the model sensuously shoving a dildo into the replica of her vulva.