How come all the fruit and veg that grows here is awful?
There's parts of the world where they grow mangoes and pineapples and shit half the year, and I'm stuck in a country where we just get fucking apples. No-one in the entire universe has or will ever say "I guess peaches are great but you know what I really fancy right now? A quince." 8000 different types of bland and slightly bitter root vegetable will grow in fucking anything but there's roughly three square feet of ground in the country that can support a melon.
Even the good stuff we get here is ridiculously difficult to produce. You can grow raspberries but you need to do it in a high security facility (but still with plenty of fresh air and sunlight and water and everything) lest the birds eat them all long before they're ever fit for human consumption, and also the stems are fucking weaponised and you get about three berries per plant per year. Strawberries, too, but if the wind blows the wrong direction at any point during their growth they'll taste like fuck all and you'll still be charged a billion pounds a punnet.
I'd love to eat more greens and less carbs, mother but unfortunately tesco has a surplus of courgettes and fuck all else. You should've given birth in a country that wasn't fucking miserable. They did some awful things in the process but I can't 100% blame my ancestors for wanting to plunder the rest of the world for it's produce.