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Topic: Who Has The Most Broken Phone?  (Read 4918 times)

Ganymede

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone?
Show us your beaten and cracked, your battered and shattered.

Detailed descriptions are acceptable in lieu of a photo.
Lemon

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #1
my phone is not cracked at all

i have to spend 20 minutes every evening operating a complex configuration of a spray can, electric shaver, and roll of quarters in order to get the charging cable to stay in the proper position to charge the phone.

Lemon

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #2
I have an HTC 710. Physically it's in fine condition, but it has this fun feature where disk space vanishes every time you use the thing. 8Gb of space, but I can't install any apps because it says there's no room. Also I can't update any of the existing apps for the same reason, so the two browsers I have installed (chrome and Firefox) launch with giant warning screens that they are old and I shouldn't use them anymore. This also means there's no temp space for the phone to use, so every keypress gets a quarter second delay.

Also if you plug headphones in, you have to keep your thumb on the plug to prevent it from broadcasting your podcast to the entire bus.
Ganymede

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #3
I had to buy a new phone last month because my Samsung galaxy s3 reached a point where it would randomly restart itself after a few minutes of being on. It also took it over a minute to restart when it managed to do so successfully but it usually would stay stuck on the splash screen until I hard reset it. It usually took multiple times before a successful attempt.

Achilles' Heelies

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #4
Just drop your phone in the toilet, then your parents will buy you a new one. But only if you really need it!!!
Stone doggo effigy

STOG

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #5
I don't have any sort of protection on my phone and somehow it doesn't have a blemish on it. #beinghetcisrocks
Ganymede Fanzay

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #6
I had a sweet Razr M with a metal bezel that I once actually dropped and kicked across the sidewalk and the screen was fine.  A month after I got my Moto X it fell onto some asphalt and cracked a good quarter of the screen, plus the Moto X has no microSD slot.

Also I have a custom ROM on it, because I need a god damn adblocker to actually be able to use my phone, but it keeps trying to download an official update.  The official update will try to install, but the install fails because, of course, the custom ROM doesn't match the ROM it's expecting. This locks my phone in a boot loop until I do a factory reset in the recovery menu.  Instead, I have gotten used to, every day, telling it to remind me tomorrow about the update.

Also 5-inch phones are too god damn big to use right, fuck this stupid phablet standard and/or my baby hands

Mango Tango

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #7
My phone works just fine, goodbye!!!!!
Fanzay

Lemon

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #8
Also I have a custom ROM on it, because I need a god damn adblocker to actually be able to use my phone.EYE OF ZA, June 02, 2016, 08:33:13 pm

Just FYI, if you install Firefox for Android, you get full access to the Firefox addon library.

A Whirring Bone-White Gleech

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #9
I have an HTC 710. Physically it's in fine condition, but it has this fun feature where disk space vanishes every time you use the thing. 8Gb of space, but I can't install any apps because it says there's no room. Also I can't update any of the existing apps for the same reason, so the two browsers I have installed (chrome and Firefox) launch with giant warning screens that they are old and I shouldn't use them anymore. This also means there's no temp space for the phone to use, so every keypress gets a quarter second delay.

Also if you plug headphones in, you have to keep your thumb on the plug to prevent it from broadcasting your podcast to the entire bus.
Lemon, June 02, 2016, 05:10:35 pm

I had an HTC 4G Evo before my current phone.  My phone stopped letting me install apps, even after I cleaned off data.  I came to discover that Android 2.1 used two separate partitions, one for system data (which included apps) and one for user data.  And the system partition was tiny.  Then, I discovered that there was a Nascar app installed.  It was something like 40 Mb, which was ten percent of the system partition.  And it was marked as a system component, so I couldn't remove it.

Fuck HTC, Google can't take power back from device makers and carriers fast enough.
Ganymede

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #10
My galaxy S3 mini is physically fine, although the edges are a little chipped. Actually, it's probably not physically fine because no smartphone should work this badly. Whether it takes two or five minutes to turn on is completely unpredictable, although I have a hunch it might be to do with the phase of the moon. The browser in particular hangs it up, and usually crashes. I'd rather just google stuff on my old nokia 6300, honestly. Sometimes, the lock button will decide not to work, which is inconvenient, especially since it's the on/off button as well, and sometimes the keyboard stops working due to ???? and I have to restart it. I've had to pull out the battery to turn it off on occasion, which probably just fucks it up further. The fact that it likes to forget how to read SD cards occasionally is somehow the least frustrating feature.
Lemon

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #11
To answer the question, decidedly not me.  However, I sure did break it in an exciting way recently.
I have an iPhone 6+, but I run Linux at home.  I recently figured out how to mount my phone and actually see inside of it with the intention of putting music on it without iTunes.  The new and horrible Apple Music app threw a wrench into this, but at least I got to poke around.  I saw there were a lot of files that seemed really big.  Anything over a gb, I was like "there's no reason this should be so big!" so I just rm -rf'd that shit, touch'ed the files back into place, and hell no I didn't back anything up first, why bother?  Worst case, I could restore the factory defaults.
I, uh, definitely didn't delete anything resembling my contact list, but all of my contacts are gone now.  I can derive them from my call and text history, though, so no real harm done.  I didn't even jailbreak the thing, so I assume my phone immediately and aggressively restored any infrastructure it was missing.  At least I cleaned up anything that was taking up way too much space.  Maybe next time I'll delete even more stuff!

Shigan

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #12
Those wallet cases for phones are pretty useful. I've dropped my phone multiple times while running, etc., over the past three years, and, at least on the outside, it's still unharmed thanks to the case. The case will still allow you to use the phone freely, and you can fit a credit card or some cash in there too. 

SatanInAZootSuit

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Who Has The Most Broken Phone? #13
This most recent Christmas, my aunt and uncle got me a cheapo smartphone who was designed to maximize on power. It was exciting for me since it was my first, so I had it with me at all times and I was pretty careful with it too. But, a few weeks later I was showing my younger cousins that running before you jump makes you jump further. At the time, I was wearing my favorite hoodie (it has space on it!), which is the pullover kind with the single pocket. Like most of that style of hoodie I've had, the stitching of the pocket had torn slightly on one side, making it easy for things to slip out. Just before I did the jump, I slid my phone into this pocket and took the leap. As I jumped, the phone came out of my pocket. It wasn't necessarily hard enough to break it on its own, but, because of the type of jump I was doing, my leg came up and slammed into the phone like a baseball bat, sending the phone flying six or seven feet onto the hard tarmac path we were walking on, instantly shattering the screen. Since the only camera I have is on my phone, I can't send a direct picture of the damage, but be assured that it's quite annoying. It's not as bad as the time I slammed my laptop screen shut on my headphones, but that was when I was young and angry.
Ganymede