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Topic: Episode 140: Is There Anyone With A Life On Mars?  (Read 30885 times)

Lemon

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with Boots Raingear, Portaxx, John Toast, Jack Chick, Adam Bozarth, and Lemon.
Content for this episode was compiled by Montrith.
Edited by Lemon.
-=ATTENTION EARTH PLEASE STAND BY FOR THE FOLLOWING URGENT MESSAGE Mars needs poets. Also copywriters. Because maybe if we draft better letters than this one we can hopefully get a couple people with some useful skills END TRANSMISSION=- This week, The F Plus' wives won't mind if we leave forever.

Fatty Bo Batty

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Holy hell, I was getting just as angry as the readers in this episode. So much terrible.

Cat Planet

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I'm all for these people being as far as possible from our planet.

Blandest

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So is this a scam? I can't decide if these people seriously think that they are going to get to Mars or if they just want a licence to print money from idiots that think that a crowd funded Mars mission is going to do anything.

Isfahan

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I think this marks a new record for Number of "Jesus Christ"s Uttered by Lemon in a Single Episode.
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Neal

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So is this a scam? I can't decide if these people seriously think that they are going to get to Mars or if they just want a licence to print money from idiots that think that a crowd funded Mars mission is going to do anything.
Blandest, June 20, 2014, 06:42:46 pm

From what I understand, most of the people featured in the second half of the episode weren't actually part of the IndieGoGo campaign, but rather were fans who wanted to be selected to be sent on the mission. They wouldn't be the ones profiting.

Mister Smalls

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This episode motivated me to create the world's fastest-working drinking game.  I call it "The First Martian".  The rules are simple: take any normal everyday noun or phrase, such as "English professor", "bandicoot", or "expressionist noir film", add the phrase "I want to be/make/do the first Martian" before it, and drink an amount proportional to how much the resulting sentence makes you want to punch yourself in the mouth.

🍆

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Adam's Droopy Dog voice is second only to Adam's Huell Howser voice in the pantheon of greats.

Fanzay

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Formally requesting Adam to use more of the George Takei-voice. That shit was sickeningly funny to me.
count_actuala

Ansemaru

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I think I was muttering "push them out the airlock" through the entire episode.

Of course, with a budget of 400k, they're never going to get far enough for that to be an option. I nominate shoving them into the ocean instead.

montrith

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If you haven't already, everyone on this forum needs to view the doc and click on Li's profile. His video introduction is something to be marveled at.

scratchohey

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The Jamestown colony was a terrible disaster in its first years. Almost all of the settlers were entrepreneurs, or otherwise completely unsuited to survival situations. They settled down in a swamp infested with malarial mosquitoes, far too late to plant crops (not that they brought anyone who knew how to farm), and dozens of them were dead within a few months. It was only after three supply shipments that someone thought to send for commoners laborers, and their involvement (along with that of the Indians who took pity on them) was probably all that kept the colony from ending up like Roanoke and Popham.

Unfortunately, the SEOs and acupuncturists aboard Mars One probably wouldn't be able to cry to Earth for help, nor would there be any greyskinned savages to teach them how to food.
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« Last Edit: June 23, 2014, 03:38:35 pm by scratchohey »

Bobalay

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Not to mention lobsters were literally crawling on the shores and beaches, but the colonists refused to eat them because "ew yucky."  FOOD WAS DRAGGING ITSELF OUT OF THE OCEAN TO THEM AND THEY STILL STARVED

count_actuala

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The Jamestown colony was a terrible disaster in its first years. Almost all of the settlers were entrepreneurs, or otherwise completely unsuited to survival situations. They settled down in a swamp infested with malarial mosquitoes, far too late to plant crops (not that they brought anyone who knew how to farm), and dozens of them were dead within a few months. It was only after three supply shipments that someone thought to send for commoners laborers, and their involvement (along with that of the Indians who took pity on them) was probably all that kept the colony from ending up like Roanoke and Popham.

Unfortunately, the SEOs and acupuncturists aboard Mars One probably wouldn't be able to cry to Earth for help, nor would there be any greyskinned savages to teach them how to food.
scratchohey, June 23, 2014, 03:36:30 pm
I think by 'unfortunately,' you mean 'by the grace of God.'

Adam Bozarth

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If anyone is interested in hearing someone who got to the first round of the selection process to go to Mars talk about the program, Penn Jilette did an episode of his podcast talking to one such person. Penn is very nice to her, but at the same time, you can tell the hosts think it's ridiculous. Mainly mentioning things like having to eat blended shit for 7 months, living in a space the size of a station wagon while traveling, and the fact that they are leaving a spouse behind on earth.

Worth a listen to hear about Mars One in the words of someone more qualified than the rest, but still relatively unqualified. I believe their guest said her biggest qualification was being a den leader for Girl Guides. More qualified than me, but I'd rather stay on earth and live an extra few decades.

I'm still boggled by these designers and hobbyists who think they have what it takes. I studied art and print because I wanted a cushy, metropolitan lifestyle. If I thought I needed the skills to survive on my own, I don't think I'd even own a computer. I want to attribute it to naïveté, because I cannot believe everyone is so arrogant that they think they can be astronauts just by winning a raffle contest.