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Topic: Poetry SLAM!  (Read 21142 times)

I Fucking Love Amine

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Poetry SLAM!
« Last Edit: February 12, 2015, 11:33:28 pm by I Fucking Love Amine »

Runic

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Poetry SLAM! #1
After the Red-light Ponyville thread, I felt something welling up inside me that could only be expressed in vomit.

Emperor Jack Chick

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I FUCKING LOVE SLAM!
I dunno much about poetry

BUT I SURE AS SHIT KNOW ABOUT SLAM!!!

Naturally everyone should start with Epicardiectomy's legendary performance at Mountains of Death 2010, including the macarena pit, and LET ME SEE SOME HEMMERS:

But Jack Chick, you say, I have no complicated song titles in this video. WHAT DO I DO? Don't worry brah. I gotcha covered.

Vulvectomy weighs in with their classic Gangrenous Testicular Deformity (it's their live opener too!)
Kraanium with Chowing on Rectal Discharge
(note the use of awful samples!)
Extirpating the Infected does not appear to have Gorgeous Cangrenation of Amputated Heads on youtube, so we're substituting something a little simpler for DAT PIT RIFFAGE
I dunno what a wormhole inversion is but it sounds pretty brutal
(abominable putridity's new sickness!!!)
Visceral Disgorge will make you do weird karate chop motions with your hand
(this is a good thing)
I'd link some cerebral bore but they added lyrics in. That clearly takes away from the slamming sickness so fuck that
Is there anyone in the world that doesn't like Vomit Remnants? I posit that no, no there isn't.

This here is what we call "terrible"

So yeah you should listen to guttural secrete instead!
This whole album is well worth your time. I recomment Coprophelic Asphyxia as a standout track.

Guys post your favorite SLAMZ!! Lets get a really slow and uninteresting pit started up in this shit!!

-Jack

fruit power

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I FUCKING LOVE SLAM!


Naturally everyone should start with Epicardiectomy's legendary performance at Mountains of Death 2010, including the macarena pit, and LET ME SEE SOME HEMMERS:

jack-chick, February 08, 2013, 03:05:28 am

What the hell did I just watch?

Got to say that pit transported me right back to every confusing night out in Austin in the 90s.

Emperor Jack Chick

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Poetry SLAM! #4
Hey Fruit!

That's something called "wigger slam". It generally comes from eastern europe or texas. Thanks!

-Jack

Isfahan

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Poetry SLAM! #5
Well, as we all know, eastern Europe is the Texas of Europe, so that makes sense.

Emperor Jack Chick

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I FUCKING LOVE SLAM!

This here is what we call "terrible"

jack-chick, February 08, 2013, 03:05:28 am

i like the part where he makes the bear noises

So Jack, not being a metal aficionado what makes the hit new single, "Blistering Corpse Abortion-Drowning in Phemaldehyde," lacking in quality when compared to "Vulvectomy - Gangrenous Testicular Deformity"?
objectivelyhorribleperson, February 09, 2013, 02:54:49 pm

Hey there, so basically the blistering corpse abortion track is extremely muddy. They're trying to do some sort of progressive tech-slam thing (where they play shit that's way too technical for slam), but didn't really shell out enough in production dollars, so instead of being able to hear what they're doing, it just sounds like a noisy mess. Vulvectomy, on the other hand, discards all concept of technicality in favor of sick brutal riffs that make you want to do karate chop hand motions and wear workout pants. If blistering corpse abortion would have just simplified their riffage and invested in a good quality trashcan for the snaredrum, they could get the sickness slamming appropriately.

Thanks!

-Jack

Isfahan

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I FUCKING LOVE SLAM!
Hey there, so basically the blistering corpse abortion track is extremely muddy. They're trying to do some sort of progressive tech-slam thing (where they play shit that's way too technical for slam), but didn't really shell out enough in production dollars, so instead of being able to hear what they're doing, it just sounds like a noisy mess. Vulvectomy, on the other hand, discards all concept of technicality in favor of sick brutal riffs that make you want to do karate chop hand motions and wear workout pants. If blistering corpse abortion would have just simplified their riffage and invested in a good quality trashcan for the snaredrum, they could get the sickness slamming appropriately.jack-chick, February 09, 2013, 08:38:33 pm

man pitchfork's never gonna pick you up writing unpretentious reviews like these

"Vulvectomy, on the other hand, discards all concept of technicality in favor of sick brutal riffs that make you want to do karate chop hand motions and wear workout pants."

That's probably the best endorsement of a musical style I've read in years.

Acierocolotl

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Poetry SLAM! #8
His name is not Brent.  It is anti-Jack.

fruit power

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Poetry SLAM! #9
I don't understand half of what Jack Chick posts because I enter a trance state while reading where all I can hear is this song.