Episode 121: A Not At All Brief History Of Dozerfleet

[count_actuala]

Now if you excuse me I have to continue my "Adventures in Odyssey" R-18 fanfic about divorce and second marriages. Because Eugene should have married Connie not that whore Katrina.

I'm working on a gritty retelling of Super Book myself.

[montrith]

You guys made me curious, so I check Bibleman out on Wikipedia.

Josh Carpenter. The second Bibleman after Miles retires. He never understood the Bible until his darkest day (when his parents were arguing)

Coats. Miles Peterson's best friend who is an African-American. He first appeared dressed up as a security guard before switching to a rapper-like outfit.

Madam Glitz A self-centered woman in Back to School. She captured Miles Peterson (Bibleman) because she wanted the fame Bibleman had. However, Bibleman tells her that it is the Word of God that everyone desires and needs to hear. She was placed inside a TV set by God.

Super Pro Gamemaster 3 This robotic leader of the Evildoers Club, played by Eric Pasto-Crosby, was Super Pro Gamemaster 2's successor. He has powers similar to his predecessor and developed the video game "Big Bad Bully."

The videos and live show have been well received by children of evangelical parents.[citation needed]

We feel for you, Riley.

[A Meat]

I honestly felt sorry for this guy until the part about his stalky behaviour.

He doesn't seem to understand that his life is just his, and isn't interesting to other people.
It's seriously as if he thinks he's in the Truman Show.


Anyhow, great episode, and you guy's shouldn't have edited it down to be this short, I could listen to much more of this.

[Cheapskate]

Dolphinformia soon came to an end in the summer of 2002, when Emily's mother advised the founder that Emily was dealing with some issues that were very serious. The mother didn't want the Dozerfleet founder ending up in harm's way, and encouraged him to break up with Emily for his own safety. Compliance was reluctant, but it happened. Only about one or two more issues of the newsletter were issued, before it was finally discontinued entirely.

( ' ._.)

Fortunately, he seems to have handled it well.

Emily goes bust

It happened one day in July. The 19th, to be exact. The Dozerfleet founder wanted to touch base with her, since it had been a while (since the prom) that they'd been up to much together. Even then, she mostly just used him as a taxi and then spent the evening with other friends and ignored him.

What he got when he called was something else entirely. Her mom, Patti, claimed she was "really into gangsters," and that the Dozerfleet founder should "stay away from her," for his "own safety."

This led to the eventual breakup, which he was not happy about at all. He was one of the only positive influences in her life, yet he was the one being told to leave it. He knew things would not end well in the Kincare family.

On the plus side, it meant getting to begin college life with a clean slate. Nobody at LCC had to know anything about how patient the Dozerfleet founder had to be with all the scandals and instability at SML. What his eyes had seen, nobody needed to hear it. He could be as open or mysterious about the past as desired, with nobody else needing to be any the wiser.

Dolphinformia discontinued

On July 24th of 2002, the last issue of Dolphinformia rolled out of the assembly line. This issue was different from the others. Unlike previous issues, which were romantically-inclined and aimed at Emily only, this one was more platonic, and addressed the whole Kincare family. A lack of response made it very clear that Emily had only marginal respect for the Dozerfleet founder, whereas Patti had no respect at all in spite the good things he'd done. A family of losers was destined to be losers, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

[Acierocolotl]

Emily goes bust

Thank you for this.

There was ample evidence he was a really awful person in his own way, clinging to conservative religious beliefs and the baggage that comes with it--that he had little idea about how sex worked and was desperately in love with his own (perceived) achievements, and yet I kind of maintained a soft spot in my heart for him, as gormless but almost loveable.

That quote knocked reason into my thick skull.  I was in danger of being almost as oblivious as he is.

[Odd]

Dolphinformia discontinued

On July 24th of 2002, the last issue of Dolphinformia rolled out of the assembly line. This issue was different from the others. Unlike previous issues, which were romantically-inclined and aimed at Emily only, this one was more platonic, and addressed the whole Kincare family. A lack of response made it very clear that Emily had only marginal respect for the Dozerfleet founder, whereas Patti had no respect at all in spite the good things he'd done. A family of losers was destined to be losers, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

Truly they had no empathy for him.

Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, “Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says, “But doctor… I am Pagliacci.” Doctor responds, "I'M A BIG FAN OF YOUR WORK! DO YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME JOKES I THINK YOU CAN USE? CAN I HAVE SOME TICKETS FOR YOUR SHOW?"

