. Come into your home, eat your food, provide slightly conditional love. Sooner or later, the deception fails and you see them for the jerks they really are.
Starting with this smug butthole, Ferdinand. Besides sending incomprehensible messages to people on discord and QA testing Tabletop Sim while I'm using it, this floofy dongus is so prissy when sharing the bed. I move just a little bit, and suddenly he hates the vibes I'm throwing, mrrrps, and leaves in a huff.
But little does he know I've been laying awake in bed for five hours now, and he's flipped around so many times I've had to chase out no less than six Olympic judges.
Anyways, post your pets and their many, many crimes.