Episode 101: I Hope My Kids Never Evolve

[Lemon]

NOTE: For those of you waiting for the 100th Episode Spectacular, please be aware that this is episode #101.

Many people would agree that monkeys, by and large, are pretty cute. This is why they make popular zoo attractions, popular designs on t-shirts, and popular themes in nursery gear. Because we like looking at monkeys, they're a lot like us. But not so much like us that we'd consider adopting one and raising it like it was our own child. Well... most of us wouldn't do that.

[Runic]

I've got to say, I love that Thanks Montrith is now a tag.  She has certainly earned it.  She is like some sort of F+ paratrooper, diving into the mire of the internet, clubbing it over the head with the butt of her giant Finish knife, and dragging it back to the rest of us before collapsing triumphantly as the rest of us gape at her latest trophy.

[Delcat]

Oh dear.

I like that the same hunter-gatherer comparison was made back on my old snark community in the good days--there's just something about the act of finding material that fits exactly to that primal level, from grappling with the document to the cheers of the tribe when you drag home fresh meat.

[montrith]

Hey Lemon? Remember that list you have about "Accents the Fplus Can't Do"?

Might as well add Italian there.

[Lemon]

What are you talking about? STOG has a two accents!

[Isfahan]

I can't for the life of me imagine why the readers decided to use southern accents so much in this episode!

[scratchohey]

This is a weird coincidence! I was just reading about Travis the killer chimpanzee and wondering why anyone would possibly want to own a ferocious, intelligent beast!

Fake edit: Holy hell, how can so many people fall for this scam?

[fruit power]

I can't for the life of me imagine why the readers decided to use southern accents so much in this episode!

ha! Yes, it is a mystery. I grew up in a neighborhood (in the South) without restrictions, which meant all sorts of crazies had all sorts of crazy pets. Usually it was big cats. For a good deal of my childhood there was a lion in a cage in the backyard four houses down. He roared the most in the morning. That was my favorite of the crazy pets. We had all kinds of rumors we spread about him escaping and eating things like newborn puppies.

But back on topic, I just keep thinking about the IKEA monkey and his sweet little coat and how much those people probably loved him, bless their crazy hearts.

[Lady Frenzy]

If you're curious about what the aftermath of a pet monkey attack looks like, here you go!

http://www.petmonkeyinfo.org/testimonials.htm (mildly graphic pictures)

[chai tea latte]

I can't for the life of me imagine why the readers decided to use southern accents so much in this episode!

ha! Yes, it is a mystery. I grew up in a neighborhood (in the South) without restrictions, which meant all sorts of crazies had all sorts of crazy pets. Usually it was big cats. For a good deal of my childhood there was a lion in a cage in the backyard four houses down. He roared the most in the morning. That was my favorite of the crazy pets. We had all kinds of rumors we spread about him escaping and eating things like newborn puppies.

But back on topic, I just keep thinking about the IKEA monkey and his sweet little coat and how much those people probably loved him, bless their crazy hearts.

I didn't grow up in north america, but in the second house our family lived in we were just a few houses down from one with a guard tiger.

Y'know, like a guard dog. But a tiger. Poor thing was just chained (with a long chain, to be fair, so it had at least some roaming space) to a tree in the front yard, and it looked at you if you got too close to the gate. Our family used to throw it food sometimes.

[OrganGrinder]

That's pretty metal. Did it actually ever have to do its guard duty?

[KingKalamari]

Well, if I ever need to make a quick buck I now know of a group of people who will throw their money at you if you say "monkey"...

Also have to say that Backalley Dave is my new favorite hypothetical character.

[Isfahan]

Also have to say that Backalley Dave is my new favorite hypothetical character.

I was stationed with Back-Alley Dave. Dude always had walking-around money.

[count_actuala]

I just learned that I cannot listen to this episode while sober. Unless it's that lady on whom God had tured his back. For some reason, the suffering of the people is hilarious.

[Alpha Starsquatch]

"I'll take care of yer monkey problem for yeh. Fifty bucks, upfront."