[Goose Goose Honk At Me Now]

I looked up Evil Hair Maiden, because apparently I never fucking learn. From what I can tell, she "ruined" his summer because she got badly creeped out by him to the point where she called the cops and his school advised him to get counseling. To this day he still writes her into his shit as attention-seeking villains who are somehow aligned with militant gay--oh, excuse me, "Crooked Rainbow"--terrorists.

"Crooked Rainbow" is its own jolly circus of fun. Because apparently "straight" is the right term for heterosexualls for reasons, and "gay" is an incorrect term because all those filthy homoseckshuls are REALLY unhappy, therefore "crooked" is what people with same-sex attractions should be called. And damned if he doesn't strut around using that term as often as goddamn possible.

My theory is that Evil Hair Maiden heard him ranting about queers and Muslims and/or read his writing, and feared he might shoot up or burn down the school. I do not blame her one bit and I bet her hair looks great.

[Cheapskate]

Emily goes bust

Thank you for this.

There was ample evidence he was a really awful person in his own way, clinging to conservative religious beliefs and the baggage that comes with it--that he had little idea about how sex worked and was desperately in love with his own (perceived) achievements, and yet I kind of maintained a soft spot in my heart for him, as gormless but almost loveable.

That quote knocked reason into my thick skull.  I was in danger of being almost as oblivious as he is.

I'm not sure I can call Dozerfleet an awful person because his thought processes aren't like that of a person at all. For instance, it seems that at one point in his life, someone told him that abortion was wrong. That leads to this:

I believe anything unnatural that kills a zygote after it is formed is murder, even if it doesn't get implanted in the wall of the uterus. I do not feel that about those contraceptives which ensure that the zygote never forms. Those, at the very worst, are just cowardice, but that depends on the circumstances of the sex partners.

Even if the mother were endangered by complications, it is her duty like a pelican's to be willing to rip her own chest apart and die to protect her children. A woman unwilling to sacrifice herself for her infant children is a nature-derelict.

That kid… is inhuman.

[AlbieQuirky]

"Evil Hair Maiden" was a classmate he clearly had a thing for, and so he went to get his hair cut by her at her job, until finally her coworkers did her a solid and warned her he was coming so she could skip out. Then she clearly grew the ovaries to speak to someone at the school about his bullshit.

I sort of imagine the hair-cutting with him being all Vincent D'Onofrio in Platoon and grunting unnervingly from under the salon cape.

[EYE OF ZA]

In case you feel any remaining bit of sympathy for him, there's this, about the Evil Hair Maiden.

This marked the second completed work in the Dozerfleet collection that [the Evil Hair Maiden] inspired somehow. The other two were the Every Ape songs "Slaughterized" and "Die Die Die!!!," with the latter song specially re-tooled to be a "take that" against her.

Won't be / the next victim / for you! /
I'd prefer / to think that / I can / run you through! /

So what / you hate me? / No more Real Nice Guy! /
Baby / die die die!!! /

(Die die!!!)

Dragged me / deep into the / mud enough! /
Now I'll / make my comeback / and I'll / strut my stuff! /

Time for payback, / gonna / make you cry! /
Then you'll / die die die!!! /

The one silver lining is that he's so busy chronicling his life that there's no way he has time to wear anyone as a skin suit.

eta: His fictional band is "Every Ape And His Brother" which is a pretty good indie rock band name.

This is a synopsis for another parody song he made:

This song was written first in early 2006 because of the ease of switching the word "trigger" with "Tigger" in the chorus.

Instead of a song about cheating, despair, guilt, and suicide; the parody is about two psychopaths, a man and a woman, who invade the Hundred-Acre Wood, and systematically murder Winnie-the-Pooh and all of the Pooh characters that were created by AA Milne.

They find that somehow, because Gopher was the idea of Walt Disney rather than AA Milne, that Gopher is immortal and invincible. They brutally massacre everything except for Gopher, since their bullets simply go around him rather than piercing him. He laughs at them and taunts them, hopping around like a crack-high Bugs Bunny. In the end, they reside in a mental institution, laughing about how they killed almost everyone.

[Lemon]

On the subject of Every Ape, one of the things that got cut out of the recording (due to several reasons) is his parody of Rick Springfield's Jesse's Girl.

Except his version has a slightly different theme. Rather than the jealous musings of an idealized girlfriend, his song Sandy Twirled, is a celebration of human beings losing their lives and homes. Reasoning being that the East Coast is liberal, so therefore they deserve to have God smite them.

And then they / got to witness / Sandy twirl! /
Hope they liked / watching / Sandy twirl! /
It hardly gets / more divine / judgment / than that! /

In summary, Cheapskate - you have quite a lot of work to do if you want me to get on board with your "I'm not sure I can call him an awful person" ponderance.

[advancedclass]

On the subject of Every Ape, one of the things that got cut out of the recording (due to several reasons) is his parody of Rick Springfield's Jesse's Girl.

Was one of the reasons the difficulty in editing out the sound of Ridiculists vomiting in disgust? That's some sociopath-level stuff there.

[Acierocolotl]

I'm not sure I can call Dozerfleet an awful person because his thought processes aren't like that of a person at all.

I can, and I will.  There is nothing distinguishing his thoughts from that of any hard right christian conservative.  Point for point, you'll not find a single deviation from protestant-conservative thought.  I haven't read any of his website beyond skimming through the submissions and the actual reading, and I'm not a betting man normally, but I would bet on this.

[Runic]

The scary part about this is that ten years ago, there was about an even chance I could have broken this way. Okay, maybe not that high of a chance, but having the 'spergers I get a real "there but for the grace of God" vibe from this kind of thing. Chris-Chan too. If people like me don't have the support we need and don't make the effort to reach beyond ourselves and really make an effort to understand other people, this is the sort of thing that results. You can retreat into your own little world, and you can see why that prospect is equal parts comforting and terrifying.

It's comforting because it's easier to deal with the version of the world that exists in your own head and that runs according to your rules, Ulillillia style, than it is to deal with the actual world outside of you that has other people with their own thoughts and motivations that you are not neurologically equipped to really properly understand. It's terrifying because if you do that, if you go down the rabbit hole you can loose all perspective and become this.

I guess this is why it pisses me off so much to see all the "Aspie Posers" that have sprung up on the internet over the past decade or so. (Just around the time I was becoming active on the internet, fuck. Had I gravitated towards asperger's forums instead of PoE heaven only knows what strange paths my life could have taken.) You haven't done an episode on those guys, but you should. These are folks, and I'm sure you're all familiar with them, who probably don't have the 'spergers, but want to act like they do because that gives them an excuse to be horrible nerds who don't have to actually learn appropriate social skills. There's probably some overlap with Tumblr Social Justice types to. I guaren-fucking-tee you there is someone out there who has written a lengthy list about Neurotypical Privilege out there and deserves to be punched in the face for it.

Sorry for turning this into my Tumblr or whatever, but I think about these things, you know? And I've got it way better than most. To some extent I think maybe we should pity this guy. Yeah, he's terrible, but it's not entirely his fault. There but for the grace of God go I.

[Goose Goose Honk At Me Now]

Yeah, he's terrible, but it's not entirely his fault.

Even if he has the 'spergers, that doesn't exempt him from being capable of necessary soul-searching, or at least some reflection on how to use the urge to categorize things to a productive end.

Ulillillia comes across as charming (at least to me) because he's open and honest about the fact that the way the world works and the way his brain works are so different. He's not resentful or egotistical (yes, his pages are self-centered, but not in such a way that they radiate entitlement or scorn for others). He's not insistent that everyone pay attention to him all the time. He's just documenting how the world looks through the Uli-lens, without anger or vanity. He's clearly aiming for some sort of genuine self-awareness, and that just happens to take the form of webpages and a unique cataloguing system.

I don't know what kind of support Uli has gotten for his brain weirdness, but even without support people with strange brains and issues can use the urge to document as a way to acknowledge their problems rather than amplify them. Over on the comments for this episode someone compared Dozerfleet to Henry Darger. Darger's work may be dense and bizarre, but he recognized that being denied a happy childhood had a huge impact on him. There are at least glimmers of understanding that his experiences with abuse were not unique--that he had real empathy for the suffering of others.

Personally, I think it's absolutely Dozerfleet's fault that he's so horrible. Not because he may or may not be a sperg, but because he's taken his inability to understand the world and turned it into "everyone owes me personally something very specific and when I don't get it they'll all be really sorry". And he never stops once to question why he deserves that kind of accommodation.

tl;dr I hate him and if I had balls I'd email him pictures of them